A Library of Your Own

Christina here. When I was young, I dreamed of having my own library. The old-fashioned kind, of course, with built-in shelves in the Gothic style and special ladders for climbing up to reach the top. Perhaps even a double-height room with a little balcony running round the top where you could walk around to peruse those shelves. It has to be the ultimate fantasy for a booklover and I can’t help but picture the library in the Disney film Beauty and the Beast – just perfect!

(There is a list of five real life libraries here that would suit me just fine, although with slightly more realistic expectations, my ideal is the one at Saltram House, a National Trust Property in Devon).

My library was going to be very specific though, not like the general one downtown. It would be specially curated to contain only romantic fiction, some historical fact/biographies, possibly a few thrillers, and coffee table books, including those relating to my favourite artists. And the romantic books had to all have Happy-Ever-After endings – no sad ones allowed. No Gone With the Wind (although I might make an exception for that one as it’s a classic), absolutely no Tess of the D’Urbervilles and no Thorn Birds. And yes, even if I hadn’t read the books added to that library, I would have checked the ending of each and every one just to make sure.

I started collecting books early on, asking for them at Christmas and for every birthday. Over time, I have built up a library of sorts and I now have hundreds of books all over the house. There are shelves in every nook and cranny, especially since my husband is also a booklover who collects his own preferred genres. Occasionally there are even books in piles on the floor. I don’t have the Gothic library I dreamed of – I’d need the stately home for that and let’s face it, that’s never going to happen unless I win the Lottery – but I probably have enough content to fill an entire room. All with the requisite HEA endings.

But here’s the thing – there are quite a few books there that I haven’t read yet and many I don’t even envisage wanting to read. They may have caught my fancy with their blurb at some point and I bought them (or asked for them as presents), or they might be books I’ve been given as freebies at conferences. I’d never refuse a book that sounds promising – who would? And yet, I’m starting to doubt that I’ll ever get around to reading them. So should I really keep them? Is that library ever going to materialise?

As a true booklover, I hardly dare whisper that question, but it’s one I’m increasingly asking myself. Perhaps I’m having a book-related midlife crisis? Or have I grown more pragmatic with age? There does come a point where youthful dreams become just that – a chimera, impossible to reach. And there is no doubt I have grown more realistic in my goals in recent years.

As part of that process, my husband and I have been talking about downsizing. It’s bound to happen sooner or later, and if/when that time comes, I won’t be able to take all the books with me. Unless I leave out a lot of furniture and other useful things instead, but that’s probably not a good idea. So I’ve been thinking that I should start the cull now. Go through every bookshelf and take a good, hard look at each book and decide if I really NEED to keep it. Am I ever going to read it? Or if I already have, am I likely to read it again? Did I love it so much I can’t possibly let go of it? Is the author a favourite, a friend or someone I admire? Depending on the answers to those questions, there are probably loads of books that could be let go. Books others might enjoy instead of them sitting here gathering dust on my shelves in pursuit of a silly dream.

I know the Wenches have talked about this before (Nicola and Anne when she was moving house recently) and at the time I was thinking NO WAY! I’m not letting a single book leave these premises unless it’s one I absolutely hate. And yet, I’m slowly changing my mind. There seems no point in hanging on to them just for the sake of it.

Being surrounded by books you love is comforting if you’re a bookworm, and the ability to just grab a favourite off the shelf and dip into the bits you love best is soothing. I can’t imagine living in a home without books, but having only those I genuinely enjoy seems the best option. I recognise that I have hoarding tendencies (not just with books, but lots of other items) and one day my long-suffering children will be left with the task of sorting out the mess. It would be a kindness to help them by reducing the number slightly, don’t you think?

It's strange how some of us are so keen to hoard things, to keep hold of as many objects as possible, while others feel no materialistic ties. I wish I was the kind of person who could live a spartan lifestyle, in a minimalistic apartment with stark décor and just the odd objet d’art, but I’m not. My nature is to love owning stuff, surrounding myself with it, and arranging it into organised chaos. Still, there comes a time when enough is enough. So I will tackle this, probably in the next few weeks. Well, very soon anyway. In the meantime, I’ve just ordered two more books …

Do you keep too many books or are you ruthless? If so, how do you decide which books to get rid of? And do you dream of owning a library too or is it just me?

Comments

[Misti]

A few years ago when I needed new carpet, I decided to turn the back bedroom into a library. It's my favorite room in my house now. Everything in there that isn't a book was chosen for that room. It's not fancy, but it's mine. The new library fit more bookshelves than I have ever had. They were not filled at the time but they are now and they are starting to be double stacked in places.

I do force myself to periodically cull my books and donate them to my local library and their annual book sale. Sometimes it's easy because I bought a book and just didn't love it. But many times I decide to put a book back on the shelf because one day I might really read it. And then there have been times I've gotten rid of a book and then re-purchased it later! :)

I'm still bringing in more than I take out. It's a battle that I've already surrendered. I've lost. I just try to keep most of the chaos to one room. You know, minus the stacks by the bed or coffee table I'm actively "reading". :)

[Beverly Abney]

I am in the middle of moving to a different house, and it is surprising how many "things" you can begin to get rid of. I have been donating books to libraries along and along, and there are probably more I will never re-read again, but I can't bear to give real favorites away. I will be moving book shelves, so many old favorites can go with me. Still, moving is a good way to downsize my books as well as a few other things I really don't need. At age 90, I don't need a lot of "stuff".

[Alison Y]

Regarding the beautiful libraries you referenced, I think I would not like to have any like those. They are so beautiful that I fear I would spend my time admiring all those wonderful works of art.

As to book collections, I moved to a retirement community 18 months ago and had to get rid of all kinds of stuff, books included. Before moving, I checked to see how close the local library was; close, and if it offered inter-library loans, which it does. Knowing that, culling books became much easier.
I kept ones that I knew for sure I would reread, or just loved to look at, and got rid of the rest. I have had no regrets about my decision. Now, I just try not to add too many new ones.

[Christina Courtenay]

I’m so glad you have your library Misti, it sounds perfect! And yes, I think we’re fighting a losing battle really :-)

[Christina Courtenay]

I hope you’ll be very happy in your new home Beverly! And it’s great that you can bring all your favourite books. I definitely need to do some decluttering too.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Oh, Christina, the booklover's lament! I crave both the fantasy library, and also understand the need to clear out. I've made steps in that direction. Very small steps. *G* But I'll continue to work on that!

[Christina Courtenay]

That sounds like a perfect compromise Alison! And you’re right about those beautiful old libraries I mentioned - they are too nice to actually use. I do love the look of them though!

[Kareni]

When I was young, Christina, I dreamed of having a roll top desk with hidden compartments. We moved a lot, so dreaming of a library was probably unwise. I've visited many a library, but I've never had a roll top desk. I'm not sure I'd want one now. There's likely no room for one due to an abundance of books!

[Sonia Bellhouse]

I think of myself as something of a book dragon hoarding books! However, I know it is unrealistic and have recently been taking small steps to reform. If I read it and its not an absolute favourite, I pass it on, to a friend or to the book swop shelf at the library. I have five large bookcases(6ft high 3ft wide) plus four smaller book cases and all are full. I may want to move in the mid term and possibly downsize, so I am trying to begin to solve problem I have created.

[Karin]

I'm down from the peak number of books I once owned. There are many great books that I loved reading, but realistically, they are not the type that I'd want to reread. So I've given away cartons of paperbacks, and a lot of coffee table art books. However I've still got 2 bookcases, plus 2 or 3 cartons of unread books(mostly romance) and 1 carton of keeper romances. I've also got a lot of unread literary fiction and non-fiction books that I never seem to get around to. I'm still deluding myself that I'll read them all in my lifetime! Like Christina, I enjoy having familiar objects around me, whether it's a piece of hand-me-down furniture or a tea set or a painting. There is a story behind each object.

[Christina Courtenay]

It’s so difficult, isn’t it! Always a wrench to get rid of books as they’re so precious :-)

[Christina Courtenay]

Who wouldn’t want a desk with a hidden compartment - sounds fabulous! But having lots of books is great too.

[Christina Courtenay]

That is exactly what I’m doing, Sonia! Let’s hope we are both successful!

[Christina Courtenay]

That’s so true! Sometimes it’s the memory that’s hard to get rid of, not the object itself. I just need to be tough I think.

[Mary M.]

Have I got a solution for you, Christina and all others struggling with this problem! (Me, too.) Acquaint yourselves with Youtuber DanaKWhite of A Slob Comes Clean. She's the creator of "the container concept," in which every part of your house, including the house, is a container with finite capacity. When a designated box or shelf or closet is full and you want to add something to it you have to decide if it's worth getting rid of something already there to make space for it. No guilt—the container makes the decision.

In our instance regarding books, it's a little tricky because we mega-readers can ALWAYS justify more space for books. But we're talking more shelves, or doubling up, or leaving stacks on the floor. No! Declare limits (especially if planning downsizing) and let the container decide! It's a simple, clear cut system and I'm here to say it works.

[Diane G]

We built our dream house two years ago and yes, I added an amazing library to it. One where my husband and I can both grow our ever-expanding collection. I have culled my books in the past and sometimes look back regretfully on the choices I made. I now scour used bookstores searching for those exact books. Others I’ve said goodbye to I don’t miss. I must admit, I have gone the technology route and bought some of my favorites as ebooks so I always have a copy at my fingertips.

[Annette N]

Oh Lord, this topic is giving my anxiety attacks their own personal anxiety attacks.
I do not consider myself a hoarder. But, in reality, I am. That is a secret in my own mind.
I am a book addict. I admit it. I have been reading since I was 4 and got my first personal book then. The collecting is ingrained in my soul. But, as has been said here, there are also other things which bring me joy. Right now, I have a room which has book shelves on two walls. Pretty much floor to ceiling. I love that fact. I have also learned that I must not hang on to books which do not light up my soul.
I have a friend who receives books which are not to my taste. I have donated to the Salvation Army in order that they might make money from my used books. I have won books which it turns out are not what I would ever read. I am trying not to be one of those people you read about - you know the ones found in their home buried under a pile of books which fell over on top of them.
My computer died, and with it all the lists which show my reading history. I do not always remember titles, but I remember stories. So, I figure I will be getting some new books which are ones I have already read. The books which are favorites of mine, are on the shelves in that room.
And I must admit, there are things I love other than books. But, I am trying to be reasonable. A lot of the antique china and glassware I have passed on to my daughter-in-law. So, my son will have to deal with it there.
I had a china service for 12 that Mr Wonderful got me without ever asking what I liked....it was not anything I would have chosen. I gave it away. I was trying to be sensible about what I had in my life. Shortly after that was gone, I found a service for 8 that is from the World War II era. I had to get it because it is so lovely.
I admit it, I am weak.
I will be moving from this house before too long. I can easily leave the couch and chairs in the living room, the bedroom furniture in my room, but certain antique furniture and most of my books and the china and glassware I have....I must keep them. So, I can see it now, I will be sitting on the floor, eating off beautiful china and reading a really great book. Sleeping on the floor is not all that bad, is it?

[Janet]

I went through this process when I moved eighteen months ago. The layout of my new house meant that I couldn't have the library of my dreams, but I do have one wall of books in each bedroom. Fortunately, had some months to sort out my books. The standard I used was: have I read this book multiple times already, or am I likely to re-read it? I manage our local library bookstore, so I had no problem disposing of the ones that didn't make the cut. Still, after donating 600 books, I have 1600 left. I call my style decorating with books!

[Kareni]

I saw this article yesterday about one man's personal library ~

https://bookstr.com/article/70k-books-found-in-hidden-library-in-this-germany-home/

[Kareni]

I saw this article yesterday about one man's personal library ~

https://bookstr.com/article/70k-books-found-in-hidden-library-in-this-germany-home/

[Karen S. Clift]

I remember standing in the 2 story library at the Biltmore with it's beautifully painted ceiling & fireplace and shelves upon shelves of books and being totally in awe! Now I think about having to climb ladders to get to so many of the books plus that fireplace isn't good for them...yeah, it sounds wonderful but reality bites!

When I was listing paperbacks last spring as I was moving them back into the bedroom book shelves, I was also weeding heavily. Titles that I now own in e-format & didn't mind not having the pbk--they went. Titles that were definite impulse buys & no longer appeal--they went. Authors that I faced up to the fact that I didn't really care for their work--they went. But I still have at least a thousand of pbks in romance & scif fy/fantasy; I didn't even get to the hundreds of stitching and other such as weaving, depression glass, etc that are in the bookshelves in the work room!

My sister tells me that as my executor, as she knows I'll have lots of books when I'm gone, she's going to load them all up & take them somewhere like Good Will or Half Price Books or a local library & keep carting them in until the folks bar the door! And when I moved here 30 yrs ago, the family told me they weren't ever moving me again until I got rid of half of my books! And I didn't have near the amounts I do now!

And so it goes... My Sister & SIL told me they'd figured my dream house would have a very large library with lots & lots of book shelves. Ah well, no specific library room but lots of bookshelves anyway!

[Teresa Broderick]

Christina, I've always wanted a library like that! Kareni, I craved a roll top desk, just could never afford one.
I find it very hard to give books away. Where I live most of the charity shops won't take them anymore. They can't sell them!! Imagine that! So it's an excuse to keep them all:)
We moved house sixteen years ago. My brother helped with the move. When he saw the boxes marked books and how many there were he said there should be a law against how many books a person can own:):) There were four readers in the house at the time!
Great post.

[Christina Courtenay]

Thank you Mary, that sounds interesting! I will definitely check it out, but I can't promise that I'll stick to it. Perhaps with regard to other things, but not books!

[Christina Courtenay]

That sounds fabulous, Diane! It is annoying when you discover you've let go of a book you later want, but as you say, it's great that we can have them in ebook form now. I do love my Kindle!

[Christina Courtenay]

You've made me laugh, Annette, because I'm exactly the same! I think I'll end up on the floor as well one of these days :-D . So glad it's not just me!

[Christina Courtenay]

Wow, Janet, 600!!! Not sure I can be that ruthless, but I will definitely give it a try. And decorating with books sounds absolutely perfect to me!

[Christina Courtenay]

Oh my goodness! That looks like paradise for a book lover (apart from the fact that there was no romantic fiction), but how on earth did he get them to stay in the roof like that? Amazing!

[Christina Courtenay]

It sounds to me like you've done well with weeding out the books you don't need and what is left is totally necessary. I hope to get to that point too. Sadly, I think my daughters will do the same thing with my books one day, but I am determined to enjoy them anyway and not think about that.

[Christina Courtenay]

I'm so glad you agree with me, Teresa! It would be lovely, wouldn't it. And yes, my husband is not keen on moving our book collection again either - I think we'll need to hire removal men to do it for us next time. It's amazing how heavy book boxes can be!

[Kareni]

Teresa, glad to know that I'm not alone in having wished for a roll top desk!

[Anne Gracie]

Lovely post, Christina, and wow! that German library where the books even line the roof. Amazing. I had a sort of library in my old house, though nothing like as grand as the ones you've shown. I had three walls lined with books, to just over 6ft high, but I also had several large bookcases in every room of the house. I haven't unpacked most of my books yet — was waiting for bookshelves to be built and now they are, I have to finish a book. but soon, I hope.
I plan however to cull a lot of my books and I'm giving away a couple of big bookshelves. I want to keep only the books I love.
We'll see.

[Vicki L]

I feel everyone's pain about having to weed out books. I've gone through the process several times over the years. Tastes change. My shelves get full. I need SOMEWHERE to put my books.

As for Dana White's method...it is a very workable method but...I'm not quite as strict as she is. I don't mind double stacking my books. Nor squeezing out a little more space in a new spot that is wasted. Grin. Its probably been 15 or 20 years since I've added any new shelf space so I do have a finite amount of "container" space.

I highly recommend starting on an author or subject matter that you really aren't that interested in any more first. The easy nah's. Once you start going, it gets a little easier.

There are about 20 books I know for sure I've rebought after I got rid of them. But for the most part I haven't missed what I moved on.

You can also create a let me think about it shelf. Sometimes I find after I think about it for a month or so, that book/item really can be sent on its way. Apparently I have to say an extended mental goodbye to some books! But once it has been there for a month or two, it goes bye bye very easily.

Good luck for everyone faced with weeding out their Dragonly Hoard of Book Treasures.

[Christina Courtenay]

Thank you - yes, I think keeping only the ones we love should be the rule. It's just so hard to get rid of any of them when you're a book worm! Your new shelves sound wonderful and I'm sure it's going to look great once you have unpacked and organised everything.

[Christina Courtenay]

Thank you, Vicki, those are excellent ideas! I especially like the 'think about it' shelf, that sounds brilliant. Much better than making a snap decision and regretting it a few weeks later. I will try that! And yes, tastes change - when I was younger I read any books I could get my hands on as long as there was a little romance in them, but now I'm a lot fussier. Should make it slightly easier to get rid of some!

[Jane axelrod]

Like you, I dreamed of a library like the ones i saw in the moviies and in mansiins and house i visited. The closest i have come is the wall to wall floor to ceiling bookcases in my apt living room and my bedroom filled with my favorite authors, biigraphies, history,art, fashion history and lots of oversized coffee table books.
Because i have run out if room, i have all but stopped buying books and now borrow extensively from the local lobrary.