The Age of the Euphemism

Nicola here. I'm in my writing cave dealing with revisions to my latest manuscript, so today I have dusted down a Wench classic post from 7 years ago which provoked an interesting and fun discussion at the time and I hope will do the same now its been updated and expanded. The topic is "euphemisms" and the first line of this blog piece is of course a euphemism in itself. What I really mean is that I planned a new blog topic but ran out of time to write it. Euphemisms are "a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing." And we use them all the time: "Downsizing" for job cuts, "certified pre-owned" for a used item (or "pre-loved" for clothes), "friends with benefits," "creative with the truth," ladies' powder room" to quote just a few. There are endless ways of softening something that sounds too direct and the word euphemism itself originates from the Ancient Greek meaning "good speaking."

There are many euphemisms for things that are considered too personal to express directly. This is where this blog post receives it's X rating as we plunge into topics that have been and may still be culturally taboo for some people. In both my mother's and grandmother's generation there were certain words that were simply not appropriate to use. My dearly-loved godmother, for example, completely confused me when she referred to her "sit upon." I thought she meant a piece of furniture rather than her bottom! But euphemisms enable people to speak about things they find uncomfortable. They are comfort words that help us broach difficult topics. It's worth bearing in mind though, that you can stumble into cultural quicksands with euphemisms very easily. The "fanny pack" is one example, and did you know that in Scotland a "peenie" is an apron so "get your peenie out" could be misconstrued? And whilst on that subject, the question "which way do you dress?" from a tailor to a client during a trouser fitting is a euphemism designed to save both from embarrassment but which could easily cause confusion.

In the 1970s, historical romances could be a riot of euphemism. When I was in my early teens and first discovered the works of Barbara Cartland, not only did her heroines have plenty of ellipses in their breathless speech, there were also lots of … in the vague descriptions of the act of love itself. Sometimes it was so vague that I totally missed what was going on. In other cases I believed that making love literally involved floating up to heaven on a pink cloud. Dame Barbara thought it vulgar to write about sex in lurid terms. For her it was all about the romance. "If you read newspapers today,” she said, “you see things that our mothers and grandmothers would have been shocked and ashamed to read. It is sex, sex, sex all the time, and it is not what we want."

Well, times may have changed in romantic fiction with books becoming ever more graphic and explicit, but there are still a lot of readers who agree that less description and more imagination is preferable. Indeed the struggle to find euphemistic language in romance sometimes ends up being comical rather than sexy. I imagine we've all read about precious jewels – even crown jewels – yards (wishful thinking?), manroots (there are some in the picture), and aching buds! I may even be guilty of writing some classic euphemisms myself.

This is not a new phenomenon. Here are some historical euphemisms for the male member. “Gentleman usher” dates from 1719, perhaps prompted by the role of the Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod, who is principally responsible for controlling access to and maintaining order within the House of Lords. These days there's actually a female Black Rod in post. “Ambassador” is another one with governmental connections. “Master John Goodfellow” dates from the puritanical days of 1656. Confusingly “ladyware” also refers to the male rather than the female anatomy and dates from the 16^th century. The phrase “lady garden” was supposedly invented by Heat Magazine a few years ago but is a variation of some good old-fashioned phrases such as “Cupid’s Warehouse” and “Venus’s cradle” first used in the 15^th century. In fact as far back as Roman times, people were using euphemisms - Men in the Roman world were referred to as possessing "tails" and if that isn't confusing I don't know what is.  Giblets, kicky-wickies, tuzzy-muzzy, doodle, kitty and gingling Johnnie have all been used down the centuries.

The British magazine, The Literary Review,  has since 1993 awarded a Bad Sex in Fiction Award for “the year’s most outstandingly awful scene of sexual description”. It is intended to draw attention to “the poorly written, redundant, or downright cringeworthy passages of sexual description in modern (literary) fiction”. I won’t inflict too many of these terrible descriptions on you as this is an area in which many literary authors seem to flail badly, but here are a few examples of their purple prose.

“A near impenetrable forest adorned with the most tousled, tangled patch in which to forage.”

“My beast was released from its cage and sprang out wildly.”

 “She felt as though she was manipulating a small monkey that was curling up its paws.”

There are many more but I need to revive myself with a cup of tea now (not a euphemism).

There’s an art to writing sex and I think that the best romance authors are way better than their literary colleagues at
making it meaningful. Context is all when writing a love scene, as is emotion and dialogue as well as sensation and description. It took me a long time to get over reading the sex scene in a certain Booker prize-winning novel where the tender moment was interrupted by a dog savaging a penguin. 

If you are still with me at the end of this “deluge of deliciousness” what are your thoughts? Do you think euphemisms are a good thing, smoothing over the more difficult areas of communication? Do you have a favourite euphemism or one you really hate? Do euphemisms have a place in romance novels or should we just be upfront in our language?

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Mary T]

Euphemisms are okay with me as long as they are not too obscure. They are often used for humor and I do find them funny. But I'm okay with plain speaking too. The main thing is that I want to understand what I am reading.

What annoys me more nowadays are acronyms. I guess I just don't care enough to keep up with them and it gets really annoying when I have to stop reading something and try to find out what the initials mean. For the longest time I thought LOL meant "lots of love" (LOL).

[Kareni]

What a fun and educational post, Nicola! My cousin recently mentioned her late (and there's one of the many euphemisms for dead) husband being on his pink cloud, so it was amusing to see you use the term. I, too, cut my teeth (!) on the books of Barbara Cartland and was likely equally flummoxed by those ellipses.

I don't mind euphemisms though sometimes they can break the mood; admittedly, clinical terms can do the same thing.

And I sympathize with you on the subject of acronyms, Mary T!

[Kareni]

Came back to say that the cover art of the Dictionary of Euphemisms above really confused me. I searched for a better picture, and it appears to be a person whitewashing an elephant.

[Mary Jo Putney]

LOL, Nicola! I love the book cover of the man whitewashing the elephant in the room--a brilliant piece of cover design.

When I write sex scenes, I lean more toward the emotional than the clinical, but really--a dog savaging a penguin????

[Marilyn Forsyth]

Hi Nicola! Such an entertaining post with quite a few LOL moments. I'm still laughing at the 'beast released from its cage'. Crikey! Hopefully the days of euphemisms in romances are long gone; as Mary Jo pointed out, it's the emotion that's important in those sex scenes.

[Nicola Cornick]

LOL, Mary!!!! Yes, the acronyms we have now as a result of text speak are so confusing. I think LOL did also mean "lots of love" before emojis took over. Most of us understand euphemisms, or at least can work out what they are supposed to mean, and they can be very funny but there's a lot to be said for straightforward language, especially when writing.

[Nicola Cornick]

Absolutely true, Kareni, that clinical terms can just be too blunt in some situations! And there are so many euphemisms for death - I suppose it does comfort us to think in more gentle ways about those who have passed over...

[Nicola Cornick]

Mary Jo - I know! The dog and penguin thing would have been disturbing in any situation but as a way to interrupt a love scene it was utterly wrong in so man y ways!

[Nicola Cornick]

Yes exactly, Marilyn. The focus should be on the emotions not the body parts. There truly are some cringe-worthy descriptions in some literary novels where authors fight their way through a thicket of metaphors!

[Mary M.]

I dunno. Aside from the overwrought Barbara Cartland, I'm thinking there are worse things in romance books than euphemisms. Specifically, I'm recalling an early modern (i.e., in the '80s) romance where the author played it straight: "He put his hand here, then crossed it to there, while she moved her leg somewhere else and made that sound." So mechanical and robotic, and it went on for a couple of pages like that! I don't know if the writer was clueless or just snarking her editor for insisting on a "graphic" sex scene.

The only euphemism (if it is one) that really bums me out is, "She screamed and bucked off the bed." Always feels like “she” accidentally stuck a finger in a light socket while in the throes.

[nancy]

I prefer closed doors to any descriptions. Some authors write as though authoring a sex manual. Most of the euphemisms are silly. I usually just skip those scenes and resent the author taking up pages and words that could have been used on more interesting subjects.I think there are more euphemisms about sex than anything but death is probably second. All the writing classes talk about POV. Whose POV is it in the scene where they are having sex? Also, anyone who can give a coherent description of what is happening then isn't fully engaged in the situation so why should I be?

[Quantum]

I think euphemisms in romance can add to the fantasy aspect, allowing an author to concentrate on creating bubbles of emotion which could easily burst if clinical detail were used too much. Its interesting how some authors clearly enjoy creating these bubbles and allow them to last for pages while others keep them brief. On reflection I think that I prefer the former .... just been reading Stephanie Laurens's 'Black Cobra' series. I like her mix of romance and adventure (similar to some of MJP's work) and her emotional bubbles are sublime. LOL

[Annette N]

Y'all have given me some very good laughs. Not sure, but I think actual emotionally charged sex scenes should not make me laugh. But then,in real life some of the sexiest times are when two people can laugh together while they are (here we go into a dark room and who knows what is happening).

Thanks so much for this post. You have made my Saturday.

Everyone smile, please!

[Karin]

I'm fine with euphemisms in romance, although sometimes they get a little far-fetched.
I enjoy the funny innuendo about sex and body parts that are often used in blues songs. For instance, jelly roll, sugar bowl, rocking the cradle, etc.
Jo Beverly had a scene in one of her books where the heroine gives the hero's member a pet name of "the Thames". It's pretty hilarious. It must have been one of her Georgian books, because that era was bawdier than the Regency.

[Nicola Cornick]

Urk, Mary, I can see that the signpost descriptions would be very off-putting. I did laugh at the light socket analogy!

[Nicola Cornick]

Yes, there are very few things as silly as euphemisms for sex! At least in other circumstances (death, work-related euphemisms) they don't make you snigger at the language used.

[Nicola Cornick]

Thanks, Quantum. Yes it really is all about creating that emotional connection to and for the characters, isn't it. Anything too clinical is going to jar horribly with the emotional and therefore romantic aspects.

[Nicola Cornick]

I'm so pleased it made you smile, Annette! Some of the euphemisms are very funny and it's fascinating that people have been inventing them for centuries. You are right, though, that laughter can be an aphrodisiac!

[Nicola Cornick]

I didn't know that about blues songs, Karin. I've learned something new. Thank you!

[Constance]

Karin is so right about blues songs - google Ruth Brown’s “if I Can’t Sell It, I’ll Sit On It” - triple X-rated but hilarious throughout! I always find the many different euphemisms for penis to be amusing, but have also wondered (should have sent this to Anne’s recent request for questions for you Wenches!) if the ones being used in historical romances are the ones actually used at the time, or do authors use the terms with which they’re most comfortable?

[Teresa Broderick]

Oh this post has done me good. I've had a right laugh all the way through!!
I'm definitely a 'leave it at the door' type reader of romance. Some of the descriptions are hideous and spoil the book completely for me. I'm not a prude but I like to enjoy my reading not have to skip pages because 'he's planting his seed' or some other dire drivel!!
Great post Nicola. Thanks for the entertainment value :)

[Karin]

Catherine Russell's father played with Louis Armstrong's band, and she is one of my favorite jazz/blues singers. Here is her interpretation of an old Bessie Smith blues song, with lots of double entendre! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI-7em5eupQ

[Karin]

Oh yes! I was lucky enough to see Ruth Brown in person, and she sang that song.

[Nicola Cornick]

Perhaps we will tackle (!) that as a AAW, Constance!

[Nicola Cornick]

Yikes, Teresa, that's a very agricultural metaphor, isn't it!! I'm so pleased you enjoyed the post.

[Lil]

It's tricky. Use clinical terms and it sounds like a how-to manual. That would have been useful when I was a curious 12-year-old, but by now I and most readers know how tab A fits into slot B. But if you use too many euphemism there is the danger of unintentional comedy. There's the lovely line, often attributed to Lord Chesterfield, "The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the cost exorbitant."
All in all, I think it's best when authors concentrate on the emotions of the participants rather than finger placement.

[Mary E Drake]

What an hilarious post and comments. Thanks for the giggles. Plus the learning about the blues. I'll never listen the same way again - very Shakesperean. I think many young women preferred the clinical as a literal how-to in the past - seeing no one else would explain anything properly. For me however it's written, it needs to progress the story or I couldn't be bothered reading. The small monkey metaphor was a bit scary though, I think that would have put me right off. But can I just mention that 'planting his seed' his seed was not a euphemism at the time, it was the contemporary belief about conception. Baby seeds were planted and grew to full size. That was one reason that men owned children. Women were just fields not farmers - that's legal logic for you!

[Mary M.]

Related: "Worshiping at the alter of Onan." Meaning: Spilling one's seed without planting it, a sin for which God slew Onan, see Genesis and also Wikipedia at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan . My all-time favorite romance novel euphemism! (Because it made me look up the reference--serious stuff.)

[Nicola Cornick]

I love the Lord Chesterfield quote, Lil! Very funny.

[Nicola Cornick]

Glad you enjoyed it, Mary!

I didn't realize that that was the legal reason that men owned children. Something else new I've learned! Grim, though.

[Nicola Cornick]

My goodness! I knew the phrase but hadn't realised someone had used it in a romance novel!

[Janice]

I often skim the sex scenes, or skip them altogether; as Lil said, my 12 year old curiosity was satisfied long ago. Often I find such scenes counterproductive; they are very much of a sameness and they take away time from what really interests me, which is what is going on in the heads of the characters.

As to ridiculous terminology, I was once flipping through a Bertrice Small in the bookstore (when we still had those) - I think it may have been called The Kadin - when I came across a sex scene in which "she grasped his manroot." I laughed out loud and the lady next to me gave me such an odd look.

[Nicola Cornick]

Thanks for reminding me, Janice, that Bertrice Small had a range of wonderful euphemisms!