Anne here, and things are getting shaken up in my neck of the woods. I say "things" but really, I'm the one that's all shaken up. I've mentioned from time to time on this blog that I was decluttering — well, now it's the Big Event. If you've been following my personal blog, you'll see that I'm moving.
I've been waiting to get my little house renovated for years now — it badly needs it — and my plan was to move out to give the builder free rein to do it all at once — from replastering and painting walls and polishing floorboards to a complete new kitchen, laundry, bathroom and deck.
But the builder has been nowhere in evidence, and hasn't contacted me for more than 18 months — and he told me back in 2018 that he would start in March 2019. But I know he's been working on friends' properties, so I finally got fed up, and since it's the second time my renovation plans have fallen through, I saw a house advertised for sale, had a rush of blood to my head, bit the bullet and bought it at auction — which was quite nerve-racking. And I still can't quite believe it.
It's a lovely house, the same era as my current one, but fully renovated with lovely polished floorboards and a gorgeous kitchen, and the only thing I will need to do when I move in is get a dog door put in for my Milly-dog. The garden is also much smaller, which will be easier for me to manage.
But now I need to sell my house to pay for the new house, so an auction date has been set (most houses here are sold by auction) for next month, so I'm madly decluttering, sorting, carting stuff to the op-shop (charity shop — short for opportunity shop) and throwing stuff out.
It's so hard to do. So many thing spark memories, and it's too easy to let myself get distracted. Luckily I have friends who descend and nudge (or boot) me onwards. I know that when I finally move into the new house it will be so much better, but uprooting myself from this house (where I've lived for decades) is harder than I thought it would be.
Partly it's because after a childhood and youth of moving every year or two, once I bought this house in my 20's, I stayed put (apart from various overseas trips). So it's a bit like uprooting me from my past — which I know will be A Good Thing in the long run, but right now, it's hard.
My dog doesn't like all this fuss and bother either — as far as she's concerned we're either going for a walk or we're not — and what are all these boxes doing, taking up room in the sunny spot where she likes to lie!
And it's going to feel weird, having strangers and neighbors looking through my home. My decorating style is quirky, rather than fashionable — I like color and the current fashion is for grey, white and black with perhaps a cushion or two for color contrast. And I don't have a dishwasher, or clothes dryer, but I have shelves and shelves of books in every room (except the bathroom and laundry.)
I'm only tidying the bookshelves at the moment and removing the ones that don't fit — my TBR pile has gone. The big painful Culling Of The Books (shudder) will take place after the auction, when I'm doing another big declutter in preparation for moving house.
So forgive me for this short and very personal blog, but right now I'm short of time. I'm also doing page proofs of my next book — The Rake's Daughter — in between culling, packing and cleaning.
Have you moved often in your life, or have you stayed put for a long time, like me? And do you have any tips or advice for me?
I should move. I should relocate to a different area perhaps, or a more convenient living place, but I can't seem to do it somehow.
All my life I had lived first with family, where nothing was mine, and then in an apartment, where the landlord was crazy. I had longed for a place that was mine, where nobody could make me feel unwelcome or push me out (except maybe the bank), and it was a big day for me when I bought this apartment - where I've lived ever since. My old home was destroyed, so this is home to me now. My cats were here. My books are here. The pictures on the walls are ones I picked and they're not the dumb lifeless flower designs other people had. But the buildings now have problems and I have problems :) - so maybe in the not too distant future I will nerve up, find another place (maybe even in another state) and go there.
In this large condo complex people come and go, and I don't understand that. They don't seem to invest much emotion in where they live; they have few possessions; they leave things as they found them; it's as if they're renting their lives. They have big TV screens stapled to the walls that I see through their front windows; they have no visible book shelves (another thing I don't understand). They're mostly all very nice but they don't exactly radiate permanence. By comparison I feel very much like a 20th century person (if not 18th century), with my desire for "roots."
I wish you much joy in your new home and I hope the dog becomes reconciled to the temporary disorder in her life :)
Posted by: Janice | Thursday, February 10, 2022 at 10:40 PM
Anne, I sympathize! We have moved twice in 50 years and it was very stressful. I am a keeper, and the family historian, but in the last move I realized I was going to have to let certain things go, especially some large family furniture pieces. I find it comforting every once in a while to look at the pictures of my old house that were posted in the real estate listing. I remember the fun times we had there and enjoy knowing I don’t have to clean that huge house! In the end, in the smaller house where everything has it’s place, I do feel more in control. The funny thing is that I am still purging. Good luck with your sale and move.
Posted by: Denise | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 06:55 AM
Janice, how strange that some people are so unattached to their homes! I'm a nester. I've worked from home for--decades. My kingdom, my cats! But sometimes, moves must happen. Sigh.
Posted by: Mary Jo Putney | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 07:52 AM
Denise--moving is usually such a mixed blessing. Less to clean, but more to miss!
Posted by: Mary Jo Putney | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 07:53 AM
I moved a great deal as a child and went to fifteen schools between kindergarten and high school graduation; my four years at college and again in grad school were new records. For fifteen years after that, we lived in one city but moved four times. While I hated the packing, moving did force me to evaluate my possessions and discard. I've now been in one house for nearly twenty years and really should declutter, but ....
Best wishes with the auction and your move, Anne. My helpful advice? Have a nice piece of chocolate.
Posted by: Kareni | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 09:01 AM
Good Luck with the move Anne! I basically lived in one place my whole "kid" life, but once I went away to college and met my husband I've been a mover. We've lived in Wisconsin, Illinois, Pennsylvania & California. We've moved quite a few times during our stays in each state. LOL. We're in the downsized mode since coming to California which makes moving easier. We absolutely love our place here and the neighborhood so we might stay put for awhile. The things that always move with me are my books, dolls, fairy collection & musical instruments (& I have a lot - Celtic Harps, Guitars, Piano). Good thing my husband travels light!
Posted by: Jeanne Behnke | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 11:53 AM
I moved between rented flats many times when younger, as a student and research scientist. I bought my house when I found a permanent job and extended it when progeny appeared. I'm very happy with the location so have stayed put. When all the stress of moving and selling dissipates I expect that you will be blessed with a stimulating new environment, all set for a new exciting beginning.
Anne, my top tips: 1) Find a strong man to shift the furniture around for you. 2) Advertise in the local paper for a gardener (retired person) to keep the outside tidy.
Good Luck!
Posted by: Quantum | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 01:51 PM
Currently moving from Qld to NSW after 20 years, and the culling that went on was amazing. However, I still have to find a new place and my stuff is in storage! Living in a motel is not fun. Putting in bids and not getting anywhere is soul destroying, but the bliss of finally getting my gear will be great- especially my books!
Posted by: Sue-Anne McTaggart | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 02:27 PM
We downsized a few years ago and the worst I had to do was sort out books. Which ones to keep and which ones to go to the op shop. I still have shelves full of books despite the cull.
Posted by: Rosemary | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 02:42 PM
Thanks, Janice. I hear you on the crazy landlord — I actually bought this house in my early twenties, long before I was planning to buy a house, but my landlord was driving me bonkers! So a friend said "Buy" and I did. Houses were much more affordable then. Now the prices here are crazy and I don't know how anyone can afford to buy one unless they already have one to sell, like I do.
Like you, I don't understand how people don't get attached to their home. I suppose some of us are nesters and others aren't.
The dog will enjoy the new place, I know. It's all this rushing around here — and nobody throwing balls—that she's annoyed about.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:09 PM
Denise, I'm also the family historian, but photos of some things are good to keep instead of the things. When I gave away my record collection, I wrote a list in my journal of the ones I'd miss most, and some other things I've given away, I took photos of.
I will still be purging after the move, as this current flurry of activity is getting the house ready for sale, so all the extraneous stuff is going into storage first, and then I'll sort it after I've moved. But at my leisure, rather than the chaos of now.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:13 PM
Kareni, when we moved a lot, it was easier, I think — no moss on the rolling stone. Now I'm deeply embeddded in moss. *g*
Thanks for the chocolate. I finish every day at the moment, with half an house of reading and a pice of chocolate. It helps calm the chaos in my head, that wants to make endless to-do lists.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:15 PM
Thanks, Jeanne, I think when you're in the swing ov moving frequently, you pare down you possessions to keepers/treasures and necessities, and "other". But the longer you stay, the more blurred the distinction becomes.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:17 PM
Thanks, Quantum — yes, it was from a student household that I moved into this house, though I wasn't a student by then. I love this location and am sorry to leave it, but endless waiting for renovations had become stressfull, so I decided to embrace short-term stress for long term gain.
Thank you for your tips. I am blessed in my friends and have help to move stuff around, and I just asked the friend who's been cleaning up the garden if he'd be interested in mowing the small bit of lawn I'll have at the new place. I'm very sad about leaving some of my garden behind — the lilac bush, the philadelphus, the jacaranda that Dad grew from a seed and the bulbs (mostly from mum and dad's garden) now dormant in summer, but the new garden is small but pretty and low maintenance. Which will be easier to maintain.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:22 PM
Sue-Anne, how frustrating to be living in a motel and waiting to find your new home. And I'm sure the culling you did before the move was both painful and freeing. Best of luck in finding your new home.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:23 PM
Rosemary the culling of the books will be the hardest for me, too. At least the opshops have started taking them now — they didn't for a long time because of CoVid. The estate agent, when he as looking at the house, asked "Have you read all these books" — and I don't think he quite believed me when I said yes. *g* But I don't watch much TV.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 03:26 PM
We're currently in our 8th home - hopefully our last. Good for you on taking the plunge - it will be fabulous and will feel like home in no time at all.
Posted by: Chris Weston | Friday, February 11, 2022 at 08:37 PM
I've moved a few times and every time I seem to have accumulated more stuff. These days I do my best to get rid of stuff I no longer need on regular basis. I either sell it, swap it for something I do need or just donate it to Red Cross fleamarket. As for books, whenever possible, I try to replace favorite ink and paper books with ebooks. I still have plenty of *real* books, like dictionaries, cook books, comics and other books with lots of pictures which I really wouldn't want to read as ebooks, anyway.
Posted by: Minna Puustinen | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 12:37 AM
Thanks, Chris. At the moment, I'm caught between daunted by the work and decisions ahead and excitement about the new house. *g*
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 02:38 AM
Minna, I'm determined to continue the decluttering process. It really is much better to be free of "stuff." I was doing quite well, but the op-shops (charity shops) here stopped taking donations in 2020 because of Covid, and that stymied me.
And I also read mostly on e-book these days, but am aware that those books could one day evaporate, should amazon sell up, or change their system, so I'm not game to give away my favorites.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 02:41 AM
The best of luck with your move Anne and peace and happiness to you and Milly-dog in your new abode.
I moved house sixteen years ago and it took me a long time to get over it. I didn't really want to move so that didn't help. My brother helped with the move and he said it was criminal how many boxes of books he had to lift :) He's not a reader. Also my son and daughter lived with us at the time so the book collection was tripled!!
I would like to say it's the final move. It's a big house and not really needed now. I would love to down size, unfortunately hubby loves the place.
Posted by: Teresa Broderick | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 05:07 AM
Anne - I really feel for you. We have just moved after 20 years in the house we brought up our family, into my mother-in-law's house on a temporary basis. She died a year ago, was a hoarder and had lived in the house for 60 years :-(. So most of our stuff has had to go into store while we try and clear out her stuff! And then my mother wants me to help her declutter too and it is really not my thing. Of all the decluttering books I have read to try and help, I would recommend 'The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning' by Margareta Magnusson. It is kind to those of us who instinctively hang on to stuff, especially books
Posted by: Alice | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 06:23 AM
I have just remembered a good piece of advice I was given by a friend. It is always easier to sort at the other end, as then you are doing one box at a time, rather than a whole room/house. I have found this to be helpful as it is less overwhelming
Posted by: Alice | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 06:26 AM
Hi Anne,
I downsize all the time, and I am doing so again, in case I have to move from my current apartment this year or next.
A few years ago I read "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and "Spark Joy," both by Marie Kondo. It's Japanese decluttering in which she outlines how to declutter.
She wants people to put all of their clothing in one place. She talked about dumping all of it on the floor, which I wasn't about to do, so I dumped draws or closets of clothing on the bed I have right now, which is a Captain's Bed with six deep draws, three on each side.
Doing that and looking at closets helped me see where I had clothing that was similar and extra and only keeping the best. She suggests holding clothing or any object, take a moment to go within, and feel if this sparks any real joy, or is it just another sentimental item from the past to let go.
Kondo has a section on what to do about books. She says whatever someone reads is always within them, so only keep those that have deep meaning along the same lines of joy, unless reference books are necessary to the person's livelihood.
Concerning photos, she is too drastic telling people to get rid of them because you have the people in them already in your heart. What I did was take photos out of frames, and either have a small photo album or keep them in an envelope. I was tired of dusting 35 frames.
I have ordered a sofa sleeper with a state-of-the art mattress. The new ones no longer have the metal bar through it that is so uncomfortable to sleep on. It felt great when I laid on it in the showroom. It will be a space saver. I live in one room, a studio apartment. The six draws of clothing from the other bed is in boxes until the new chest of draws is delivered. It's just big enough. I had to measure both new pieces to make sure it fit just right.
I have moved too many times. Sometimes it was a big increase in rent or the apartment was not well renovated, and I was dealing with vermin with rodents and/or silverfish (flying roaches).
I am now in an apartment I would like to live in for the rest of my life, but there are new owners, and I am not rent stabilized (rent barely increases). My lease is up at the end of June. I don't know what the new owner will want in rent from year to year from now on.
It's very difficult to find an apartment I can afford in the Upper East Side of Manhattan without the owner wanting three to twelve months rent in advance at the time of signing the lease. Most owners want to see 40-50 times the monthly rent cost in the prospective tenants gross income on their tax return.
I fall short of that, but with an apartment broker helping me, I eventually find another place, possibly only paying two to three months of rent in advance to become a tenant.
I hope all goes well for you, Anne, and that you get a good price for your current home at the auction. The new house sounds wonderful. Congratulations in finding it.
Posted by: Patricia Franzino | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 07:57 AM
I lived in several different places as a child including different states. My husband was in the army when we married so we moved many times-close to 25 times in the sixteen years sfter we married. When we returned to the states we moved another seven times before we bought a house.I lived there for thirty years. My husband died, my children grew up and left, and a tree came through the roof.It was a two-story five-bedroom house with an attic and basement. The cleaning out took months and the painful separation from most of my fiction We loaded up dumpsters for disposal and trucks of donations to worthy causes. My three-bedroom Condo could fit in two rooms of the house. I sent over 50 boxes of books to the library and Goodwill. I have since filled every room of the condo with books. I still miss the space of my house.
Posted by: nancy | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 08:12 AM
Thank you, Teresa. I think the new house will be lovely, but I really will miss this old one. As for the boxes of books — yes, I have far too many, but I don't have time now to cull them — I'll do that in the new house. It's actually bigger, which is a danger.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 12:38 PM
Thank you, Alice. We had to clear out Mum and Dad's house, too -- they were both hoarders -- and I ended up with a lot of extra stuff from that process. Thank you for the Swedish Death Cleaning recommendation — I've heard of it. but never really investigated it.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 12:52 PM
Thanks, Alice -- that's what I'm doing too, as the timeline is quite tight on selling this house, so I'm sorting some things, and leaving the book culling especially for later.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 12:53 PM
Thanks, Patricia, I know the Marie Kondo method and find some of it useful, and will gradually adopt more of it, without doing the big everything out at once approach.
Best of luck in finding a suitable apartment at an affordable cost — the prices here have gone crazy too. But to have to pay that much in advance for a rental property makes things very hard, I'm sure.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 12:58 PM
Nancy, when you're in the habit of moving, I think it gets easier. It's staying in one place — as you know — that causes the stuff to mount up.
I keep reminding myself that I lived for a year out of one backpack, and didn't miss anything much.
Your forced move after the tree crashed through your roof sounds very painful, and I'm sure you miss your books dreadfully. Even though I mostly read on Kindle now, I can't bring myself to get rid of most of my books.
Posted by: Anne Gracie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 01:01 PM
Your house looks lovely and I am sure your new house will be too.
We are in the process of downsizing and letting many possessions go. I always thought I liked change but as the date gets closer I realise that perhaps it is more difficult than I imagined.
I hope a less cluttered life allows more time to be creative. I just want simple and humble and inexpensively beautiful.
Posted by: Annie | Saturday, February 12, 2022 at 07:57 PM
I spent my entire childhood in one house, and while I don't miss this house itself, that neighborhood and the people in it will always feel like home to me. Then there was a period of transience from college into my 30's. I have now been in this house, which I bought with my husband, for 27 years. We have no plans to move, but I have been doing some pandemic decluttering and purging.
My advice is to divide the perennials, and take some cuttings or suckers(lilacs produce lots of suckers) from the plants you are most attached to, and transplant them to your new garden. I transplanted suckers from my father's lilacs to this house. They are a particularly fragrant French lilac with double blossoms. I get lots of compliments on them, and they give me joy every spring.
Posted by: Karin | Sunday, February 13, 2022 at 03:38 AM
I wish you all the best with your new move. The last time we moved, I vowed I was never going to do it again. That was 48 years ago.
Posted by: Lil Marek | Sunday, February 13, 2022 at 12:16 PM
I'm glad the books are not included in the manic phase of moving! Too many treasures would get lost. Definitely understand your sadness about the plant treasures as well. Maybe the new owner will let you come back and get a few of the bulbs when they are back up.
Good luck with the move and finding homes for everything in the new place. And then the real task...remembering where the new SMART place is that you put things. Grin.
Posted by: Vicki L | Sunday, February 13, 2022 at 02:49 PM