Secret Scribbles

Christina here. I hope you’ll forgive me revisiting a topic Anne blogged about back in 2012 (here) because this is an exciting time of year for me – IT’S NEW DIARY TIME!!! That means I get to choose a brand new diary for next year and let me tell you, this is serious business.

I’ve kept a diary on and off since I was eight years old. When I was given my first one, the appeal lay in having somewhere secret to write down my thoughts because of course it had a lock and tiny key. (I didn’t know that anyone with a decent hairpin could probably have picked it). I relished the opportunity to keep my opinions away from prying eyes, especially those of my little brother once he learned to read. And anything secret seemed exciting then – my friends and I formed several secret clubs but that’s another story.

These days I don’t have many secrets to write about and there’s no lock on my diaries, but I still love to jot down what I’ve done each day and where I’ve been. Whenever possible I add things like ticket stubs and other tiny mementos, and there’s the occasional picture too. It’s not the end of the world if I miss a day occasionally, but on the whole, I’m pretty good about keeping up with it.

But is anyone ever going to read my diary apart from me? That is a question I frequently ask myself these days. Weeks and months of the Groundhog Day that was the year 2020 for example are not going to make riveting reading for anyone. Who will care whether I spent all day making apple pies? Weeding? Writing? Or that it was raining for the best part of a week? Probably no one.

And yet, as someone who has been doing genealogy for many years, I know that what I consider a boring life at the moment can seem exciting to future generations. I would kill for a diary kept by my great-great-grandmother or anyone before her. The little details of everyday life that we will never know about our ancestors would fascinate me, and I’d love to read the thoughts and views of a person from the past. So maybe one of my descendants will thank me? “Oh, she lived through the great pandemic!” they’ll say. “How odd that they didn’t have a cure back then!”

As Anne mentioned, there have been some famous diarists through the ages and their contributions to our knowledge of their times is invaluable. Samuel Pepys is perhaps one of the best known and people wanting to study Restoration London and the Great Fire for instance are indebted to him. And who could fail to be moved by Anne Frank’s diary? When I read it, I was very young and just didn’t want to believe that her story ended so unhappily. I kept expecting a sequel or an editor’s note at the back saying she’d made it home after the war but sadly not.

Eyewitness accounts from bygone eras are obviously an amazing resource for writers. For my first historical novel, Trade Winds, I used the diary of Colin Campbell when telling the story of a long journey to China in 1732. He was a Scotsman acting as supercargo (in charge of trading) on the first ship belonging to the Swedish East India Company (SOIC), which sailed to Canton in 1732. He kept a journal all through the voyage and it was invaluable to me.

Later, when I wrote Monsoon Mists, I based my descriptions of the city of Surat in India during the 1750s on another diary, that of Christopher Hinric Braad, a Swede who also travelled with the SOIC on some of their journeys to the Far East. His journals are the most meticulous you could possibly imagine, and contains not only copious notes and descriptions, but also superb drawings of all sorts of things – fish, plants, buildings and places. They really helped me to picture the sights the hero of my story would have seen during his travels. I too illustrated my very first diary, but alas my efforts weren’t quite on a par with Mr Braad’s. Mind you, to be fair, I was only eight …

I seldom look back at what I’ve written but those early entries make me laugh. I seem to have been preoccupied with what was served for lunch at school (and complaining bitterly at being made to eat brawn and haggis, both of which to this day make me shudder). Other complaints included the fact that my mother refused to bake cinnamon buns (she hates baking) – I had to make sure I was always at my best friend’s house when her mother did. And as a romance author in the making, I recorded my various crushes on boys in my class of course. I listed them in order of preference and it seems to have changed from day to day (fickle, moi?).

My teenage diaries are more interesting and naturally full of angst and rants against the unfairness of parents and their dictates. And boys. Always boys. However, when I read through them a while back in search of details of the various places I’d visited or lived in I drew a blank. That clearly was not of interest to me then, only drama with friends and school.

Another purpose of a diary for me has also been as an outlet for pent up frustrations and emotions. No one needs to read it really because just writing it is cathartic. Putting pen to paper has always calmed me down and helped me to order my thoughts. And while authors can put a lot of their feelings into their books (many a villain is based on someone we dislike!), there are some things that are too personal, hence the need for a diary. Maybe someone will read them one day or perhaps I’ll burn the lot. I haven’t decided yet.

In the meantime, they are filling a vital function in my life and I treat myself to a new one every year. I thoroughly enjoy choosing the right one, taking my time as I have to look at it every day. For the last ten years it’s been one made by Paperblanks, one of my favourite stationery companies, and the fact that they are all a uniform size appeals to me. Here is the one I’ve chosen for 2022!

How about you? Do you feel the need to jot down your thoughts in a diary or do you vent in other ways?

 

Comments

[Barbara Monajem (@BarbaraMonajem)]

I got one of those little diaries with a lock and key for Christmas when I was 11 years old. That year in school was really stressful for me, and the only thing I remember writing in the diary was one sentence when it was time to return to school after the holidays: "Back to the old grind." It's a cliche that doesn't say much -- but to me that sentence brings back memories of a year full of angst.

I'm not much of a diary person, but years ago I went through something painful and wrote my feelings down in a cryptic sort of way, for fear that someone would read it. I found it years later and couldn't understand *anything* of what I had written. A little too cryptic, maybe, because I don't even recall what upset me -- but I'm sure writing it down helped at the time. :)

[Christina Courtenay]

That sounds very familiar Barbara! I wrote part of my teenage diary in some sort of shorthand I learned in high school but now I've forgotten how to read it so can't decipher a single word :-) I'm glad if it helped you though - I do find it very cathartic to write things down. And hugs to 11-year old you!

[Annette N]

At night, before I sleep, I write my thank you's and I ask for blessings for people I know who are in need of being blessed.

I do not live a life which would inspire any time spent writing about it.

But, I hope that if I ever have an actual adventure....stopping spies....thwarting a bank robbery....helping someone escape a fate worse than death...those things I will write down.

Hope everyone is well and safe and happy

[Amy J]

The one time I keep a journal is when I'm on vacations, particularly solo ones, to remember the exciting and mundane details of the trip. So, sadly, no recent diary updates - maybe next year!

[Christina Courtenay]

That sounds like a great plan, Annette! I do hope you get those adventures. In the meantime, I like what you're doing already. Take care!

[Christina Courtenay]

Oh yes, when there is a lot to see and do it really pays off to keep a diary in order to remember it better afterwards. I often keep an extra diary if I'm on a special journey!

[Tina Brown]

I tend to write in diaries when I'm struggling with tough times and situations or when I'm trying to figure problems out. I hardly ever write down when I'm happy or living life to the fullest. My diary for the happy adventure times would be in photos so I guess that kind of counts if I put them all together.

[Kareni]

I've always wished to keep a diary. The three times I tried, the diary petered out after a few months or so. One of those diaries was from when I was 16, so I shared it with my daughter when she was the same age. We were both amused at how many of the entries started with "not much has happened since I last wrote"!

[Christina Courtenay]

That’s a good point - we record happy things with photos. Writing difficult stuff down is a great way of working through problems - I’m so glad it works for you too!

[Christina Courtenay]

LOL yes, I have quite a few of those as well! It is sometimes difficult to keep the momentum going but I try. It helps to have the diary somewhere I see it every day to remind me.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Christina, you make a compelling case for journaling and its value to you! I agree that diaries from the past are terrific for historic research, but I'm allergic to keeping any kind of diary myself. The once or twice I tried as a kid, I abandoned the task almost immediately. Maybe someone can suss out secrets of my life by reading my books. *G*

[Christina Courtenay]

That's true, Mary Jo, we do put a lot of ourselves into our books! *G*

[Teresa Broderick]

I tried keeping a diary when I was young but life was so boring I had nothing to write :)
A friend and I had secret societies too. Great fun.
I too read Anne Frank and felt the same about it as you did. So sad. I started Pepy's diary but found it hard going. Maybe it was the wrong time. I might try it again some day.

[Anne Gracie]

Lovely blog, Christina. I tried as a teen to keep a diary, but never managed it — I was intimidate by diaries with dates, feeling obliged to write something for every date, and as soon as I fell off the wagon, that was pretty much it.

But my writing journal has no such requirement, nor does each one begin in the new year — unless by coincidence. All my journals are the same — a blue, spiral bound, hard cover A5 notebook. My new diary ritual is to find a picture that I glue onto the front cover. So there are no missed dates or blank pages in my journals, as I date each entry when I write in it. And it's less about what I do each date, which isn't terribly exciting, as thoughts about the book I'm working on, and life thoughts in general. Even so, a good friend has promised to come to my house the moment I die and burn those embarrassingly revealing journals.

[Christina Courtenay]

I often feel like that but somehow I always find something to jot down. Secret societies were great fun, weren't they! I'm glad you had them too.

[Christina Courtenay]

Thank you Anne! Your journal sounds fascinating - perhaps you should just put an embargo on them so that someone can read them a hundred years from now? But I sometimes think I'd like to do the same, ask a friend to destroy mine. Haven't made up my mind yet!