Ask a Wench: Moments of Joy

Moments of Joy

By Mary Jo

This has been a difficult year just about everywhere.  A highly contagious virus, a lockdown, massive economic disruptions--I'm told that time travelers are being told to skip 2020 as they travel through time!

Yet people are adaptable, and even in dark times, we can find moments of happiness, some of which are actually a result of the lockdown.  Perhaps something that was once routine is now noteworthy, or we're finding that spending so much time at home is providing unexpected benefits.  The Wenches share some such moments. 

 

 

For me, one such event was something that was once relatively routine: going out to dinner with the Mayhem Consultant.  What made going out this particular time special was because we hadn't been out for dinner in months!  Maryland had been under strict lock down for months, and the governor had just loosened the requirements to allow restaurants to serve food as long as it was outside and staff and guests were masked (at least until the food and drink appeared.)

The restaurant we visited is one we've been to with some regularity over the years.  Great food, something of a special occasion restaurant.  The Oregon Grille is in the country, and they did a lovely job of setting up tables amongst the trees.  We had a perfect table for two looking at trees and a small bridge, and the food and service were wonderful. (The heritage tomato and burrata appetizer, YUM!)  The weather was also perfect--warm and sunny, but not too warm.  I've never enjoyed a meal at that restaurant more. 

Here's Anne from Australia:

I've been in lockdown for most of the year — we did the first one back in March-April, then after restrictions were lifted at the end of June, Melbourne had a spike in numbers, state borders were closed, and the State Government introduced Stage 4 (really strict) lockdown that lasted 112 days. I'm glad to say that has paid off, the numbers have plummeted, and for more than a week now we've had no deaths and no new infections. And the restrictions are being lifted in stages, though the wearing of masks is still compulsory — and most people comply for the sake of the wellbeing of the community.

It's been a time in which we've all had to reflect on what is really important in life, and in which we've learned to appreciate small things, the kind of thing that we wouldn't have thought twice about before this happened. For instance, a friend dropped around with a big bunch of home-grown basil, and we talked for half an hour, with the basil sitting on the bonnet of my car, my friend on the footpath and me in the driveway — and both of us wearing masks. (At that point we weren't allowed visitors in the house.) For me it was a highlight.

Recently, when restrictions had been loosened somewhat, I met with a writing friend — the only one within 5 km (3 miles) of my home (we weren't allowed further) to celebrate my finishing my latest book. We met in a park and sat on either end of a park bench, drinking coffee, nibbling on Portuguese custard tarts and catching up. It was a beautiful day — early spring — and it felt like such a treat to be out and meeting a friend. (The custard tarts were yummy too.)

But one of the things I've really loved is that the neighborhood kids started playing in the street. It's never happened here before — the kids all go to different schools and really didn't know each other. But with Lockdown the schools were closed, and the kids were lonely and started hanging out in the front yard. And making friends. Soon little heads started whizzing back and forth past my front window, as they raced on skates or scooters, playing games, yelling and laughing. They made cubby houses from tents — a veritable tent city appeared regularly across the road where two little girls ruled their domain. They're back at school now, but once school is out they're back playing in the street. It makes me smile every time.

Pat reports in from California: 

Moments of joy during a lockdown—I probably don’t play fair. We live in Southern California where “sunny and seventy” is the catch phrase all year around and “lockdown” doesn’t mean confinement inside. We can enjoy beach walks and outdoor dining anytime. Even the restaurants that didn’t have outside tables before the pandemic have patios now. Cities are allowing them to block off parking spaces, put up patio heaters, planters, and party lights. It’s a little bit like walking the boulevards of Paris with their cafes, and I hope it continues even after the pandemic ends.

But what makes a moment truly special is company, and that’s sadly lacking with social distancing. Our tradition is to celebrate birthdays together as a family, with the birthday person choosing the restaurant and the rest of us buying him/her anything on the menu. But gathering a party of more than four, even in an open-air restaurant, simply isn’t happening these days. So we held our celebration in our backyard, with tables and six feet distancing. With no waiters hovering over us, we had time to talk and laugh, eat carry-out so we needn’t go inside, and share a bottle of wine and birthday pie. It wasn’t gourmet, but that might be the best birthday dinner we’ve ever had.

England calling!

Nicola here. During the first part of Lockdown earlier this year, moments of joy definitely came from being outside in the English spring. We walked for miles with Angus and enjoyed the peace and the beautiful weather. This time around (we’re in the middle of a second lockdown at the moment here in the UK) it’s not quite so sunny and warm. However, there are plenty of small and greater pleasures to enjoy. Reading curled up in front of the fire in the dark evenings is definitely one.

 Some of the greatest moments of joy, however, come from having the dogs around. Last week we were joined permanently by April the Guide Dog Puppy and her interactions with Angus are highly entertaining. He is laid back and very calm. She is over-excitable playful. He indulges her by rolling over to play whilst she jumps around him in a frenzy. I think they could be almost as much fun as a double act as Olive and Mabel, who have been for me the stand out animal stars of Lockdown. If you haven’t already come across their hilarious videos, with the dry commentary of their sports- commentator owner Andrew Cotter, you can find them here! https://www.youtube.com/user/admcotter

Christina also reports in from England:

As a person with definite hermit tendencies even under normal circumstances, lockdown has not felt too irksome for me. I’ve revelled in the fact that I’ve been able to start and finish several projects that have been on the backburner for ages, and I’ve loved the peace and quiet of being out in the countryside without having to visit town very often.

Best of all though has been spending all day every day with my very elderly little dog. He’s just turned 19 and was the oldest of three (the other two having passed away last year) and he’s been sticking to me like glue. I know he hates it when I go away so the knowledge that I didn’t have to leave him at all has been a blessing. I think when dogs get older they need the reassurance of having a human nearby, especially if their sight and hearing is going. He’s so happy when I sit and write or work on craft projects as he doesn’t have to worry about where I’ve gone. I know he won’t be around for much longer, so I’m treasuring every moment.

Susan speaks from Maryland:

In our house, these past several months have certainly been a challenge, but that silver lining is always shining through. I'm not necessarily getting more done in my own work--some aspects of life are more complicated now and taking more time than usual--but overall I'm fine with staying home (being an introverted sort, it suits!). My IT Guy is working from home now, resulting in a minimum of four computers at a time (with full complement of accessories) on the dining room table, which is big enough for all his Stuff.

But we aren't having family gatherings this year, so losing the dining room is no big deal, and it's nice to have him around. Instead of gatherings, we're checking in with family during virtual meetings, and actually seeing them more often--another unexpected benefit of this situation.

One of our sons is a front line doc at a university hospital, so we worry about his safety, and that makes us extra aware and cautious. We check in often, and every now and then on a nice day he'll bring his little family and we'll hang out on the deck. I don't think he'll actually come inside the house until this is all over, but that's OK. We can cope. With every aspect of this, we are pivoting as needed and learning as we go. And we are very lucky to be healthy, all of us, this year. I know many are dealing with much more

People are inherently flexible by nature, and we are all learning in different ways to adjust and still find comfort and things in life to appreciate. Many are finding ways to use the extra time and grow in the best ways, and I'm glad for that opportunity myself. When all this is over, there will be great relief and much reason to celebrate worldwide--though we may always want to wear masks to keep ourselves and others safe, it's a small price to pay. I hope that when this clears, we can all move forward better and kinder, more grateful and more aware, than before. Until then, I wish everyone continued health and safety, unexpected silver linings, and a smooth path through!    

Andrea zooms in from New England:

By nature, I’m a bit of an introvert, and as a writer I’m naturally spending solitary time in the writing—so sheltering in place hasn’t as disruptive to my daily patterns of life as it has for many others. There are far fewer daily distractions, which sort-of creates a bubble of focus, and I’ve myself having time to get into projects that I’d been putting off. So in some ways that’s been a silver lining. And while I have always tried to do a daily walk to clear my mind, and enjoy the details of nature around me, I find these days that I really notice little beauties even more acutely. I listen to the birdsong, I look at the patterns of the fallen leaves on the ground and the rippling of light over the water . . . and take real pleasure from savoring those moments. (I’ve been have great fun capturing what I see with my cell phone camera.)

Another silver lining is making time to Zoom with friends. My college roommates and I have been doing weekly get-togethers just to talk about the little we’re doing, and the we’re reading. And we laugh a lot, which is wonderful. We’ve all remarked on how the pandemic has brought us together much more often. Another silver lining. Of course there are things I miss. I really enjoy mentoring first college students at my alma mater, and taking advantage of the energy and activities—art exhibits, lectures, participating in seminars. But things are shut down this Fall, with most everything done by remote learning.

However, I’ve had one very memorable moment of the "Old Days” which made me insanely happy. The Art Gallery was allowed to open—with timed tickets and limited admission, so a very good friend and I went and saw art, and then had pizza at our favorite restaurant, which had also just opened. Bliss!

Things look like there going to tighten up again for the winter, so we all need to keep being patient and find the little pleasures in our limited worlds to keep balanced and happy. Stay safe and well everyone!

MJP again. As you can see, writers have a built in advantage because most of us are introverts!  But there's no question but that for most of us, these have been challenging times.

How are you doing Have you discovered some unexpected bright spots in these last months?  Please share!

Mary Jo

Comments

[Patricia Franzino]

The online community through live chats has been a great support as we all manage to deal with the virus. We are there for each other.

Many have lost friends and loved ones, so it helps to receive prayers of support.

I have meetup friends that I now talk to through Zoom to keep our connection going.

[Shelagh Merlin]

Hi Mary Jo, I’m in regional Victoria, Australia, where our lockdown conditions have been far less rigorous than Anne has faced in Melbourne. Nonetheless we’ve had periods where our local wineries, pubs and restaurants have been closed, where our churches have been closed and where our local shops have been restricted in how they open. We live in the middle of a chestnut orchard and also have 18 pet alpacas and two dogs. I’m perfectly happy enjoying the orchard and our pets as well as pottering in my garden and since we haven’t been able to travel outside Victoria I’ve had lots more time to appreciate the beauty of our home environment. It’s been wonderful for me though my husband is champing at the bit to get out and see more of the world. I think the nicest thing about the Covid lockdown is that we had to completely rethink the way we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. We’d originally booked an eastern Mediterranean cruise but obviously couldn’t do that. Instead we hired a cabin cruiser and spent seven blissful days floating around the Gippsland Lakes. Surrounded by swans and their cygnets, pelicans, cormorants and a host of other birds as well as beautiful seaside scenery we had a simply wonderful anniversary dinner of pasta and sauce from a bottle wash3d down with some bubbly. Outside the sunset was spectacular and we ho est,y think we lucked out. It was so much more special than sharing the day with hundreds od strangers on a ship.

[Binnie Syril Braunstein]

Mary Jo- I can't unfortunately go for walks. However, I'm thankful for ZOOM sessions with my monthly brunch group and bi-weekly critique group sessions. Joy comes in strange and not so strange places. I love jewelry, and was fortunate enough to discover a highly entertaining daily blog entitled the Court Jeweler, which includes daily accounts of what sparklers the Royals around the world are wearing. Another joy is the joy of reading. I've just had a delightful time with Anne's The Christmas Bride. And I reckon I'll close with critters. My slightly possessed phone keeps me well supplied with entertaining tales (tails) of eager to please dogs and all-knowing cats.

[Mary M.]

Greetings from the now-temperate American southwest, where I'd normally be out in the desert, playing my Native American flutes. But health issues and shelter-in-place have me pinned to the couch with Youtube on my iPad for hours at a time. Loving the cooking shows (Sorted and Chinese Cooking Demystified are two favorites) and animal videos (Djinn the Fennec Fox, Gary the Axolotl, Octolab, and Tiny Kittens, which Sammy the Siamese sometimes watches with me, top my list). I've tried to skip the politics, but can't—it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion these days. Awful, but I can't look away. So despite my inertia, I'm well-entertained and surprisingly unfrustrated.

[Kathy Lynn Emerson]

Such a strange year! I haven’t written anything new except blogs, but I’ve been revising like mad and finally published my A Who’s Who of Tudor Women as an ebook, along with reissuing several children’s books I wrote back in the 1980s. The only downside is that now that those projects are complete I may actually have to think about cleaning my house!

[Maggie Craig]

Enjoyed all these posts.

My silver lining has come from feeling more connected to good friends and relatives I always liked and in re-connecting with folk I haven't been in touch with for quite some time. Sometimes I've reached out and sometimes they have. Now keeping up with an old college friend who's in Austria - I'm in Scotland - and an Indian friend whom I haven't seen for 30 years when she and her family were in Scotland for a time. Our sons were great pals when they were wee boys and through the wonder of social media, they made contact with each other again. They're both now in the US. Their renewed contact led to the two mums getting in touch again.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Zoom is the next best thing to being there. We're lucky that the technology exists to help us through these times.

[Nicola Cornick]

I'm so pleased to hear that the ebook is published, Kathy Lynn. Congratulations! and am heading off to snap that up.

[Annette N]

I have become an introvert. So, I am reading a great deal. And to be honest, I use groups like this one to remind me that I am not the last human in the world.

Y'all and your posts and comments help to remind me that there are people out there.

I do go to the grocery store. I see actual people there. Other than that, because I am a "vulnerable" person, I try to avoid going out in public.

When I see a neighbor, we chat for a time, and we stand at least 6 feet apart. We wave to one another. And there may be smiles but who knows with masks.

I hope everyone is taking care and staying well.

[Teresa Broderick]

Glad to hear everyone is safe and well. We're about four weeks into a six week level 5 lock down for the second time and it's a bit wearing this time round. Our weather is atrocious and it's hard to get out for a walk. Reading keeps me sane and blogs like this one.
We had a family zoom quiz last Saturday night. One daughter is in London and one is in Co. Sligo. Our son, who still lives with us was the quiz master. We had great fun. The second lock down in England only started the week before and my daughter was a bit fed up. She won't be able to come home for Christmas this year.
Enjoyed this blog immensely.

[Anne Gracie]

Shelagh, your time on the Gippsland Lakes sounds lovely — a small but beautiful alternative to a mediterranean cruise. And certainly better than staying at home. Happy anniversary.

[Anne Gracie]

Binnie, I'm so glad you enjoyed my Christmas Bride. Thank you. You are so right about the joys of reading, as well as the delights of animal chuckles. I should have mentioned my Milly-dog, who was my companion through the long months of Lockdown. Books and animals are necessities of life IMO.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Shelagh, isn't it frustrating to get to a point in one's life when there is time and money enough for great traveling--and then you CAN'T?!!!! But the Gippsland trip sounds absolutely lovely. Happy anniversary--and to next year on the Mediterranean!

[Mary Jo Putney]

Native American flutes? Swoon! Sorry you can't do the hiking, but you sound like you're keeping yourself well entertained. I need to to look up Djinn the Fennec Fox and Tine Kittens. *G*

[Mary Jo Putney]

Kathy, NO! Not HOUSECLEANING!!!! Surely you can write a novella or something instead. *g* It sounds like you're being pretty productive; I'm having trouble with with my new books, but backlist stuff is a lot easier.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Maggie Craig, how wonderful that you're connecting around the world! This is one of the blessing of the pandemic--the way we can connect with long lost friends.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Annette, I think the Wenches are important to each other for the same reasons---ways to connect with other people. It's remarkable how a distanced chat with a neighbor can brighten one's whol day.

Keep taking care--

[Mary Jo Putney]

Level 5 lockdown? That sounds horrendous--but necessary to slap down the virus. Zoom quizzing sounds great fun, but my sympathies to your daughter on having to miss Christmas. Family gathering holidays are so lovely, and so hard to miss.

[Kareni]

Two silver linings ~

I left my then book group when I moved in 2002. Another member and I were invited back as they are now meeting on Zoom.

Also, my old college roommate contacted me. I've sent holiday cards for thirty odd years, but I only hear from her every five or ten years. We've emailed back and forth a few times, and I've enjoyed that.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Kareni, connection with old and distant friends is one of the recurring themes of life in a pandemic, and it's a very positive one. I've zoomed with some friends, and my brother and sister and I have been doing regular monthly zoom calls just to chat. We all get along fine, but in normal life it was easy to let contact slide. Now we're making the time and enjoying it.

[Binnie Syril Braunstein]

Mary Jo -

One more bit of joy I forgot to mention. I was flipping TV channels this past Sunday and happened on PBS (public broadcasting) showing the glorious 25th anniversary concert version of Les Miserables. I just sat there in awe. I'm still hearing the echoes of "I dreamed a dream" and "One day more." Sigh...

[Maggie Craig]

Indeed! We're all book lovers too. Toying with the idea of starting up an international online reading group!

[Mary Jo Putney]

How perfect for an opera lover, Binnie!

[Mary Jo Putney]

Go for it, Maggie! There will never be a better time than now, when so many of us our living on our computers.