AAW—In Which We Muse on Silver Linings

With the weeks turning into months as we navigate the uncertain road of coping with Covid 19, we thought we all use a little brightness, so in this month's Ask A Wench feature, the Wenches are are answering this question about silver linings within the dark clouds: “With the stresses of shelter-in-place, is there any silver lining you've found—time to do a craft you’ve always loved but hadn't had time for; rediscovered music or a genre of a book, found pleasure in cooking or baking, etc, or in taking walks in nature? Share the unexpected pleasures you have discovered.”

Anne: Lockdown hasn't made a huge difference in my daily life -- I work from home anyway, and I can still walk my dog. I have hermitish tendencies and I'm not really a social gadabout. Catching up with friends for dinner or a movie has been replaced by phone calls, and zoom get-togethers -- in fact I probably have more contact with friends than normal, as it's logistically easier to organize. We even had our first-ever wenchly zoom get together, though the time differences made it tricky.

My neighborhood has changed though. Apart from there being less traffic, something has happened that I hadn't realized was missing -- the kids are out, playing in the street. When I was a kid, all the kids in the street knew each other and played together. In all the years I've lived in this house, I never saw it happen here. Kids played in their own house, or watched TV or whatever — I don't know. I rarely saw them. But now, they're out every day, playing and laughing. They whizz past on roller skates or scooters, they boing around on pogo sticks, they race up and down. Kids who never played together -- they attend different schools -- now meet up every morning and play outside all day. Over the road two little girls set up their play area every day on the strip of grass in front of the house. There are "picnics" and dress ups, and all sorts, and we have a growing tent city that a patient dad packs up every night. 
These friendships are a lovely development that I hope continues long after lockdown is lifted.

Christina: For me it’s not really a case of having rediscovered something I like doing, it’s more that I have had the time to indulge in projects whole-heartedly. I’ve been doing genealogy for years, which meant I had masses of piles of old papers, notes and folders, as well as out of date family trees. This all needed sorting out but whenever I started in the past, I was always interrupted and lost the momentum. Not this time! After four weeks of sorting, cataloguing, throwing things away and entering data on my computer, as well as scanning photos and documents, I now have a very tidy row of folders. And best of all, I can almost always find exactly the piece of information I’m looking for because it’s in the right place – that is incredibly satisfying! Another consequence of this is that my office/workspace looks tidy too – I can see the whole carpet, I can close the cupboard doors, and I can actually sit and write at my desk (it’s been too messy to fit my laptop on there before). So although I’ll never agree with Marie Kondo (I prefer organized clutter to half-empty shelves), I feel a sense of achievement. And now I can go into that room without flinching or feeling guilty every time – result!

Pat: Since I work at home, I’m not doing a great deal differently than before. I’ve always taken pleasure in my garden. There are only two of us, so baking probably isn’t wise, although I’ve been doing more for reasons known only to my subconscious. I’m not sure adding pounds is a hidden pleasure. <G> We’ve always walked several miles a day, although now those walks are limited to the surrounding neighborhoods because the state has closed all the hiking trails and beaches. So the only unexpected pleasure that I’ve learned over these past months is how to use Zoom to connect with distant friends, like the wenches, and with my tutoring students. I would still much rather see them in person, but it’s lovely to know we can reach out to friends and families without actually getting on an airplane!

Mary Jo: I'd like to say that I have used this extra time to completely clean and organize my office.  
 I haven't.
 Or to try new recipes and find new delicious delights.
 I haven't.
Or take up a satisfying new hobby, such as drawing, which I enjoyed in my art school days.
 I haven't.

What I have done is relax.  For the last two years, I've been pretty much constantly stressed, partly from deadlines, partly for other reasons.  Now, finally, outside pressure is much diminished.  I'm sleeping a little later, knocking off work a little earlier.  
With all the difficulties people are suffering worldwide, my problems look very minor.  I continue to work, mostly on backlist projects I haven't had time for. Audiobooks, preparing stories for indie release, which means playing with covers and that sort of thing. Not as rigorous as writing a new book (though I'm starting to do that--the deadline is not infinitely far off!), but work that I've wanted to do, and now I can.
Though I'd like say long walks in nature were happening, it's been pretty cold and wet in Maryland. But the spring flowers are doing their thing, and they're glorious, like this tree peony beside my garage. It has a lovely delicate scent, so literally, I'm taking the time to smell the flowers!  And to enjoy the company of the Mayhem consultant and the cats. <G>  
Life will become busy and stressful again, but for now, I'm sending best wishes to all in the Wench community, and hoping you can find pleasure in small things.

Andrea: When it became clear that things would be shutting down and we would all be sheltering in place, I had high hopes of immaculately arranged closets, neat drawers, and most of all, getting the myriad books that are still packing boxes finally shelved in my workroom. Ha! In my defense, getting the books liberated required shelves . . . and shelves required a store to be open.

So what's my excuse for the still-untouched closets and drawers? Writing! Authors tend to self isolate anyway, so this period hasn't been all that different. However, the limited distractions (I'm easily distracted) has allowed me to work on a book project that I've been wanting to tackle for years. It's way out of my comfort zone, and I never felt ready to try. But this quiet time encouraged me to start. I'm really loving the challenge . . .we'll see where it goes—I'm not ready to talk about it yet—but whatever happens, it makes me happy that I've dared to try it.

I've also been been taking extra time to look at all the little beauties in Nature during my daily plotting walk. I  always love the outdoors, but in this stressful time, being mindful of simple wonders makes me smile. And another wonderful thing is reconnecting even more with best friends. My college roommates and I have stayed close over the years, and we've started a weekly ritual of a Saturday Zoom chat. We just share little things and lots of laughs. All of us have loved being able to gab together, and I think we'll keep it up even when things get back to the new "normal."

Jo: I miss socializing more than I expected.
I’ll glance at the calendar and think “Oh. It’s Monday I’d better get ready to –”  and then realize I won’t be going to the café to write and drink coffee. I won’t walk by the river with a dog and a buddy. No lunch at the Mexican place. No dropping over to a friend’s house to chat and nibble on her baked goods.
It really sucks.
 
But I got sunshine and birds and I’m spending time usefully employed with my flowers.
 
I go out and stand over the pots where I tossed a bunch of seeds. I tell them it’s time they got a move on. “Germinate, dang you! It’s been FOUR DAYS,” or "I don't care if you've just been transplanted. Deal with it." I make invidious comparisons. “Look. See those roses. Why can’t you be more like the roses?”
 
If my plants were people they’d all need therapy before they got to college.
 
It occurs to me that maybe I shouldn’t talk to my plants.

Susan: I'm an introverted writer married to an introverted IT Guy, and now we're both working from home in Upstairs-Downstairs fashion (I, of course, am Upstairs) -- and it's a good fit for both of us, so we aren't experiencing much change in that sense. Communicating with family and the outside world is different, though, isn't it. We don't go out much on errands, we have groceries and pizza delivered, we Zoom with family, and I'm cooking a lot more (er, not high on my list of fun things to do—but here's a photo of an amazing broccoli and potato soup that I made). So far our family has been healthy, though two of our sons are medical professionals, with one in PPE on the front line at a major university hospital. Because of that, we keep aware and informed. 

Yet with more time at home, I'm getting to things I've been wanting to do--finally moving my home office from one bedroom to another (it's bigger and has a nice view of the backyard), a big job I kept putting off. I'm watching a little more TV, knitting while I'm doing that, sorting things in boxes and closets, getting outside to work in the yard more, and finding more time to walk around our quiet neighborhood. We are keeping in closer touch with our sons—we text, call, and zoom more often now than we did when life was so normal no one thought much about it. Time seems to have slowed down. What's important in life is becoming clarified and we're seeing what we can do without. I think when we emerge from this, whatever has happened in our lives, we will all see some kind of silver lining from this experience. But I hope it ends soon! 

So what about you! What silver linings have you been discovering during these stressful times? Please share!

Comments

[Mary Jo Putney]

We're all living in Interesting Times, aren't we? Years from now, when there's a New Normal, we'll look back on this as a unique time--and we'll remember how different a time it was, but yes, with silver linings.

[Andrea Penrose]

SO true! I keep reminding myself that past generations have faced daunting times—the Great Depression, the World Wars—and came out facing very different worlds than before. History is always in flux. I like believe we'll adapt, keep finding silver linings, and somehow cobble together a New Normal that will let us keep moving forward.

[Sue McCormick]

Not much has changed in this household, Both of us are retired, and we didn't have much social live. We miss going out to eat, but do order in. I miss shopping, but Bob still does that for us. And I miss family visits. We we have e-mail, face-book, and the telephone.

I am progressing with downsizing our phyical book collection, but that would have happened anyway.

[Andrea Penrose]

Sue, I miss going out to dinner, too, and getting together with family and friends.

[Kay]

I started cleaning projects, but became distracted by cat videos. I decided to try some bread recipes. But because there are only two in the household that became a problem. You see, the bread was very good, especially when slathered in Irish Butter! So, then I took guilt-trip walks around the neighborhood, and made friends with a tailless black squirrel. This week I returned to work. That's a little unsettling. We are maintaining our distance, wearing masks and gloves, washing hands...all that stuff. I thought I missed work when I was off, but now I miss my squirrel.

[Andrea Penrose]

LOL, Kay! I feel the same way about baking bread . . . So good, especially with butter. Thank heavens for elastic waistbands in sweatpants. Hey—you could solve the problem by feeding the squirrel with bread! I'm sure there would be no complaints!

Stay safe!

[Kareni]

Even without COVID-19 we'd have spent most of April indoors as my husband had cancer surgery early in the month and then another surprise surgery two weeks later; fortunately his healing has gone well and his prognosis is good.

What I've missed most over the past eight weeks is going to Mah-jongg, meeting my book group in person, attending a monthly art gathering, and meandering around a thrift store. A silver lining is taking a walk two or three times a day around the neighborhood with my husband and chatting about nothing in particular.

[Kareni]

A question ~ I sent in an AAW on March 29. Is it possible to know if it's been received?

[Anne Gracie]

Hi Kareni -- yes, your question has been received. I'm sorry if you didn't get an acknowledgement. Thanks for sending it in. As to getting it answered, that's up to an individual wench deciding to use it as a blog topic, in which case you will win a book from that wench. Otherwise, if it's a short answer kind of question (which yours isn't) it might be used for Ask-A-Wench.

[Anne Gracie]

Kareni, I'm glad to hear your husband is recovering. I miss my Canasta group -- which started off as a mah-jongg group. These days the only mah-jongg I play is on line, and it's a pair matching game for one person. It's called Flah-Jong.
http://1onlineplay.com/Fla-Jong-mahjong-find-pair-online-game.shtml

[Andrea Penrose]

Kareni, so glad your husband is recovering. The walks sound lovely.

I miss gathering with my friends, museum visits, my book club. All the little connections that add a smile to the everyday routines.

[Christina Courtenay]

I'm trying NOT to bake bread (or anything else) because once you've made it, you can't not eat it! Too tempting :-)

[Patricia Franzino]

I'm having more time to think about what to throw out, what to replace that is a better container to organize stuff in the bathroom. I found a collapsible cloth covered cardboard container (oh, what an alliteration) that works great under the sink.

[Kareni]

Thank you, Anne, that's good to know.

[Kareni]

Thank you for the kind words, Andrea and Anne.

I hope that someday in the not too distant future we can enjoy those in person gatherings again.

[Mary M.]

I finally got around to hiring an organizer to deal with my 60 adult years of stuff (I waited too long, physically can't do it myself now). One of the first things she turned up was an N95 mask. I have no idea why it's here, but its sudden surfacing is timely.

[Andrea Penrose]

Patricia, it really does feel good to organize and clean out spaces, doesn't it? I managed to get the cabinets beneath the counter in my writing room all straightened oyt, and that really make me happy. Alas, there is a LOT more things I could be tackling . . .

[Andrea Penrose]

Me, too!

[Andrea Penrose]

Wow, talk about cosmic coincidences. It's it amazing what cleaning out piles of accumulated stuff uncovers! When I do it, there are always surprises—some of them great fun, and some of them in the "what in the world possessed me to keep this" category!

[Teresa Broderick]

I was just getting used to a life where I had time to myself. Having looked after my mother for years and been a carer for my daughter for the last ten years, things finally changed and I was enjoying life for the first time in many years.
Then bang, this happened. I miss seeing my brothers. We are quite a close family and it's never been this long since we've met up.
I can see the sense of what's happening but it isn't easy.

[Margot]

For us who have been retired life probably has not changed quite as much. I still do not get much done that I really should do - going thru belongings, spring cleaning and more. I do miss getting together with my support group (grief support group) We all miss being able to give each other a hug when we meet and depart. When you are home alone and have no one to share this time with it is harder to lose the little contact you had.
The good things are that I am reading so many books. The library is closed so I am now getting to the pile of books I have here at home and they are so good. What a great excuse to just read - after all we are not to go meet with others. I shop once every three weeks. I am lucky not to worry about a job and finances. I do worry about my family who are affected by loss of jobs. We had several family members come down with the virus and all have recovered. I was a nurse in my younger years and totally understand the hard work the medical folk are going thru. My family are scattered around the world so letter writing has been my strong suit and now it is even more so.
Stay well and safe one and all

[Annette N]

I lost my sister just the week before we went into prison - I mean stay home and be safe. I did not do much until about a week ago. Had trouble even getting up in the morning. But, I now have given myself a plan.

I will do at least one actual task every day. Most of them will be things I have either thought about or wanted to do. Now I will be getting some things done.

Most recently, I have worked on the plants on my patio. Repotting, starting cuttings, feeding, etc. They will make me happy shortly. I have a salvia which is drawing bees and butterflies.

I have decided. It's all good.

But, I too am an introvert. I am a book addict. I read a lot. So, overall, now that I am in a better place, things will be pretty much the same ol' same ol'.

[Andrea Penrose]

Oh, hugs, Teresa. This pandemic has hurt so many lives. I really sympathize with your not being able to see your brothers. Family is so important in times of stress, and not being able to connect in person makes this particular threat even more scary.

Take care!

[Andrea Penrose]

Margot, so sorry about missing your group. having friends to hug is something we all miss dearly. But glad you have books to bring you joy. I don't know what I would do without reading.

Hopefully we will slowly begin to be able to see family and friends on a small scale. I hope so!

[Andrea Penrose]

Annette, what aterrible time you've had. Really rough emotionally, but I'm glad you've given yourself a plan and purpose to each day, which really helps one regain optimism. Works with plants, which will soon bloom is a perfect metaphor for the future.

And so glad reading is giving you pleasure. May things keep getting better!

[Kareni]

Annette, my sympathies on the death of your sister. I hope that memories of time spent together will bring you some comfort in this challenging time.