It's That Day Again. Valentines!

Joanna here, with the Wenches, talking Valentines Day and Romance and the cool things that mean love to us.

It's not always what you'd expect.

Anne, being both down-to-earth and so, so right, says:

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day. It only became popular in Australia after I was an adult, and it felt very commercial. I'm much more in favor of unscheduled expressions of love -- a spontaneous gift of chocolates or flowers or something else, a romantic dinner (where you're not jostling in a restaurant with a hundred other couples trying to look romantic), a romantic night in at any time of year, a love-letter that arrives randomly. Even a job that needs doing that's been put off for a while can be

Flowers. Oh yes

romantic -- in the right context. And words of love need to be spontaneous, not scheduled according to the calendar.

 

And while I love love love roses, I don't love the ones they sell for Valentine's. Beautiful, perfect-looking red roses -- without scent. To me that's a bit like a declaration of love without the emotion. I'd much rather a slightly raggedy bunch of roses from the garden, imperfect, but with a glorious scent. Or even not-roses. I have a friend who often arrives for a visit bearing a bunch of flowers from her garden -- one or two of each kind, nothing matching or "designer" but so vibrant and pretty and with a lovely meld of fragrances.

 

 

Pat gives us a lovely view of a warm holiday:

For a romance writer, I'm not very much into schmaltz or commercial holidays. I adored the sticky messy cards my children drew for me in grade school simply because they so much reflected their individual personalities and made me smile and cry at the same time.

But Valentine's Day is also my wedding anniversary, and that's worth celebrating. Our tradition is pretty simple, though. We pick out cards (usually e-cards we can adapt in our own words). My husband usually brings me lovely flowers, because it was always gray gloomy winter for most of our years, and he knows how much I love a bright bouquet to fight off gloom. And then we go out for an extravagant meal in a quiet restaurant we wouldn't normally go to.

Really, it's all about being together with the ones you love, isn't it? And that can be any time for any reason.

 

Andrea is not necessarily a fan of the commercial:

And isn't this a cool Valentine

As one whose teeth is often set on edge by all the “canned” commercial holly-jolly of the really traditional holidays, it’s no surprise that I’m not a big fan of manufactured holidays. It feels a little silly to feel compelled to buy a fancy gift and make reservations at some, swanky expensive—and likely overcrowded—restaurant, simply because of a date on a calendar.

For me, gestures of love are all about the little things—the smaller and more spontaneous, the better . . . Getting a surprise brownie when I’ve mentioned to a friend that I’m feeling a little down . . . An impromptu invitation to take a walk holding hands on a beautiful sunny day.

Huge bouquets of red rose or big boxes of fancy chocolates don’t make my heart go pitty-pat. (well, okay—maybe I’m fibbing about the chocolate!) It’s the off-beat things that I cherish. One of my favorites is a small heart-shaped rock inscribed with colorful circles that I received for no apparent reason at all! Fluttery sigh.   

 

Nicola has a very Romantic story to tell:

I got engaged on Valentine’s Day 32 years ago. In those days it wasn’t really the commercial

That special Valentines trip

festival it is now but was a lot more low key. One of the things that I remember about the occasion was that that my now-husband was so nervous when it came to proposing that he couldn’t get the words out!

Since that day so long ago, we have gone on a trip each Valentine’s Day to celebrate our engagement. This has not always been easy – bad weather, hospital stays and various other life events have intervened to throw obstacles in the way but we have always managed to do something every year even if it has just been a quiet dinner for two somewhere. In the process we’ve stayed in so many gorgeous places and discovered historical gems to visit across England, Scotland and Wales. It’s a fabulous tradition and I hope we can continue it until we fall off our joint twig!

 

The cat in the earrings

Mary Jo passes along a story from a friend:

One of the sweetest Valentine's story I know is from many years ago when a close college friend was dating a girl who really made him light up with happiness. Valentine's Day was coming so he bought her a large stuffed animal to cuddle. He also bought her a pair of earrings because giving jewelry is always a romantic gesture.

Then he thought why not combine the gifts? So the stuffed cat wore earrings. His sweetheart carried that critter through their whole date. And yes--Reader, he married her!

(The picture is a reenactment since this happened long before the era of easy smart phone cameras. <G>)

 

Susan brings us hearts, harts, hearts:

When my three boys were little guys, they gave me assorted hearts for Valentine's Day--small

The collective noun for hearts is ...

wooden ones painted in a preschool class, Play-Doh hearts rolled and mushed and left to dry, paper cut-out hearts glued to doilies, hearts in crayon on paper ...

I've kept lots of these, stashed away in boxes of things that I keep for each son (should they ever want them, which is looking doubtful!). Sometimes the little guys would troop out with their Dad to buy a card and a big box of chocolates (that they soon scarfed up), and they'd also help him pick out heart-shaped jewelry.

I've got quite a collection of heart-shaped necklaces and earrings by now -- here are just a few of them. Each one holds a memory that I'll keep forever, even if the chocolates lasted about five minutes in this house! Happy Valentine's to all!

 

And for me, Joanna ...

I love seasonal things. The candles of the Solstice. The first snowdrop. Fireworks. Pumpkins. Maiwein. The August Moon Viewing.

My best Valentines Days have included clumsy, schoolmade Valentines of red construction paper and frilly white doilies with LOTS of school glue slathered on. Glitter optional.

I also have a fondness for origami hearts. They delight me beyond measure.

But most of all, I love the dorky heart-shaped candies with little slogans on them. "Kiss Me," "Hug Me Tight, "Be Mine."

 

So, what moves your heart today, Valentines Day?
What custom? What memory? What gift?

 

Comments

[Janice]

I never had much joy from Valentine's Day. In school I was one of the kids that gave out more valentines than they received. Later on I had boyfriends who wouldn't remember Valentine's Day or didn't think it was important, and while all the other girls were showing off their Valentine trophies, I had nothing. All those are small slights long ago and they don't really hurt me anymore, but I understand why people think Valentine's Day is important. Men seem to feel that it's like Christmas or birthdays or anniversaries in that acknowledgement and affection are being extorted from them, but I think it is a day to show how much is due to people we care for, be they lovers or friends or family, and how much they do mean to us. And I think it ought to be done.

[theo]

Hubs left for work at 5am. We said Happy Valentine's Day, I kissed him goodbye and that's pretty much it for us. We never really did anything for each other, just not our style. We don't do Christmas either and more often than not, birthdays don't see gifts. We've been married so long, there isn't anything we 'need' but acknowledging the holiday/birthday/special occasion means more to us, I think, anyway.

I read an interesting article on the Spittalfield's Life blog this morning about Valentine coins. I had no idea, but they're very cool!

[Quantum]

I think that a poem expressing love can be appreciated far more than roses or chocs.

I may not write immortal verse and am no competition for Wordsworth or Coleridge, but here is my feeble Valentines offering to the wenches and readers 😊

If music be the food of love.
Then poetry is the sauce.
As romance flourishes this day.
I think of books and long to play.
I love my books,I love their writers.
Dream like I wander
Through all of their titles
Selecting the next read
Ah what a choice.
Shall it be Putney or Gracie or Rice
Whoever I choose, a Wench it shall be.
For romance is in the air.

[Sue McCormick]

I LOVE Quantum's poem!

I have never cared for Valentine's Day. It never felt very real to me. I DID enjoy making homemade valentines in my school days and also with mty children for their school days. But other than that, it's just another day for us.

Other than Christmas, Birthdays, and our Anniversaies, my husband and I are much more into the spontaneous expressions of love than in the nationally recognized days. And those recognized days are mostly used as the target time for getting some practical item we've been saving for: new computer, new appliance, and so on. We're going to get those anyway, but we target them to the special days.

[Pamela DG]

My husband is a flower boy. As much as I hate dying flowers that I have to compost later in the week, I'll be getting a gorgeous bouquet and I'll love it. I'd be ecstatic if he brings me iris rhizomes or forced tulip bulbs I can plant in the spring. He's been getting better surprising me with a mug or a stuffed animal which I do adore. He'll never top the boxes of kittens he rescued and brought to me in banana boxes. We've been married twenty years.

[Misti]

My mom used to bake and decorate over 100 heart shaped sugar cookies for each of my (and my 3 other siblings) classmates with their names written on them in frosting. Of course, that was back in the day when you could take baked goods to school. That was definitely a labor of love and a really good memory.
Now days since I'm single, I don't celebrate the day but I have no problems buying myself flowers whenever I want them and chocolate on sale is never a bad thing!

[Anne Gracie]

Oh, Quantum — wow, what a gorgeous poem. Thank you so much.
In response, I just dashed off this one — and you will see that at the end I lost it somewhat and gave way to Aussie vulgarity, but you try to find a rhyme for "readers" at 8am

The wenches all
On Valentine's
Send love to you, our readers.
Your witty, wise
And thoughtful posts
Make us happy little bleeders

[Anne Gracie]

Pamela, he's a keeper all right. Flowers are always lovely to receive, aren't they? I love the idea of the rhizomes and bulbs, too. And kittens? Extra special.

[Anne Gracie]

Misti, what a wonderful thing for your mom to do. I'm impressed. Can you not take baked goods to schools any more? That's so sad. I don't think it's the case here. And yes, treat yourself to some lovely flowers and some chocolate.

[Joanne Bourne]

I love the idea of Valentines Day being for all the people and animals (and things and places?) one loves. A time to acknowledge all the possible bonds of affection.

I want to give a Valentine to my favorite National Parks, for instance.

[Joanne Bourne]

This might be the Valentine's Day coins Theo is talking about. Fascinating.

https://spitalfieldslife.com/2015/02/11/love-tokens-from-the-thames/

[Joanne Bourne]

This is so lovely and practical and, really, such laid-back and comfortable love.

It's the --
"Let me give you your cup of tea (coffee) fixed just exactly the way you want it and served at the right temperature in your favorite cup
-- kinda of lovin'
that means as much as cakes and balloons
and lasts such a long time.

[Joanne Bourne]

I would argue that flowers are always the perfect gift to oneself.

[Joanne Bourne]

I have never received a box of kittens as a gift, alas.

My sister used to regularly be gifted with abandoned kitties from truck stops all over the country by her big, tough, ex-SP, trucker husband who was a sucker for the soft meow.

[Joanne Bourne]

This is just LOVELY!

(still giggling)

[Patricia Rice]

Yes, the hurt is real when you're a child. I hope they're not doing that in schools anymore. Today should be a day of joy, not misery!

[Patricia Rice]

Voilet, I love it!!! ;)

[Patricia Rice]

LOL, Quantum and Anne, you're both too creative for me today! Thank you for not rhyming my name with Vice.

[theo]

Yes, Joanne, that was it. I found it very intriguing. I really never knew about them but it's got a kind of bittersweet feel to it too. What if some of those were tossed to commemorate a love who had died? Or for an unrequited love? I know, maudlin, but my imagination wanders.

[theo]

I must have been a reading fool today because on one of the sites I follow, a woman had mentioned that she'd kept every petal from every flower her husband had bought for her. She dried them and uses them in things around the house. She has a birdcage filled with the petals and she can still smell them years later when she walks by. I thought that was a lovely idea.

[Andrea Penrose]

I'm with you on all that.
School Valentine cards could be terrible for the kids who didn't fit. It always struck as not nice

[Andrea Penrose]

How very cool, Theo . Thanks for mentioning them!

[Andrea Penrose]

Oh, fluttery sigh, Quantum! You've just make the "Keeper" list of romantic presents!

Thank you so much!

[Andrea Penrose]

He sounds like a real keeper, Pamela!

I love the kittens in banana boxes!

[Andrea Penrose]

What a wonderful story about your Mother. Truly a labor of Love!

And I totally agree with the idea of being good to yourself with chocolate!

[Mary Jo Putney]

Quantum, you get a HUGE sparkly gold heart for this! So sweet. Thank you.

[Joanne Bourne]

Or tossed into the water as a thank you to the little gods of the river for happy and successful love ...

That's a happier thought.

[Quantum]

Anne, I'm impressed!
I will now think of you as the Wenchly breakfast poet.

For some reason your ending made me think of cricketing googlies where Aussies have excelled.*G*
(Shane Warn and Richie Benaud to name but two).

[Anne Gracie]

Doggerel before breakfast? A scary thought.
Don't encourage me. LOL
Happy to take the googly analogy — was raised on cricket, and yes, it did veer off at the end.

[Margot]

Valentine's day is over now. I did not grow up celebrating it but my husband always gave me a card or something special that day as it was important in his life. I did the same for him for that reason for all our 37 years together.
This year as in the last 4, I miss that little token gift as he has been gone all those years. I have other widow and widower friends for whom this day is a struggle to get past. Just another couple/love celebration that we no longer have. We now support each other as good friends do and that helps.

[Kareni]

Good friends are a wonderful gift, Margot. I definitely value mine.

[Joanne Bourne]

I know how you feel. It's a bittersweet day in a lot of ways.

But remembering is good, and it's a day to remember the very best of times.