AAW-Wenchly Secrets for Holiday De-Stressing!

Andrea here, This month our AAW question has to do with stress and the holidays—something I think we all can relate to! So the Wenches are sharing their secrets for dealing with this universal question: With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, things can sometimes get overwhelming, What do you do to de-stress? Any special ritual or routine that recharges and relaxes? Read on for the answers!

Anne: The holidays here come in summer, so it's important to keep cool as well as stay cool. We don't have Thanksgiving in Australia, only Christmas and New Year, but December is the end of the school and university academic year and the beginning of most people's annual holidays, so there are lots of "end-of-year" events and celebrations. Four weeks annual leave is standard here and many people head for the beach. So between finishing up school, the frenzy of Christmas shopping, closely followed by the new year sales, and trying to balance family commitments with packing for the holidays, it can get a bit hectic. I make sure I schedule time for me. I like to retreat to the garden with a long cool drink and a book, and just sit and read and listen to the birds.  I'd rather say no to a few things and have some quiet time in between. Makes for a happier me, which in turns makes me a more pleasant guest or hostess.

 

I like to put some decorations up for Christmas, but I don't go over the top as I used to. These days my decoration efforts are quite minimal and often home-made. I love it when the house is clean and serene and has a few little Christmassy touches — and the scent of pine. The photo is of a naturally occurring Christmas bauble in the garden — a hakea, an Australian native bush. I find the frenzy of shopping and the accumulation of "stuff" to be unnecessary, so I also like to make some home-made gifts — edible, usually.  I've learned not to be perfectionist about things. That can be a problem for me — I have a tendency to want everything to be just so, but over the last few years I've tried to stop thinking that way. The important thing is to relax and enjoy myself and help others to enjoy the season. Things don't have to be perfect to be enjoyable.

Pat: Sorry, I’m allergic to stress. Outside life may occasionally impose the anxiety monster on me, but I refuse to stress myself. Back when the kids were little, I enjoyed hunting for and decorating enormous Christmas trees. I didn’t love driving five hours in snow to visit both sides of the family—but I had no control over that. So now that the kids are grown and my husband is retired, we stay in our sunny home on the holidays. Instant stress reliever! I love cooking holiday dinners and having family and friends over. Planning a meal for meat-lovers, vegetarians, and vegans is an interesting challenge, but everyone contributes what they can, and if we burn something or the turkey doesn’t cook (happened), we laugh and still enjoy ourselves. So sun and warmth, good company and good food are my stress relief.

Nicola: We don’t have Thanksgiving in the UK but Christmas preparations seem to gallop towards us at this time of year, plus half the members of my husband’s family have their birthdays in November and December so it’s a pretty busy time! I love the bustle and the family get-togethers and the twinkling approach of Christmas but it can all get a bit too much sometimes so my go to relaxation is what I’m doing right now – a trip to the seaside with the dog so we can all get some knockout sea air and lots of exercise and refreshment. It only takes a couple of hours to get to the seaside from where we live, so we’re very lucky. 

If there isn’t enough time to drive to the coast, I’ll get my nature fix on a walk near my home. The fresh air and beautiful scenery never ceases to soothe any stress and help me recharge, ready for the next round! At the end of the busy times there’s also the open fire and a good book – and a long bath with Dr Salts Eucalyptus Dead Sea Bath Salts which are just wonderful!

Mary Jo: Many wonderful and colorful things surround Christmas--enough to make even extroverts wish for a time out, and few writers are extroverts. <G>  Luckily, I can pretty much pick and choose how much I want to do.  I love Christmas trees and Christmas music, which includes everything from a wonderful holiday concert we've been attending for--maybe 25 years?  Plus hauling out the holiday music  CDs--many of mine are folk music instrumental renditions.  

Food is important, obviously!  Seasonal specialties are a pleasure, and pumpkin pie is happily relevant through the whole period.  There are gatherings with both families, and I try to get together with various friends over the holiday season.  There's also a Christmas Eve service as a reminder of what it's all about.  And at least one favorite Christmas movie like The Holiday.

Luckily, I have plenty of time for my introvert solitude.  I can always rendezvous with my bathtub full of deliciously scented water, and it also has great reading light above because there's always a book or seven near at hand.   A classic Christmas story I read every year is Trisha Ashley's Twelve Days of Christmas. (Thank you, Anne Gracie, for telling the Wenches about this great book!  The e-edition is a mere $3.99 in the US.) There is much pleasure to be had in the season--and I'm generally ready for Christmas to be over by the beginning of January. <G>

Jo: When I can't face the dreadful realities -- this happens more often than one would think -- and yet it's not quite at DEFCON 1 where I go curl into a ball under the covers and put a pillow up top of my head, I take a bath.

Yes. When the going gets tough, the tough take a long, soaky bath.

There are several indulgences in this life that are neither illegal, immoral, nor fattening. Reading books is one. Getting into a very large, very hot, bath is another. I like to do both simultaneously because i am efficient that way.

My house has a 1940s, pre-water-saving tub which would accommodate two lean and athletic young people doing whatever to folks in a bathtub would get up to and certainly holds a less adventurous me with space left over.

I do not need bubble bath or scented oils, rubber duckies or those strange fizzy balls you can toss in that froth all over the place and don't seem exactly relaxing somehow. I feel about a good bath the way some folks feel about Belgian chocolate. It is, in its mystical simplicity, a perfection that needs no embellishment.

Andrea: Getting together with family and friends in quiet celebration of the spirit of the season is always a joy. But I have to confess that the frenetic commercial hoopla around the holidays gives me the heebie-jeebies at times (where I am, there are already evergreen wreaths and Xmas trees appearing, along with screaming ads for holiday gift deals!) And because editors look to clear their desks for the new year, it’s often a time when revisions come flying back on Xmas Eve with a note that they are due on Jan 2. (Yes, this has happened, and —cough, cough—even though I turned in my current book on time, I fear the same thing might happen this year.)

SO, I may need some quiet de-stressing time. Another confession—that usually involves chocolate. One of my go-way to unwind is to bake a batch of chocolate chip blondies, light a candle under a scent diffuser filled Neal’s Dockyard calming mix, get under my fluffy down comforter in the evening and escape from stress with a good book, aromatherapy and a humongous wedge of sweets. Amazing what it does for the spirits! (It’s a good thing I love to take long walks!)

So, those are our ways of coping! What about you? When things get a little crazy during the holidays, what are your favorite ways to de-stress. Please share!

Comments

[Sonya Heaney]

Try being Ukrainian and following the Julian calendar! I have two Christmases and New Years (and Easters, for that matter!) a year. We do it all twice - just with a different language and different foods! Most of my family have birthdays in (Australian) summer, too, so coming up with present ideas gets a bit hard ...

I don't de-stress. We just keep going. :)

[Mary T]

For many, many years I held the family Christmas party on Christmas Eve. It was a LOT of work, but I enjoyed it all. The decorating, planning and preparing all the dishes. There must have been times when I was stressed, but I don't remember them - I just remember the excitement and fun.

I especially loved the shopping. My budget was limited, so it was a challange to find something for each person that I could afford and they would still appreciate. I think I did pretty good. Nowadays I shop on-line and I am grateful that I am able to do that. But it is just not the same as walking through the stores and handling the merchandise. I miss it.

[Sue McCormick]

I don't stress anymore. My older daughter will be here for Christmas, and we plan on getting together with her brother's family. We will have a relaxed meal and some good visiting time.

[Andrea Penrose]

TWO Xmases and New Year's celebrations! That's not stress, that's exhaustion! But fun.

[Andrea Penrose]

Mary, it sounds like you created a very special evening for yoyr family every Christmas. I'm not a big shopper, but I know what you mean about actually getting to touch and feel a gift you want to choose for someone special. Online is very convenient, and you find some quirky things that would be difficult to find anywhere else. But still, you right in that it's not quite the same.

[Andrea Penrose]

That's exactly what the spirit of the holidays should be—family and friends enjoying each other's company. Sounds like a perfect plan!

[Kathy N]

I find going for a walk in nature to be very helpful coping with stress.

[Andrea Penrose]

Kathy, walks are essential for me, too. I find after a day of writing, just by taking a walk, I can usually unravel any plot points I've been struggling with. The brain just clicks into a different gear.

[theo]

I do two November birthdays, Thanksgiving, one December birthday, Christmas Eve, Christmas breakfast and Christmas day.

Whisky. Lots of whisky. And a roaring fire to sip it in front of...

[Andrea Penrose]

Theo, I'm there with you . . .especially if it's single malt!

[Lil Marek]

Not my idea, but a friend of a friend decided to cut down on th pressure and instead of Christmas cards, she sends Valentine's Day cards. A way to catch up with friends and relatives in February, when the world is kind of cold and gloomy—and a lot less pressured.

[Maryellen Webber]

I have shorten my Christmas card list since I make my own cards it was stressing me out to have them ready to send by December 1st. I buy many gift cards for family now since it's so costly to ship gifts or lug them on the airplane. I like baking but have given that duty to my husband and son. It makes me happy to see them work together creating sweet memories!

[Andrea Penrose]

That's a very lovely idea, Lil! February really is a pretty dreary month that feels as if it goes on forever. Valentine's Day cards are a very cheery way to brighten the gloom.

[Andrea Penrose]

Both excellent ideas, Maryellen. How lovely that your husband and son enjoy baking together. That will make wonderful memories all around!

[Teresa Broderick]

For years I had a houseful at Christmas. I often had fifteen to twenty for dinner and then about thirty in the house that night. I loved doing it, I think I must strive on stress! Now through deaths in the family over the years and my eldest staying in London, it will just be the four of us this year. My husband loves that as he can't relax when there are a lot of people around. I find it very quite now but it's a new tradition and I guess I'll get used to it in time.
Dare I say it------Happy Christmas everyone:):)

[Andrea Penrose]

Sounds like t you had a hectic but wonderful time with the big gathering. Yes, it's a change, but a smaller family gatherings have a wonderful vibe too. As you say, it's a change, so it takes getting used. I think we all find family gatherings change over the years, especially nowadays, when it's likely they are spread out all over the globe.

Merry Christmas to you, too!

[Constance]

I’m with Theo and Andrea - with whisky, definitely a single malt! But I’m also dependent on a little daily pre-bedtime quiet time, usually spent reading one of my Christmas favorites which include Rosamunde Pilcher’s Winter Solstice, several Trisha Ashleys, the relatively recent Lady Osbaldstone not-really-mysteries, and always The Last Chance Christmas Ball and several other Wenchly offerings. Having a pine-scented candle burning nearby doesn’t hurt, nor does a little Christmas music in the background. Haven’t started with the candle or music yet, but a particularly frantic fall professionally and personally this year saw me pulling out the Christmas reads in late September! They never fail me - and now that Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas and New Year’s Eve all loom, wonderful though they are, I know where I’ll be come late evenings - once i’m done cleaning, polishing, baking, wrapping....

[Margot]

I am lucky to have grown up in a family that loves a simple Christmastime. As children we were happy with one or two special gifts that were not costly. My daughter asked for very little and was happy with what she was given.
My husband and I were rushed all November and December in that we owned a retail business (picture framing and art) so we were hard a work for others till late afternoon on Dec 24th. Always happy then to share a simple stress free Christmas at home.
My family loves to gather mostly to share a meal, bake cookies, talk and to sing. We know many of the German and other European Christmas songs and we love to spend as much time as we can singing together. Share some wine and other goodies we each bring.
Now I am retired and no longer rush around. Glad to be done with those demands on my precious time. We still try to get together with our adult children and grand children to enjoy a simple family Christmas and I love that.

[Annette N]

Wonderful posts. Love the picture of the Australian flowers - they do look like decorations for a beautiful Christmas tree.

Thanks for all the lovely ideas.

[Karin]

I second Andrea's idea of cozying up with a book and some chocolate, plus I would add a pot of tea!

[Anne Gracie]

LOL Sonya — one of my oldest friends is Ukranian, and there are other friends who celebrate twice too. Yes, I'm sure it's stressful, but there is all that gorgeous food for compensation. And possibly the dieting afterward. ;)

[Anne Gracie]

Lil some time back I decided to give charity items for the grown-ups in the family -- so for instance the giving a goat to a family in Africa, water for a village, books for a school, hens for a family. It's a nice feeling to give something useful and yet not add to the clutter of "things."

[Andrea Penrose]

Glad you enjoyed the blog, Annette! Aren't Ann'es flowers gorgeous!

[Andrea Penrose]

Excellent addition, Karin. (though I also like Theo's suggestion of whisky!)

[Andrea Penrose]

I can imagine how stressful retail was, Margot. Glad you have now have a quieter season. The simple celebrations around food, good cheer, love and friendship is really what the holidays should be about.

[Andrea Penrose]

Yes, reading before bedtime is such a wonderfully relaxing thing, I find it always does away with stress, even on those days when everything seems to run off the rails. Escaping in a story is magical.

[Kareni]

Relaxing for me definitely includes reading, chocolate, conversation with family (sometimes via the internet since our daughter is living in South Korea), our collection of holiday CDs, and did I mention chocolate? Thank you all for sharing, Wenches and commenters!

[Andrea Penrose]

Sounds absolutely perfect, Kareni. Though I don't think you mentioned chocolate enough That's a staple for holiday cheer!

[Kareni]

More and more and more chocolate and good wishes to all!