Three Good Things, Redux

Three Good Things

by Mary Jo   

Because of extreme busyness, I'm exercising the Word Wench prerogative of rerunning an older post--from 2006, our first year of blogging!--partly to fill this space, but also because it's a post I like, and good thoughts to make us feel better are never out of place.

The original blog was written just before Christmas, while this rerun is shortly after the holidays. Stress, however, knows no boundaries!  Enjoy this old post to which I've added some new pictures of cats and snow.

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There’s lots of warm fuzzy sentiment in the air just now, most of it generated by the multiple holidays at this season.  (Happy Winter Solstice to everyone!)  There’s lots of gatherings with family and friends, often presents and parties, and waaaaaaay too much unhealthy but delicious food and drink on offer. 

It’s a good season—but for many of us, stress levels are off the scale.  I had my hair done today, and my lovely and efficient hair stylist was dealing with the considerable demands of being a business owner, wife, mother, grandmother, serious church volunteer, providing refreshments for clients and providing a holiday meal for her staff. 

She was two clients behind when she finished me, and it was still morning. Part of this was because a long time client had to be squeezed in because of a death in the family.  My stylist will survive and even enjoy the holidays, but relaxed?  Not hardly!

And there are worse stresses, like the client who had just lost her nephew.  Like the writer friend who posted that her family has just found out that her son-in- law’s return from Iraq has been moved further away—and his unit will redeploy there after six months back in the States.   

 

by Mary Jo   

Because of extreme busyness, I'm exercising the Word Wench prerogative of rerunning an older post--from 2006, our first year of blogging!--partly to fill this space, but also because it's a post I like, and good thoughts to make us feel better are never out of place.

The original blog was written just before Christmas, while this rerun is shortly after the holidays. Stress, however, knows no boundaries!  Enjoy this old post to which I've added some new pictures of cats and snow.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There’s lots of warm fuzzy sentiment in the air just now, most of it generated by the multiple holidays at this season.  (Happy Winter Solstice to everyone!)  There’s lots of gatherings with family and friends, often presents and parties, and waaaaaaay too much unhealthy but delicious food and drink on offer. 

It’s a good season—but for many of us, stress levels are off the scale.  I had my hair done today, and my lovely and efficient hair stylist was dealing with the considerable demands of being a business owner, wife, mother, grandmother, serious church volunteer, providing refreshments for clients and providing a holiday meal for her staff. 

She was two clients behind when she finished me, and it was still morning. Part of this was because a long time client had to be squeezed in because of a death in the family.  My stylist will survive and even enjoy the holidays, but relaxed?  Not hardly!

And there are worse stresses, like the client who had just lost her nephew.  Like the writer friend who posted that her family has just found out that her son-in- law’s return from Iraq has been moved further away—and his unit will redeploy there after six months back in the States.   

 

Even with less dramatic circumstances, holidays can be a letdown that don’t live up to our hopes and expectations.  Our nearest and dearest can get on our nerves, and family relationships that are already tense can go into meltdown.  Not to mention the traditional arguments about whose family to visit, and the conflicts in mixed religion households. 

So I’m here to offer, if not a cure, at least a palliative.  <G>  Jo Beverley mentioned a study she’d read about that showed that even pessimistic people started feeling happier if they did exercises that required them to write down positive things in their lives, events and people they were grateful for, times when they felt good about themselves.  Consciously appreciating and thinking positive even raised their happiness scale six months down the road. 

A simple form of this exercise is to relax and think of three good things that happened to you today.  Maybe you can do it when you go to bed, rather than thinking of all the stuff that needs to be done tomorrow.  Only three good things!

Here are some examples.

1) Two days ago, I got around to hanging my bird feeder, and all of a sudden I have beautiful birds munching a foot and a half from my dining room window.  This morning I glanced out the next window, and there in the midst of lush rhododendron greenery was a brilliant red cardinal, less than five feet away from me and looking like a Christmas card as he waited patiently for his turn.

Actually, maybe he wasn’t patient, maybe he was plotting a hostile takeover of the bird feeder and a terrorization of finches, but he sure looked pretty!  Often we get too busy to appreciate nature, but even a single image like this can leave me smiling.  Look for nature, and enjoy it. 

2) Another good thing: while on the way to my hairdresser, I tuned to a radio show where a woman called in on a rather scratchy cell phone to say that she was a teacher taking her students into Gettysburg to see Charlotte’s Web, and could the DJ play something the kids could sing to?  His voice warm, he said, “Of course!”  Within seconds, the first notes of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer were sounding through my car.  The thought of a whole busload of little kids happily singing along put another smile on my face.

3) After I left the hair salon, looking as spiffy as I’m capable of <g>, I had a holiday lunch with a friend.  Most of the restaurants around were jam packed with people doing the same, and offices having holiday parties, so we ended up in a new little Italian restaurant I’d never seen before.  Good food, good company, a good time.

I could go on—lots more than three good things happened today.  (Along with a few not so good, but we won’t go there. <g>)  But thinking of the good stuff makes me feel lighter and happier.

So that’s your assignment for this quiet January.  Think of three good things every day.  Maybe more.  And perhaps that will lift your mood, relieve some stress, and make the holidays—and regular days—easier and more enjoyable. 

And yes, you can count a perfect piece of chocolate as A Very Good Thing!

Mary Jo, ending with a pic of cozy cats on a snowy day

Comments

[Maryellen Webber]

Thanks Mary Jo for reposting this. I am feeling stressed right now so I am going to take your advice and write 3 good things daily! Love the photos of the cats!

[Janice M]

Good advice, thanks. Walking always helps me relax and a cuddle with the dog or cat or both is lovely too. Take a deep breath, hold it and let it out slowly and feel the muscles soften as you do......sufficient unto the day the evil therein.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Maryellen, cats are great stress relievers! There are two in my office now, and they are great stress relievers. *G*

[Mary Jo Putney]

Janice, you're so right. As someone said, "worry is interest paid on problems you haven't had yet," or something like that. I need to remind myself of the many good things in my life.

[Kareni]

What a lovely post, Mary Jo. Sometimes at night when I'm awake in bed, I count my blessings. I usually start with my husband and daughter; nor I'll add chocolate....

[Kareni]

Hmm, that should have been "now I'll add chocolate...."

[Lillian Marek]

Just three?

1. I discovered that Charlotte MacLeod’s Sarah Kelling-Max Bittersohn mysteries are available through my library as ebooks. I read these delightful books so long ago that they are new again as I reread them.

2. It was cold enough last night for me to sleep really well, all cozy under the quilt, and my husband got up first and put the heat on so the kitchen wasn’t an icebox when I went downstairs.

3. At some point during the night I figured out what is wrong with my WIP, so that when I woke up, the answer was there before me. Not the answer precisely, since I have to figure out how to fix it, but at least I see what the problem is.

Life is good.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Kareni, I'm glad you have a solid grasp of life's priorities.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Lillian, that's a very good list for the day! I'm working on #3 for my WIP. *G*

[Sue McCormick]

Interesting post, with good advice. Once of the most cheerful people I have ever met, posts a 30-day gratitude lest each Thanksgiving. Some of the items are consistent, but the list is newly created each year; she doesn't recopy her list, but thinks it out each year.

But your post sent me off into another direction. A "Cardinal" in "Oriole" territory?! "Hmm;h!"

I do't follow sports, but I grew up in a two-league town. And the National League team was alwys in the top half of the league. Snd the other team was memorialized in a verse "St. Louis: First in booze, first in shoes, and last in the American league." Not always true, Sometime the Browns were seventh and the Senators were eighth — they would switch places.

Times change. The bear is still among the highest sellers and there is still a brewery in St. Louis, but its a Belgian beer now. Brown Shoe Company is gone and Italy is First in shoes, and more than 50 years ago, the browns were sold — to Baltimore, where they took the name of that city's minor league team. Almost immediately the new Orioles rose to the top half of the American league.

Baseball is different now — and better. I no longer follow it closely. And I was a Cardinal fan, not a Browns fan. But i've always felt some connection to the Orioles.

[Sue McCormick]

"gratitude list"

[Karin]

We are baking a lot this month(we being me and my husband). It's fun to try out a new recipe together.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Sue, orioles are pretty, but lately, they haven't done especially well at baseball. Cardinals, however, are fairly common at this season. They also have a bad habit of bashing into windows. Luckily, they seem able to survive that. Hard heads!

[Mary Jo Putney]

That is an admirably clear name. It's nice your friends thinks it through every year.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Oh, yes, cooking with one's nearest and dearest great fun! I hope some of the recipes are real keepers.

[Vicki L.]

In November I started doing this - 3 grateful's a day. It really does make a difference in how you feel. It is also fun to look back and see what I've written since I try NOT to duplicate myself too often. Though there have been more SUN!! grateful's than usual.

The sunny south has been more soggy gray south so whenever we actually have a dry sunny day it goes to the top of the list. Unfortunately, today was a gray day.

My list for today so far is
1) Started the upward slog of cold recovery (as in felt life returning as well as a clear head).

2) Made it to the post office and back before the schools let out - in spite of a very late departure time (I drive by 2 elementary, 1 middle, & 1 high school).

3) Had an extra custom's form in my possession that I could give a lady when she couldn't find any in the rack's at the post office. (I don't normally have custom's forms but I was mailing books to APO addresses and you never know if you will have to redo something.)

Thanks for the reminder of why it is good to keep writing my list each day.

[Mary Jo Putney]

A good list, Vicki, and wise of you to write the things down. I'm all in favor of listing SUN! as a blessing--Maryland has had the rainiest year on record, close to double the usual rainfall. Squish!

[Mary T]

Like many of the other responders here I believe that an "attitude of gratitude" goes a long way. When I was a child there was a song that was popular with lyrics that went

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings."

Some of the most unhappy people I've known in life are people who don't seem to know how to be grateful for what they have. However much it is - it's not enough.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Mary T, I remember that song! You are so write--people who focus on everything that is less than perfect are not happy people. They're not much fun to be around, either.

[Vicki L.]

I worked in an office like that..negative to the max. I'd go in feeling all happy and by the middle of the day uggghhh. One day I finally told them there were not going to be ANY negative words or complaints that day. None....! Every time they'd start up I'd go wait...we aren't doing negative today.

Funniest thing of all - I was the temp, they were permanent. But they did (after several weeks of minimal negative comments) admit that life was better without all the negativity.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Vicki L., that is a true superpower: lifting the spirits of a whole office of negative people, and you only a temp! Well done.