A special gift

Anne here, hoping everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. 
I've been thinking about presents. When you're a child, the fact of the present is usually enough, but sometimes it's the meaning of the present that's important. Looking back at the presents of my childhood, only a few really stand out. Most of them I don't remember at all, and as for where they are now, that's anyone's guess.
  But I still have the pair of marble horse-head bookends that my dad gave me one year, that combined my two eleven-year-old passions — reading and horses. (I actually wanted a real horse, but sadly that never arrived.) But this set of bookends was my first grown-up kind of present, and I was so proud to get them.

In several of my books I've had a young girl yearning for a doll. I'm not quite sure where this comes from — I was never a doll kind of child — I preferred living animals, and my teddy. But I suppose a doll stands for someone of your own to love, and I think we can all understand the kind of yearning a young, lonely girl might have for a doll. Dolls are symbolic in so many ways.
 
In my book, BRIDE BY MISTAKE — which hit the shelves on Tuesday  —  my heroine's father, having no son, worked his motherless young daughter her hard, training her to run the estate, and treating her as a boy. But one day he returns from a trip and Isabella spies a present in his bag...

Papa's bags were right there. The flap of one was open. Bella was tempted to peek.

What she saw took her breath away — a golden-haired china doll, the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her life, dressed in a pink velvet dress, with real lace, so beautiful it almost made her cry. 

Last time Papa had brought her a riding crop, beautifully tooled, and of course, Bella had been delighted, even if it was the kind of thing you gave a son. And she did love riding.

But this gloriously beautiful doll was for a daughter, a most beloved daughter. She didn't know what thrilled her most — the beauty of the doll, or that Papa had thought to bring her something so lovely, so special. It made all her hard work worthwhile.

Every detail of the doll was perfect, even down to tiny oval pink fingernails on her dimpled china hands. Her shoes were of palest pink leather, fastened with tiny pearl buttons, and she wore white stockings made of silk. The doll's eyes were bright blue, with long lashes made of real hair and they seemed to smile at Bella, like a friend, like a sister. 

She hugged the doll to her. She'd always wanted a sister. She would call her Gloriana. She lifted the dress to see what the doll wore underneath — and heard a sound at the door. Someone was coming. Quickly she thrust the doll back into Papa's bag and hurried away.

She would have all the time in the world to play with her doll.  

She changed into her prettiest dress and waited until dinner time with barely suppressed excitement.

"Have you been a good girl, Isabella?"

"Yes, Papa." She felt almost sick with anticipation.

"I've brought you something from the city. Do you want to know what it is?"

Her hands were shaking. "Yes, please Papa."

He handed her a parcel, square and heavy, too small to be the doll.  "Well, go on, open it."

She unwrapped it. It was a book; Equus, on the care and treatment of horses. Puzzled, she glanced at her father, thinking perhaps he'd played a trick on her and would produce the doll in a minute. "Is that all, Papa?"

He laughed. "No, of course it isn't all, now where did I put it?" And he started patting his pockets.

And Bella laughed with him, laughing too loudly in relief and delight that Papa had joked with her, when normally he was so serious.

"Ah, here it is." He pulled from his pocket a small twist of paper. 

Bella's laughter died. She eyed the brown paper twist. She knew what it contained and it wasn't a doll.

"Thought I'd forgotten your sweet tooth, did you?" He gave her the little packet of boiled sweets." Now, come and give your father a kiss and then run along upstairs with your treasures."

Were you a doll kind of child or were animals more your thing? Were you ever disappointed in a present, as Isabella was? Do you still love getting presents? On wordwenches we give our guests the most stupendous cyber gifts, no expense spared. If you could give yourself a stupendous gift, no expense spared, what would it be? I'll give a copy of my January book, BRIDE BY MISTAKE, to someone who leaves a comment.

Comments

[Eleanorcastile]

I was absolutely not a doll kind of child, and loved animals and my teddy bears.

One year my parents did actually buy me a doll that walked and talked and I was terrified of it! They had to give it away in the end which was a shame.

Alison

[Jacki]

I liked my Dolls but being an only Child I loved my Cats & Dogs they were my playmates and every childhood Photo I have I seem to be hugging them, my favourite Toy was a big Monkey which my Irish Grandfather named Paddy the Bags I still have him in a cupboard with a Baby's Romper suit holding him together very much loved and not forgotten.

[Anne Gracie]

Alison, what a priceless story! I sometimes think those toys/dolls that do everything leave not enough space for a child's imagination. And some of them are quite strident, so there's no space for gentle imaginations or subtle thoughts. Or even a doll or play object to which you can ascribe different personalities as required. You're stuck with what a marketing department thinks a child wants.

I must say I'm also rather dismayed by the adverts on TV for electronic games that simulate playing a sport, so "you can play with your kids." Why not take them outside and really play?

[Anne Gracie]

Paddy the Bags — what a wonderful name, Jacki. I can just see him hanging there in the cupboard with a lop-sides grim. My Teddy is still here with me.

And yes, so many of my childhood photos are of me hanging onto some cat — they never want to be photographed with people, do they, cats? Some secret vow they've taken, I think — or sitting with my arm around a dog. You can have adventures with dogs. Cats not so much, but they are witnesses to your adventures and they carry secrets in their eyes...

[Jo]

I had a big clown, about as long as me, and his name was Clarence. And some stuffed dogs. I remember one year after a Christmas in Melbourne with my grandparents I'd somehow left Clarence behind, and I was in a fog of despair for weeks... until the next time we went to Melbourne. And I can still see Clarence set up against the pillows of the guest room, on the ivory jacquard bedspread in the old Hawthorn house, waiting for me, and remember the rush of blood to my heart when I saw him... Later, my parents at some stage made a suggestion that I was getting too old for Clarence (still pre-teen, mind) and I wouldn't go to school without making sure he was safely hidden at the bottom of the bed, under the covers. I still have him, or what's left of him.

[Julie]

A lot of dolls actually kind of frighten me; I was more of a plushie/stuffed animal type of person (still am!). I have a family of cats, big and small, sitting on my bed at this moment. In fact, I just received a Thor plushie as a belated Christmas gift just this evening. ♥

[Anne Gracie]

Jo, what a wonderful story. It's shame your grandparents didn't let you know straight away that Clarence was all right, but still, it's a beautiful black moment, and a wonderful happy ending. :)

I'm not at all surprised you've kept Clarence and plotted to protect him while you were away. So much love and secret thoughts and imaginations go into companions like Clarence that they really are an extension of you.

[Anne Gracie]

Julie, I'm not surprised. Dolls can have quite scary expressions, and such cold eyes. When I was putting this blog up, I originally wanted to use a photo of a doll, but apart from finding one that I could use without infringing copyright, so many of the dolls faces were downright scary — not at all someone a little girl would want to cuddle up to. A soft toy with a kind face is much more my style.

My niece is in her 30's and hasn't lived at home for years but her old bed is still covered by half a million stuffed toys. I may have exaggerated a trifle — it just feels that many when you have to take them off and then put them back ‚ in the right order! LOL

[eli yanti]

hi Anne, me again ;)

i'm a doll kind of child, i have barbie ;)
and i really love getting the present, who will not? ;)

i have no idea right now about a stupendous gift i will give to myself ;(

[Kandy Shepherd]

Hi Anne, your extract from Bride By Mistake has made me mad with curiosity to find out just why that father bought the beautiful doll if not for his daughter! Must order the book!
I loved both animals and dolls--sometimes at the same time by dressing up my patient, long-suffering cats in doll's clothes.

[Anne Gracie]

Hi Eli, nice to see you here. Barbie is a fun kind of doll. She's been around such long time and still seems modern and up to date.

[Anne Gracie]

Kandy, I'm chuckling at the idea of dressing your cats in dolls clothes — I learned young that that's something up with which no cat will put!

And the doll in the excerpt goes to someone who turns out to be pretty important to the plot. Of course, this was in the past — the heroine is all grown up now.

And you never know, you might win the book.

[Theresa N]

I loved my dolls and can even remeber them, I couldn't wait to get my first Barbie. If I could give myself a present no expenses spared it would probably be a summer long vacation.

[Judy]

Animals! I had an entire stuffed animal collection that I finally gave away to a Child Crisis Center, in my 30s. That being said, the collection continues to grow. I can't help myself; they're so cute! I was blessed with a dog for 17 years, and a horse. There's still time for the horse, Anne. I miss them both. I love presents, in fact, your book was a birthday present and it arrived yesterday. I read it until late last night, but have much to accomplish today before I'm allowed to pick it up again.

[ruth]

Presents were special for us but they were usually practical such as a bathrobe or slippers. I wasn't a doll person or a stuffed animal one either. I cannot remember any other presents which sounds awful.

[Karenmc]

I was always a stuffed animal kid. My favorite was a very soft, beat up kitty; I believe I strangled it over the years, clutching it while I slept. I was given dolls when I was smaller, but my mother kept them in the cedar chest because I never was interested in them (which is why I still have a ridiculous bride doll that was a Christmas gift when I was five - the most exciting thing about it was an opportunity to print my name on the box containing it).

[Suzy]

My favorite gift (Christmas) was a dolls house. It was a contemporary ranch style that the roof lifted off. I've always had a love of floor plans from that house.

What would I give myself, no expense spared? A house!! Not too big, not too small, and with plenty of rooms for my books & technology! oh, and my cat. Can't forget the cat.

[Phyllis]

I had a few dolls, but tended to use them in inventing stories instead of playing endless rounds of change-the-diapers. We didn't have pets until we got guinea pigs when I was 10 or so. And guinea pigs aren't my idea of good pets. So hmmm.... more a doll person, then :)

[Janga]

I finished Bride by Mistake last night, Anne, and loved it. Is this the last of the Devil Riders?

Santa brought me a doll every year, but they were usually relegated to a shelf until my sister took pity on them and adopted them. One of the stories in the family canon cencerns an expensive porcelain doll one of my aunts gave me when I was three. My mother put it out of reach until I was older, but my dad gave it to me one day when my mother was shopping. I burst the head open to see what made the eyes open and close. My mother was most unhappy with me and my dad.

I found my younger brother and sister more fun than dolls or stuffed animals. I do have an orange bunny named Flannery and a teddy named K.M. that I cherish, but they date from my teen years rather than childhood. I was very much a books and chalk board child, reading and teaching from an early age.

[Michelle G.]

I was an animal kid growing up but was never allowed to have an animal as a child (military brat, moved too much for a pet) so I loved stuffed animals of any kind. Dogs, cats, bears, you name it, I probably had one. And the very first thing I did when I moved out on my own? Bought a cat.

[Anne Gracie]

Theresa, of course you can remember them! They were your friends. And a summer long holiday would be excellent. I'm thinking you should move to Australia, where most people get 4 weeks annual leave, and teachers get 6 weeks paid leave in summer.

[Anne Gracie]

Judy, that was a wonderful thing to do, giving your stuffed animal collection to a crisis centre. I'm sure those animals will bring a lot of comfort.

Don't they make beautiful stuffed animals these days? With such personality and expression and so cuddly. My old teddy has a beautiful face, but I suspect that's love talking. ;)

I hope you enjoy BRIDE BY MISTAKE — thank you for dropping by to chat.

[Anne Gracie]

Ruth, I don't think it sounds awful that you don't remember any particular presents, especially if you mostly got practical things. You might have been the kind of child that could make games and imaginary companions out of anything. Or maybe you didn't need imaginary companions to talk to.
Thanks for dropping by.

[Anne Gracie]

Karen, I'm smiling here, because as I read your post I found myself humming: Soft Kitty, Strangled Kitty, little ball of fur... (Yes I watch Big Bang Theory)

It's funny, isn't it, how some kids adore dolls and others head straight for the animals. I never had a bride doll — I suspect my parents knew that if I didn't already play with my older sisters' dolls, there was no point. And since I was mostly outside, a bride doll would get filthy.

[Anne Gracie]

Hi Suzy, your ranch house dolls house sounds wonderful. I never had a dolls house as a child but I used to make them out of cardboard boxes -- mostly shoe boxes, and I'd make furniture out of bits and pieces — a chest of drawers by gluing matchboxes together— that sort of thing. Endless hours of fun.

I really hope you eventually get that real-life house of your own. Good luck.

[Anne Gracie]

Thanks, Janga, I'm so pleased you liked Bride By Mistake.

As for Marcus, it's a vexed question. I had started on him, but when my publisher & editor saw my new proposal for a new series, they asked me to start on that straight away and put Marcus aside.
I'm still determined to write him — it's just a matter of when.

As for that present of a porcelain-headed doll — what a thing to give a three year old. I'm not surprised you broke it open. My brother used to take apart almost every toy he was given to see how it worked.

It looks like you had the perfect combination of doll and pet — small, bossable-but-not-necessarily-obedient siblings. And yes, you were obviously a born teacher. Thanks for coming by to chat.

[Anne Gracie]

Phyllis, sorry I skipped you. I love that you played inventive and imaginative games with your dolls instead of changing their diapers — not my idea of fun at all. LOL And using your imagination to make up stories is so much more creative.

I'm not surprised you weren't all that interested in the guinea pigs. They've never appealed to me, and I'm attracted to most animals. They don't seem to have much personality, whereas cats and dogs are people. The best pets for kids are the kind of animals that adults keep as companions.

[Leigh Evans]

Gad, I wish I wasn't working crazy hours right now. I would be opening up my copy of BRIDE BY MISTAKE instead of telling myself, "No! Later!" Still--I bought it, and I know it's waiting for me. A true treat to savour.

[Anne Gracie]

Thanks so much, Leigh, for this comment and for your tweets. I hope when you get to it you enjoy the book. But yes, it's a crazy busy time of year for me, too.

[Anne Gracie]

Michelle, isn't that the way — you longed for that pet and finally was able to have it.
A lady I know lived in an orphanage from the age of 4, and she longed for a doll, and every year prayed for one. And every year she got a darning needle and some wool. (Sound familiar? I modeled little May the orphan in Perfect Waltz on her) She left the orphanage at 18 and got a job and the first thing she bought was.. you guessed it — a doll. Now she's a grandmother and retired and lives in a house full of dolls and dolls houses — and makes beautiful hand-made dolls herself.

[Sherrie Holmes]

Sherrie, here. Anne, I wasn't a doll person. My sister had a Betsy Wetsy doll that "wet" its diapers, and a Chatty Kathy doll that spoke when you pulled a string on her back. Dolls were boring to me.

My toys were pretty rocks and marbles. Plastic farm animals. My brother's Tinker Toys, which I coveted. Board games and jigsaw puzzles. And ceramic horse figurines--I was so horse crazy.

But my very favorite gift was when I turned 8 and I received a roll of butcher paper and a box of drawing pencils. I loved to draw from an early age, and I just treasured that roll of paper and box of pencils. A few birthdays later, I received a huge stack of blank newsprint and a grown up box of artist's charcoal. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I also loved my coloring books and Crayons. All through grade school and junior high I won scholarships to attend summer art school, and in junior high and high school I gained permission to attend "invitation-only" special art classes. Those early gifts of drawing paper and pencils fostered in me a lifelong love of art.

[Cynthia Owens]

I was definitely not a doll person, or much of an animal person, either. Some of my best Christmas gifts were books - Nancy Drew, Cherry Ames, etc.

But some of my favorite playthings were tiny porcelain animals - forest animals, bears, dogs, geese, even a moose. They came in boxes of Red Rose Tea (only in Canada, eh?) and I'd spend hours pretending they were all friends, that they could talk to each other, and enacting all sorts of stories for them.

As to the ultimate gift I'd give myself: a month-long tour of Ireland, visiting all the places I didn't have time for during the 10 days I spent there last time.

Happy New Year, Anne, and I can't wait to read Bride By Mistake!

[LouisaCornell]

I just finished Bride By Mistake, Anne, and I LOVED IT !! Luke and Bella are such wonderful characters and I so enjoyed watching them fall in love. And the very best part was Luke's mother's reaction at the end. SO LOVELY and SWEET !!

I still have the two dolls and the teddy my paternal grandfather gave me the day I was born. (53 years ago last Thursday, thank you!)Now the lovely bride doll met with an unfortunate hair cutting incident. She looks rather like Sinead O'Connor actually. I also have some original Barbie dolls that are probably worth a fortune.

But I loved animals and my favorite playmates were often my dogs and cats. And I was horse mad, especially when we lived in England and had lots of Breyer horses.

I still love giving and receiving gifts. My nephew gave me The King's Speech on DVD this year and I really enjoyed it.

Bernie, the teddy my paternal grandfather gave me all those years ago was my traveling companion even when I was an adult. He is a most well-traveled bear - England, Germany, Austria, Romania, Italy, Spain. I think he is rather glad I have settled down as he is a bit love-worn, but greatly loved.

[Anne Gracie]

OMG, Sherrie — a Betsy Wetsy doll? Who thinks these things up? I'm not surprised you avoided them.

And what a splendid present for an artistically minded little girl — pa roll of paper and colored pencils and then newsprint and charcoal — and it certainly produced fruit. Your hand made cards are stunning.

That's the difference between thinking up a present that's suited to the specific child and buying the latest fad in toys. And I bet it was cheaper, too.

Happy New Year, Sherrie — it's going to be a special one, I'm sure.

[Anne Gracie]

Hi Cynthia, I really enjoy collections of tiny things too. What a good reason to drink lots of tea. I never read Nancy Drew, but my oldest sister had Cherry Ames, so of course I read them. Scrub off that nasty rouge, young lady! But sister, it's natural. LOL

A long leisurely trip through Ireland would be lovely. I'm getting itchy feet from all the posts about traveling.

[Anne Gracie]

Louisa, Happy Birthday for last Thursday!! Another Capricorn! My sisters and I are all Capricorns.

And thank you for the lovely comment about Bride By Mistake. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it — and particularly pleased about Luke's mother at the end. It's the first time I've ever included a mother's point of view, if only briefly, but it seemed so right.

What a very well traveled bear Bernie is. Teddy is giving me a one-eyed look and sniffing as I write. I've never taken him traveling. LOL

All the best for 2012. And thanks again for your very kind words.

[Alexis]

Oh, I was definitely a doll kind of girl. I acted out elaborate stories with my dolls, and made them clothing and furniture. (That's actually how I learned to sew, knit, and crochet, so it was also a bonding experiencing with my grandmother.) I had a dog, and I liked animals, but I was not a fan of horses at all. I took riding lessons when I was six, and after the horse threw me two weeks in a row I decided that was enough.

[LilMissMolly]

I've gotten use to the worst presents as my hubby of 20 years is terrible. For our first anniversary, he got me a bottle of perfume (not bad) and 3-pack of Hanes underwear. He didn't even get my Vickie's!

[Anne Gracie]

Alexis, it's so nice to see how many people acted out stories with their dolls. I also bonded with my godmother over this kind of thing — she was a real craftsperson and she taught me how to make stuffed felt toys and all kinds of things like that.

Ouch on being thrown by the mean horse. No wonder you didn't take to them.

[Anne Gracie]

Hi, LilMiss Molly, sounds like you need to train your hubby — or give him a list.

And I'm guessing the 3-pack of undies shows he was more interested in the person inside them than the brand. LOL.
But men to tend to get practical things, don't they?

[Janice]

As a child, I was an animal person; I despised dolls as they seemed emblematic of the forced path to a bad marriage like my mother's. I never told anyone this, of course - one was discouraged from making critical comments about adults' lives - so of course people gave me dolls because that's what girls were supposed to like. Little girls were not supposed to play cowboys and Indians, read science fiction books or write stories about fantastic things. They were supposed to play quietly with their dolls and in general just be pretty, sweet and perfect.

Only one person, my brother Bill, took the time to find out what the kid really did like, and he never gave me any stupid dolls. He gave me books like CW Anderson's A Touch of Greatness - which I still have.

Later on, when I forgave the world for not knowing what to do with a horse-mad science fiction crazy girl :) - I didn't mind dolls so much, and I could admire the craft that went into some of them and appreciate why other girls and women loved them so much. My Christmas tree, when I bother with one, has a dozen or so Barbie Hallmark ornaments on it.

[Cate S]

I was a stuffed animal kid... not dolls.. which my mom appreciated as Barbie had just appeared on the horizon.. I did play with Barbie, but at a friend's house... all those little accessories didn't come home with me...

[Diane Sallans]

I did have a lot of dolls - Shirley Temple, Chatty Kathy, and then the Barbies. I did play with them, but never successfully slept with them (my Mom always said she would find them flung on the floor when she would come in to check on me).
I've only been disappointed in gifts when I've wanted something very specific but got some variation (as they say 'close but not cigar' - don't know where that saying came from, but I heard it a long time ago). So I've learned that if I want something specific to get it myself.

[Anne Gracie]

Hi Janice, what an interesting comment. You were one determined little girl — and I suspect that though we were coming from different angles we would have responded to a Peeing Penny doll with as much disgust as Sherrie. I would much rather clean up after a real kitten or puppy than fake stuff from a doll. LOL.
And what a wonderful brother Bill was to really *see* who you were, and give you things you would like and that would nourish your imagination. Thank goodness for people who take the time to know children for who they really are! Thanks for a really interesting contribution to the conversation.

[Anne Gracie]

Hi Cate, that sounds like you managed the best of both worlds, though mind you, I think the best thing about Barbie was all the accessories.

When I got into dolls houses much later, I think it was all the little miniature things, the organizing a miniature world that I liked.

[Anne Gracie]

Diane, you may well have been quite an active little dreamer, that's why the dolls were flung away.

I think that's very sensible approach to getting the specific gift you want — nobody else quite gets it. I've never heard of that expression before. Thanks for dropping in to chat.

[Maureen]

I loved my dolls and stuffed animals when I was a kid. My friends and I would play house with both of them.

[Pageturner]

I love presents; even though I'm grown up, I get a thrill when I receive one, especially unexpectedly. Favourite present would be hard to say, but I remember getting a small sewing machine was I was about fifteen and being thrilled with that.