What's the Magic Word?

by Mary Jo

BETTER. 

It’s human nature to want to better ourselves.  This may be particularly true of Americans since it’s inherent in our culture to believe that hard work will enable us to create better lives in all sorts of ways: we can be thinner, kinder, richer, more successful, more fit—you name it.  The self-help bestseller lists confirm this belief. <g>

This desire to improve is one reason there are New Year’s resolutions.  I’ve never made them—if I want to make a change, I’ll do it now!   (Patience is not my strong suit.)   Among people who do make formal resolutions, there seems to be a high degree of frustration.  New Year’s resolutions seem designed to make us feel like failures, and darned quickly, too!

Which is why I was delighted when my fantasy writer friend Sharon Shinn mentioned a practice she and some friends do.  Instead of resolutions, they choose a word for the year ahead—something to guide or inspire or help them make choices for the next twelve months. For example, one could choose:

 

~~~Patience~~~

 

Sharon says they got the idea from somewhere else, so she doesn’t know the origin, but I LOVE the concept!  It’s a theme, a mantra, a gentle suggestion rather than a list of goals that may prove impractical. 

So I considered some possible words for the year:

~~~Treasure~~~

This can be either a verb or a noun.  One can make a point of cherishing friends and family that we may take for granted, or one can use “treasure” as a noun, symbolizing the steps that might improve one’s financial situation. 

 

~~~ Fearless: ~~~

This might be a good choice for someone who feels she needs to speak up for herself more.  It’s a sobering example, but a friend of mine who once was kidnapped off the street by three guys and beaten and raped for a couple of days before being released said that after that, things like bullying professors and bosses simply didn’t frighten her any more.  This could be a good theme for a year of evaluating what we fear and why.  And what we can do about it!

~~~Mindfulness:  ~~~

This is another really good one.  We get so busy, so tied up in the small stuff, that we don’t always remember to “be here now” and cherish the immediate moment and our surroundings.

 

~~~Finish!: ~~~

I figure the word can have a punctuation mark without violating the principle.  <g> For someone who is always going in too many directionsscattered, starting lots of things but never getting them done, this could be a good keyword.

~~~Awake:~~~

This is rather like mindfulness.  Be alert!  Pay attention! Notice what’s going on!  (A good one for writers who wander around in a creative haze way too often. <G>)

~~~Experiment:~~~

Be open to new possibilities.  Try new things.  I’ve never liked olives, but every now and then, I’ll have another one just to see if I like them better.  The answer is mostly no, but I have learned that I dislike some types less than others. <G> 

 

~~~ Reframe: ~~~

This is another concept I really like.  How we see our past can really influence how we see ourselves in the present, and how we interact with the world.  Think of how very different it is to say, “I was abused as a child and permanent scarred by it,” versus, “I had a very difficult childhood, but it made me incredibly strong and adaptable and compassionate.”  Or something simpler, like “I can never understand computers” reframed as, “I haven’t done well with computers in the past because I was insufficiently motivated, but now that I find I can do genealogy/needlework/see pictures of my grandkids online, I’ll figure it out in no time!” 

By the way, the picture was taken in a park above Auckland, New Zealand.  We had an 8 hour layover on our way to Australia, so we hired a car with a nice driver to take us around.)

~~~Move:~~~

 This could be a good one for physical improvement.  Many of us lead sedentary lives, so moving more can improve one’s health, vitality, and mood, not to mention one’s figure.  Park at the far end of the lot, take the stairs instead of the elevator (not if it’s the 88th floor, of course!), find some kind of physical outlet that will make you feel better and happier.

 

Sharon did something else really fun with this concept: “Last year I got magnets for the five of us who chose words. I went to Zazzle.com and picked my typefaces and color backgrounds and made a set for each of us. They're all hanging on my stove.”  
 
You can see the possibilities of this!  Do you like this idea?  Have you tried it?  Is there a word you’d like to be your theme for the year? 

Mary Jo, still working on Patience..

 

 

Comments

[Deb Marlowe]

Hi Word Wenches. Wishing you all a Happy 2011!

I love this concept. I think my word for the year will be Experience. I want to slow down and really savor all the good things in my life and be truly open to the possibilities that present themselves for even more.

[Andrea Penrose]

Thank you, Mary Jo. A lovely was to start the New Year. I love all of your words, and will be "mindful" of them each day. I also like balance, as in make sure the stresses don't tip the see-saw too often.

[LouisaCornell]

Great post, Mary Jo ! I like this idea.

I think my word needs to be FINISH - as in finish this book and move on to the next one and FINISH it ! ETC

[Patricia Rice]

Interesting idea. I, too, see no reason in resolutions because if I know I need to change something, I do it immediately. Procrastination applies only to plotting. "G"

But sitting here on a snowy, dreary day, the only edifying phrase that occurs is STAY WARM.

[maryjoputney]

A nice selection of new words! A lot seem to boil down to paying attention, being more present. Easy to lose in the world's busyness.

Louisa, good luck with FINISH! It's a good goal for the coming months.

Pat--you're already working on StayWarm. Here's hoping you see results!

[Susan Fraser King]

Thanks, Mary Jo and Sharon too, what a wonderful suggestion! I've made lists of such words before, but this is a great way to use that concept. Years ago, I wrote some interesting words in calligraphy on a wall in a kid's room to enhance the decor - and to help with some muddy middle years. ;) Choosing a single word as a theme for the year can help focus and motivate. Love it!

I'd go for Creativity, Peace, Prosperity, Love ... Patience, really good one ... Mindfulness is excellent ... FOCUS would really help me sometimes ... Gotta give this some thought!

Happy new year to all! Whatever your theme word is, may it bring you the very best in 2011.

Susan

[Mary Jo Putney]

FOCUS--Good one, Susan! I could use that one, too. *g* I'll bet the calligraphied words on the kiddo's wall looked gorgeous.

[Helen]

Mary Jo

This is such a great idea and much better than resolutions that for me are always broken LOL.

I would pick the word Happiness just to focus on trying to be happy all year and not let things get me down

Have Fun
Helen

[Sherrie Holmes]

Sherrie here. The rebel leaps to the fore with hand waving madly! I love New Year's resolutions! I write them down and keep them in a file. As I accomplish each goal, I draw a red line through it and note the date. I have resolutions going back to 1974, and whenever I get down on myself for not accomplishing anything in my life, I dig out my resolutions file and I'm always amazed and proud of all that I've actually accomplished. And in many instances, it took ten years or more to reach certain goals.

It's such a morale booster to look at that list. And sometimes, I will redline an item because it no longer has importance. Priorities change.

But I just love the plan of keying in on WORDS! what a great idea. I think one word for me would be "NOW." I tend to put off unpleasant tasks, and they never get better with age. Just do it now and be done with it. I'm going to add NOW to my list of New Year's resolutions!

[Keira Soleore]

I've been doing this for three years now. My word for this year is "Respect": respecting others and respecting myself and my time.

I should perhaps also add "Finish!" (with an exclamation point, in red, bold, and 20-point font) to my word list. :)

I adore the photo that goes with Reframe. Fantastic juxtaposition of the word and its meaning onto nature.

[Keira Soleore]

Sherrie, you're an inspiration. So organized, meticulous, and hardworking.

[maryjoputney]

Helen, it's hard to go wrong choosing HAPPINESS!

Sherrie, I think you make resolutions work for you by taking the long view rather than getting frustrated if there's no short term success and giving up. But "NOW" is a good word to tune oneself to.

Keira, both RESPECT and FINISH have resonance. IT's too easy to let things slide.

And isn't that frame amazing? The nice driver who took us around for four hours brought us to this park on the high ground above gorgeous Auckland, and there it was. There's a picture of me and the Mayhew Consultant inside the frame (which is BIG! could get more people in it easily), but we looked pretty jetlagged. So I went with the scenic shot.

[NinaP]

Well said, Mary Jo. You could have been a psychologist. Or write for Dear Abby. Personally, I'd be lost if you didn't write romance. :-)

Nina, still trying to think of a word.