The First Time

Years ago, Kathe Robin, the doyenne of Romantic Times reviewers, mentioned to me that the consummation scene in a historical romance was very important to her.  The words stuck with me as I thought about why that was true, for true it certainly was.

Before I continue in this vein, I want to emphasize that I don’t think a romance has to have explicit sex to be a great romance.  Some of my favorite romances never go beyond a kiss or a held hand, yet they pulse with yearning and emotion and romance.  An example of those is Lady Elizabeth's Comet by Sheila Simonson, which I just finished reading for the fifth or tenth time since it came out in 1985.  (The occasion of this reread was the delightful knowledge that the book is now available in e-format at Fictionswise http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/ebook66571.htm  for a mere $5.99.)

To return to my meditations on the importance of a consummation scene: a romance is a dance of emotions and psychology as the characters clash, connect, and ultimately commit.  Physical attraction is obviously part of the equation, but more than that, it’s one of the elements of the developing relationship. 

(A quote from Lady Elizabeth’s Comet, since it shows that physical attraction existed even in traditional Regencies: 

“How came I to feel so strongly? I had not loved Clanross when I poured laudanum down his throat. My feeling for Clanross was not an overnight flower. It had been growing for some time. When was it planted?
It happened, I reflected, after he started walking the grounds and bathing in the lake and began to feel better and look less wan and sleepless. It is a dreadful thing for a woman of intellect to admit so physical a criterion for love. I wanted to evade the fact but there it was. I was a mere animal after all, drawn by a bright eye and a healthy complexion.”

Sexual intimacy is about many things, including pleasure, power, and vulnerability.  All of those play into the psychology of the developing relationship.

Since a great romance is about two unique characters whom we come to care about deeply, it makes sense that their sexual relationship is equally unique and reflects their individual natures.  Looking at someone and thinking, “Hot, hot, hot!” is all very well, but it’s only one step—and not always the most important one. 

Historically, society was much more aware of the potentially destructive power of sex.  Procreation was essential to the race, but it carried the risks of death and disease.  Smart women didn’t indulge in sex lightly.  Men who wanted to be sure that their heirs were really of their blood wanted faithful wives. 

So a historical heroine is not likely to allow sexual intercourse unless she’s safely married, or in the grip of overwhelming emotion.  In a truly intense situation, she might weighs the pros and cons and decide to risk going ahead despite the consequences.  Or, occasionally, she’s so innocent that she doesn’t quite understand what’s going on.

A marvelous example of this last is in Laura Kinsale’s The Shadow and the Star.  The heroine is a suffocatingly innocent Victorian miss, raised by little old ladies.  Leda Etoile has absolutely no idea of the mechanics of sex, but she does find handsome Samuel very attractive.  In some ways, Samuel Gerard is as innocent as she—except that as a child, he was the victim of vile abuse, and has Huge Issues. 

The story can be read as a treatise on the value of sex education classes, but it is also one of the most power, passionate, heartbreaking consummation scenes I’ve ever read.  (Nor is this the only brilliant First Time scene Kinsale has written.  Her characterization, sensuality, and wordsmithery are superb.) 

Sometimes my characters are married when they first come together.  With luck, it’s a marriage of convenience.  <G>  This is an enduringly popular plot set-up because it takes two people who may be near strangers and throws them together into the same bed, so they must negotiate an acceptable personal relationship.  (The Bargain is a classic MOC.)

I’ve had several of books when the characters are operating under powerful emotions and decide consequences be damned.  In Thunder and Roses, for example, the hero is devastated because he blames himself for a mine collapse that killed a close friend.  So the heroine decides to distract and heal him in the most compelling way she knows.  My heroines are often lower in the class structure than my heroes, and that changes the dynamics some, but even so, sex is never done lightly. 
                                                                                                   
I thought back to some of the more unusual “first time” scenes in my own stories.  In The WIld Child, the heroine, Meriel, is considered mad and she has certainly lived in a way that makes her immune to social strictures, so she sets out to seduce the hero.  Poor Dominic is an honorable man and has several extremely powerful reasons to resist her charms, so he fights his attraction, and Meriel, every inch of the way.

I quite like honorable heroes who don’t necessarily fall into bed easily.  Honorable men also care about consequences, including the risks of intimacy to women they care about.  In The Bartered Bride, the hero and heroine have their First Time under circumstances that offend his very soul.               

I also have a fondness for ‘lost love regained stories, where a couple come together again after long separation.  The combination of love, lust, anger, and fear make for an intense relationship as they try to resolve what separated them in the past.  This intensity makes their intimacy fraught with emotional landmines.  In Silk and Secrets, the hero and heroine married too young, and have been separated for a dozen years for reasons so painful that Juliet can’t even speak them aloud.  He is on the verge of execution before they come together, not wanting to waste what precious hours are left.  Since this is a romance, naturally they survive—and have to deal with the consequences of passionate intensity in a relationship that is as conflicted as it was before. 

Two of my three contemporaries feature reunion scenarios (I told you I liked this set-up).  In The Burning Point, there are huge trust issues that must be resolved.  In The Spiral Path, the protagonists are in the process of getting a divorce when the heroine, who wants desperately to direct a movie from her own script, persuades her soon to be ex-husband to star in it so she can get the necessary financing.  The movie bores into the white hot centers of their troubled souls, and the stress is so great that soon they are sleeping together while saying that it hasn’t officially happened because neither of them can bear to deal with the consequences. 

A friend said that the wedding night in my Veils of Silk was the most different she’d ever seen, since the hero is impotent and their whole marriage of convenience is based on this fact.  And that’s just the beginning of the complications!  For me, these First Time scenes are very complicated to write because they take place on multiple levels of emotion, psychology, and physical reaction.  How does she feel?  How does he feel?  Are there still conflicts and emotional barriers between them?  Will one or both pull back emotionally afterward?  Are their levels of commitment different? 

And then there is writing the actual physical details.  I’m not into extremely clinical, so I try to write scenes that are emotionally engaging and clear enough so that readers will know what’s happening.  Too euphemistic can get silly, too purple and my fellow Wenches my revoke my Wenchly license <g>, and too pornographic will turn off a lot of readers.  (The illustration at the left is one of the most graphic I ever had, since the hero is basically wearing nothing but the heroine.

Not surprisingly, I usually spend days writing and rewriting a consummation scene, layering in emotion and details and trying to make the result worthy of the characters. 

And then there’s the bad-sex scene.  One doesn’t see this often in romances, but it happens.  (Jennifer Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation comes to mind.)  More often, of course, we give our characters great sex.  Why should we make our fantasies as clumsy and awkward as real life? <G>

So what are your favorite consummation scenes?  Which struck you deeply?  Did some go sailing into the wall?  (No titles or authors, please.  We’re a very polite blog.) 

What do you think goes into making a great love scene, especially a First Time?  I'd love to hear--

Mary Jo

Comments

[Maya]

great topic!

and that purple illustration is a lulu - 'wearing little but the heroine' indeed! *snort*

it gives the impression of being a story of ancient rome, with a new caesar being presented with a barbarian slave girl and tossing off his imperial purple robes

[Maggie Robinson]

This post is so timely for me, because I'm writing one of those "lost love regained" stories, which has affected me more somehow than anything else I've worked on. I get to have 2 "first times"---when they're very young, and then when they've been separated a dozen years. There's just so much emotion in both circumstances it's been challenging to write.

I can't think of any particular book that sticks with me, but increasingly I find I'm getting bored with sex scenes, LOL. When they go on for pages and pages I actually skim.

[buggalugs]

This is a great topic, I also get bored with too many sex scenes in a romance, more than 3 and I'm skimming them too.
I love romances with a great story line, Mary Jo I love your Silk series and your Fallen Angels.
I like the two characters to feel so passionately about one another, that they can't help themselves!
I'm sure a well written sex scene has probably given some ladies a few pointers to help with their own sex lives!
Cheers Carol

[Francois]

"Welcome to Temptation" strikes me as a good sex scene rather than a bad one, in that it is well-written, true to character and sets them up for a journey. And its very entertaining!

Frankly, those perfect from the start couples leave me a little cold. Not that I'm necessarily into bad sex for realism's sake - but I do like an interesting journey.

[Jane O]

I too tend to skip over most of the sex scenes, especially the ones that go on and on. (This makes some books very short!) In general, I'm more interested in the emotion than in the technique, and I find suggestion more erotic than finger placement. Think of the beach scene in the movie FROM HERE TO ETERNITY. Would it have been more or less effective if it had been more explicit?

[theo]

I read this last night but was off to bed and I've had a bit of time now to think about it.

I don't remember any one scene that sticks out in my mind. What I do wonder is, how many of us who write, bring our first time into the scene somehow? My first time was about the worst thing that ever happened to me. Date rape and all of the repercussions that went with it, and I was only 17. Consequently, my heroines are either married or standing at the church door (figuratively) and the emotions shared are love and desire. And they're erotic as well, though not necessarily explicit because it's the emotions that make them so.

But none are the brief coupling kind or the 'gee, we just met let's roll in the sheets and then kiss off' because I can't bring my self to do that to a character that lives so vividly in my mind. Does that make sense? Probably not.

[Kalen Hughes]

***Sexual intimacy is about many things, including pleasure, power, and vulnerability. All of those play into the psychology of the developing relationship.***

THIS! This is what it's all about for me when I write a sex scene.

And I think Mary Jo meant "the sex was bad" rather than "the sex scene was bad" in Welcome to Temptation (I LOVE that scene; the bit with the lamp just kills me!!!).

[maryjoputney]

From MJP:

Maya, I hadn't thought of that illustration as looking like a Roman orgy, but you're right, it does. :) Sadly, they did a different stepback painting originally that I liked a lot better. It was a scene from the book, in a theater, wearing a lot more clothes, and conveying a lot more romantic tension, I thought. Ah, publishing....

Maggie, I see that you share my taste for the lost-love stories. So much emotion! Not easy to write such scenes, but if done right, they really resonate.

Carol, I'm glad you enjoyed the Silk and Fallen Angels books. (BTW, my new Regency historical series for Kensington is now officially the Lost Lords series. Glad to have that settled!)

As for women getting lessons from romances--a well known female gyn in Baltimore got national headlines a few years back because she would suggest to her patients with problems that reading romances might be helpful. Smart woman!

Francois--as Kalen said, I didn't mean that the scene in Welcome to Temptation was a "bad" sex scene, but that it was a "bad-sex" scene. And because it was Jennifer Crusie, it was beautifully done and exactly right.

Theo, what you say makes perfect sense. I'm pretty sure that all fiction writers incorporate personal emotion into their writing, and the more intense the feelings, the more likely they are to show up. Date rape (or any rape) is seriously traumatic, so it's no surprise that it will effect one's writing. Luckily I've never had that experience, but there are other things that I absolutely will not do in a book because of my personal feelings.

A good book is spun out of our hopes, fears, and imaginations. If it's just from the left brain, it's not going to be terribly moving.

Mary Jo

[Janga]

There are two scenes that I always mention when this subject comes up in discussions of romance: the hero's emotional surrender scene in an old Nora Roberts category, The Return of Rafe MacKade and the scene beteen Michael and Catherine in your Shattered Rainbows, Mary Jo. Both scenes are richly sensual, emotionally intense, and vital to the characters' development.

I am another reader who finds myself skimming or skipping sex scenes more and more often since so many of them seem to be generic rather than central to the particular story. I am convinced that some could be lifted from one book and inserted into another and no one would ever notice so long as the appropriate name changes took place.

[Michelle]

An author who I think writes emotionally rich and beautiful love scenes is Mary Balogh. One example that comes to mind is her traditional regency A Precious Jewel in which the heroine is a prostitute and the hero has ISSUES with sex. Each one of the consumation scenes are different and show how their relationship is changing and becoming even more emotionally challenging for each.

Another example is Slightly Dangerous. The differences between the first and second love scenes show how their relationship has deepened emotionally.

I also think the consummation scene in Shadow and the Star is so emotionally moving - for both. The scene where the hero's guardian is "comforting" the heroine immediately after the consummation because the hero would never let her do that for him also gets me every time.

[Susan/DC]

I always point to "Thunder & Roses" as the pattern card for successfully building sexual tension before a stitch of clothing is discarded. Those one-a-day kisses that Nicholas demands are extraordinarily erotic, yet they are "just" kisses. When the actual consummation scene occurs, it represents a true climax because the tension has been building for pages before it.

Must reread Crusie's WTT because I don't remember a "bad sex" scene. The book of hers where I do remember one is WTT's sequel, "Faking It" (that title can be read on a number of levels).

Agree with Michelle about Mary Balogh. Others say she doesn't have "hot" sex scenes, but I think she's wonderful at having her sex scenes embody (so to speak) the changes in the hero/heroine's relationship. "A Precious Jewel" is a good example, but the ones I especially love are found in "The Temporary Wife" and "The Notorious Rake". In the former Anthony advertises for a wife to spite his father, but his body betrays his true feelings for Charity long before his mind accepts it. And TNR is a trad Regency which upends a number of the rules for the genre, including a tempestuous love scene when the H/H first meet in the midst of a thunderstorm.

[theo]

Mary Jo,

I have a left brain?? You'd never know it if you heard my husband describe me :lol:

theo

[Elaine McCarthy]

I like it when the hero is resisting sex with the heroine (not that she's necessarily trying to seduce him) but finally can't.

I don't usually remember the consummation scenes that vividly, though the one in Lord of Scoundrels stands out because Dain is afraid he'll hurt Jess and it's due to that flawed vision of himself as a big lout, so it works on a lot of levels. It's a good example of what makes a scene work for me; something changes. By the time he's gone to the brink and chickened out a few times, the reader tension is so huge that when he finally breaks through and Does It, it's explosive.

I don't recall a "bad sex" scene in Welcome to Temptation, but there's one in Crusie's Faking It where the heroine fakes an orgasm! I don't think I've ever seen that in any other romance novel. And the hero wasn't fooled a bit.

What I've noticed a lot in books I've been reading recently is what I'd call MapQuest sex scenes. Turn left there, travel south for x number of units, give the woman an orgasm orally before The Final Act, etc. etc. Skim? I SKIP!

I totally agree that not enough attention is paid to the real-life consequences of unprotected sex in pre-penicillin eras, pre-birth-control eras. All those rakes, and not a one of them infected with anything? It didn't bother me when I first started reading historical romances, but now that I've encountered hundreds of such situations, my suspension of disbelief is worn out!

Oh, I do remember one very different sort of a consummation scene, in Amanda Quick's Mistress. The heroine's so innocent she thinks she's killed the hero by having sex with him! I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair.

[Michelle]

Mary Jo,

You mentioned your Kensington historical series will be called the lost lords. When will the first one be published???

[Tal]

I pretty much think authors get it right with the sex scenes, the one that sticks out in my head is Keeper of the Dream, by Penelope Willaimson, it's in the days, with the English were at war with Wales, after a particularly rough consumation, she calls him a "dolt", It wasn't romantic at all, that's later. but I enjoyed the humor... I have some difficulty when the heroine is not a virgin.. widows, are o.k, multiple lovers forget it, that's just me... Tal

[theo]

But Elaine, I read romance novels for the far-fetched, not real life situations and the happily ever after ending because I want to suspend as much belief as possible and lose myself in a world where anything (short of unicorns and those happen on occasion) is possible. And in romance novels, it's possible for the hero to be beautiful and flawed and germ free :)

theo

[Louis]

What is left to the imagination may often be much more intriguing than the written words.

[talpianna]

Mary Jo-- Lost Lords? Were they left in a handbag, perhaps?

Miss Prism: In a moment of mental abstraction, for which I never can forgive myself, I deposited the manuscript in the basinette, and placed the baby in the hand-bag.

Jack. [Who has been listening attentively.] But where did you deposit the hand-bag?

Miss Prism. Do not ask me, Mr. Worthing.

Jack. Miss Prism, this is a matter of no small importance to me. I insist on knowing where you deposited the hand-bag that contained that infant.

Miss Prism. I left it in the cloak-room of one of the larger railway stations in London.

Jack. What railway station?

Miss Prism. [Quite crushed.] Victoria. The Brighton line. [Sinks into a chair.]

Andy Rooney, doing one of his satiric rants on romance novels many years ago, said they contained "not explicit sex, but explicit mush." I must say that I prefer it.

What Elaine calls "MapQuest sex scenes," I call "instructions for replacing the float in the toilet tank." "While holding A in place with one hand, insert tab C into slot B and screw tightly...."

---The REAL Tal

[Tal]

Jez,,, easy about the name all ready.. they happen to be the first three letters in MY name too.. I have been known as Tal my whole life.. as my kids would say.. chill
TAL

[maryjoputney]

From MJP:

"....so many of them seem to be generic rather than central to the particular story. I am convinced that some could be lifted from one book and inserted into another and no one would ever notice so long as the appropriate name changes took place....."

Sadly true. And boring.

MIchelle, the first of the Lost Lords books is scheduled for July '09. It's done and I'm working on the second. No date on that one, but hopefully less than a year later.

I think we have quite enough room for two Tals on this list. :) Think of how many Susans we have! All unique and interesting, just like a good character.

Mary Jo

[Michelle]

Thanks, Mary Jo! I look forward to reading the first Lost Lord book next summer.

[kay]

Late coming to this discussion. We have a meeting next week in which we are to discuss certain romance writers. Of course, only one of them was historical. I chose to reread some early Amanda Quick books and in both of the books I read, her first time wasn't anything for the heroine to write home about. If fact, I thought they were rather funny. I actually enjoy an occasional first time in books where things don't turn out gloriously. And, I also find myself skimming page after page of sex scenes, just how much can you do in five pages?

[kay]

Late coming to this discussion. We have a meeting next week in which we are to discuss certain romance writers. Of course, only one of them was historical. I chose to reread some early Amanda Quick books and in both of the books I read, her first time wasn't anything for the heroine to write home about. If fact, I thought they were rather funny. I actually enjoy an occasional first time in books where things don't turn out gloriously. And, I also find myself skimming page after page of sex scenes, just how much can you do in five pages?

[kay]

Late coming to this discussion. We have a meeting next week in which we are to discuss certain romance writers. Of course, only one of them was historical. I chose to reread some early Amanda Quick books and in both of the books I read, her first time wasn't anything for the heroine to write home about. If fact, I thought they were rather funny. I actually enjoy an occasional first time in books where things don't turn out gloriously. And, I also find myself skimming page after page of sex scenes, just how much can you do in five pages?

[talpianna]

Kay---"What I tell you three times is true?" *evil mole grin*

[Robin]

I have to agree with the person who mentioned the sex scene between Catherine and Michael in "Shattered Rainbows"--it was beautifully written, and fit in perfectly with the story. Too often, I've read books where the sex scenes seem somewhat incidental to the story. Not that I have a problem with sex scenes, per se, but I like to know the motivations behind what characters do or don't do. At any rate, I'm glad to know the scheduled publishing date of the first novel in the new series. Question: will there be any reissues in the next few months?

[Virginia]

I enjoy Janet Evanovich's comment that writing a sex scene requires, "a bucket of M&Ms and two glasses of cheap champagne, but, hey, that's just me!"

Being of the era of readers whose first reasonably explicit consummation scene was in Lady Chatterley's Lover, followed by the one in Mary McCarthy's The Group, I'm afraid that I skip most of them.

It hardly ever harms the rest of the book to skip them. Sometimes it actually helps (to be precise, I'm thinking of Dial M for Mischief, the most recent book by Kasey Michaels, who is an author I thoroughly enjoy).

IOW, I agree with the previous poster who said that in all too many books, they are basically interchangeable. I've sometimes suspected that an occasional series author has written one and just pulls it out, does the cut-and-paste routine with her word processor, and changes the names. For one thing, a lot of them have almost the same page count from one HP to the next :)

[Cristina XOXO]

+IHS+

I haven't actually thought about my favourite sex scenes, but I think the last one in Jo's "Forbidden" is great! The heroine was abused by her perverted first husband and the hero was a virgin the first time they ever had sex. It made for awkward intimate moments (but not "bad sex") after the First Time, but the final scene is just perfect! The hero is able to intuit just what the heroine needs, and what they have between them is both passionate and healing.

[maryjoputney]

From MJP:

I see we all have examples of powerful sex scenes that work (sometimes by NOT working well :) Amanda Quick has done that beautifully).

All grist for the mill, since the historical I'm working on now is going to have a dilly of a First Time when I get there....

Mary Jo