by Mary Jo
Several weeks ago, I attended a tea held by the officers wives club at Ft. Meade, which occupies a large chunk of territory between Baltimore and Washington. Kathryn Falk, founder of Romantic Times magazine (now the RT Book club— http://romantictimes.com/ ) is a long-time supporter of the troops, and she told a romance-loving member of the club that she’d be happy to be a guest at a meeting. Since Kathryn knew that the area is home to a good number of romance writers, she suggested inviting more of us, and An Event was born.
Though opinions vary dramatically about the war, just about everyone supports the troops and their families, so the event inspired much goodwill. My publisher, Ballantine, contributed 80 books each for two different Ballantine authors, and other 
publishers also made book contributions. Each tea table was presided over by the wife of a senior officer who established a theme and provided refreshments. The lady in charge of my table could easily go for a second career in catering; she had made half a dozen different treats, including tiny cupcakes with icing flowers on top, heart shaped tarts, and more. And they tasted even better than they looked. (The cupcakes on the right aren't hers, but they give the idea. <g>)
But below the trappings of a first rate party, I also sensed the bonds between these 
women. Military life is hard, with long deployments, abrupt moves, and its own culture. I got the sense that these spouses and family survive and flourish because of their mutual support (as well as innate strength.)
But I have little experience of the military. Though I looked up some books on the subject ( http://tinyurl.com/yr4b8h & http://tinyurl.com/2v55ru ), there is no substitute
for real experience , so I decided to ask an authority on the subject about what it’s like to be a military wife. Here is a statement from the woman who did a lot of the organizing for our tea: Kimberly A. Lowe, Major, Air Force Reserves:
Like most college freshmen, I pledged a sorority in the hope of finding life long friends. I did not realize then that it would be another 15 years before I would join another sisterhood that would provide me with the life long friends that I sought in college.
After graduation, I moved to Boston as a Lieutenant, then Germany as a Captain. As a 
single officer, I was footloose and fancy free. Although I could be deployed at any time, I was only responsible for myself, not a family.
But my sorority sisters' lives were changing. Two of my "sisters" married and had children. I felt abandoned. But my turn was next. From Germany, I moved to the Pentagon, met my future husband, and married him at Ft Myers. Nine months later, I was a mother working midnights shifts in a command post. I chose my family over my career and never looked back. I joined the ranks of my sisters as a wife and mother. But something still set us apart - the career paths of our 
husbands.
My sorority sisters bought houses in manicured neighborhoods; they started second careers; their children attended private schools. They bought new SUVs as I was shipping my Civic to Amsterdam for my husband's assignment to NATO (European streets do not accomodate American cars!).
For the first time in my life, I was entering a new sisterhood alone - the sisterhood of military spouses. I found common ground with new acquaintances - damaged furniture, deployed husbands, and foreign neighbors. In fact, I was sad to leave after three years overseas. I felt a connection with these spouses that I had never felt before, even with my sorority sisters.
I now live on a large post near Baltimore, Maryland - my house is the size of my sorority sisters' garages. But I interact with spouses from the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, and even the Coast Guard. I use my leadership skills from the Air Force to organize luncheons to improve morale during ongoing deployments.
More important, I use my personal experience as a military spouse to reach out to 
those in need in these tough times. Some of my neighbors are Martha Stewart, Suze Ormond, and Cindy Crawford rolled into one. I am not. But I am accepted for who I am - a military spouse - and for the unique talents that I can contribute to our military community. The Secret handshake for our "Sisterhood of the Service" is to be oneself. And that is the best lesson one could learn in life.
Kim
I originally thought of this blog as a meditation on sisterhood. Someday I’ll do more on the subject, including what it was like to 'follow the drum' during the Napoleonic Wars, and also the sisterhood of writers.
But for today, I’ll concentrate on our contemporary Sisterhood of the Service. Thanks so much, Kim. Being part of a military family has special challenges and special rewards. As an American citizen, I’m grateful to all of you.
Mary Jo