Three Good Things

by Mary Jo   

There’s lots of warm fuzzy sentiment in the air just now, most of it generated by the multiple holidays at this season.  (Happy Winter Solstice to everyone!)  There’s lots of gatherings with family and friends, often presents and parties, and waaaaaaay too much unhealthy but delicious foodand drink on offer. 

It’s a good season—but for many of us, stress levels are off the scale.  I had my hair done today, and my lovely and efficient hair stylist was dealing with the considerable demands of being a business owner, wife, mother, grandmother, serious church volunteer, providing refreshments for clients and providing meals for her staff.  She was two clients behind when she finished me, and it was still morning. Part of this was because a long time client had to be squeezed in because of a death in the family.  My stylist will survive and even enjoy the holidays, but relaxed?  Not hardly!

And there are worse stresses, like the client who had just lost her nephew.  Like the writer friend who posted that her family has just found out that her son-in- law’s return from Iraq has been moved further away—and his unit will redeploy there after six months back in the States.   

Even with less dramatic circumstances, holidays can be a letdown that don’t live up to our hopes and expectations.  Our nearest and dearest can get on our nerves, and family relationships that are already tense can go into meltdown.  Not to mention the traditional arguments about whose family to visit, and the conflicts in mixed religion households. 

So I’m here to offer, if not a cure, at least a palliative.  <G>  Jo recently mentioned a study she’d read about that showed that even pessimistic people started feeling happier if they did exercises that required them to write down positive things in their lives, events and people they were grateful for, times when they felt good about themselves.  Consciously appreciating and thinking positive even raised their happiness scale six months down the road.

A simple form of this exercise is to relax and think of three good things that happened to you today.  Maybe you can do it when you go to bed, rather than thinking of all the stuff that needs to be done tomorrow.  Only three good things. 

Here are some examples.

1) Two days ago, I got around to hanging my bird feeder, and all of a sudden I have beautiful birds munching a foot and a half from my dining room window.  This morning I glanced out the next window, and there in the midst of lush rhododendron greenery was a brilliant red cardinal, less than five feet away from me and looking like a Christmas card as he waited patiently for his turn.

Actually, maybe he wasn’t patient, maybe he was plotting a hostile takeover of the birdfeeder and a terrorization of finches, but he sure looked pretty!  Often we get too busy to appreciate nature, but even a single image like this can leave me smiling.  Look for nature, and enjoy it. 

2) Another good thing: while on the way to my hairdresser, I tuned to a radio show where a woman called in on a rather scratchy cell phone to say that she was a teacher taking her students into Gettysburg to see Charlotte’s Web, and could the DJ play something the kids could sing to?  His voice warm, he said, “Of course!”  Within seconds, the first notes of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer were sounding through my car.  The thought of a whole busload of little kids happily singing along put another smile on my face.

3) After I left the hair salon, looking as spiffy as I’m capable of <g>, I had a holiday lunch with a friend.  Most of the restaurants around were jam packed with people doing the same, and offices having holiday parties, so we ended up in a new little Italian restaurant I’d never seen before.  Good food, good company, a good time.

I could go on—lots more than three good things happened today.  (Along with a few not so good, but we won’t go there. <g>)  But thinking of the good stuff makes me feel lighter and happier.

So that’s your assignment for the holiday.  Think of three good things every day.  Maybe more.  And perhaps that will lift your mood, relieve some stress, and make the holidays—and regular days—easier and more enjoyable. 

And yes, you can count a perfect piece of chocolate as A Very Good Thing!

Mary Jo

Comments

[Maggie]

I'll think about yesterday, since the only good thing that's happened so far is that I woke up. Wait a minute. That's a VERY good thing.

And come to think of it, my husband brought home a Christmas plate from his office with a tiny loaf of poppy seed bread I just had for my breakfast, something I love and never make myself. Good thing #2.

And I made a list of things I have to do before Sunday. I remembered everything (I think) and I don't feel overwhelmed. Good thing #3, and I've only been awake thirty minutes.

And, good thing #4 (I'm beginning to feel like Martha Stewart)... finding the Word Wenches this year to start my day in a thought-provoking, sometimes educational, always entertaining manner! Happy Holidays to you all!

[Janga]

A lovely idea, Mary Jo!

I had breakfast this morning with two of my grandnephews (three and five)--Good thing #1.

The five year old sang his favorite Christmas song that begins

'Twas the night befor Christmas
my true love gave to me
a party in a pear tree.

This was not the first time he has sung the gem, but every time he does, I burst into laughter--Good thing #2.

The three year old had emergency surgery just before Thanksgiving, but he is super OK now--Good Thing (the best thing) #3.

If I do this throughout the day, I just may survive the last few bits of shopping I have to do on this rainy day in Georgia.

[susannac in alabama]

It's a lovely idea, Mary Jo! I try to enjoy the little things every day, because there's just so much there if you look.

Good thing #1 - my nieces - 4 & 6 - spent most of yesterday with me, watching videos, coloring, baking and eating cookies. They're delightful girls. The youngest periodically climbs into my lap, hugs me and says, "I wuv you, Aunt Susanna!" Can't top that.

Good thing #2 - All my Christmas shopping is done! That includes the shopping I did for my mom and dad, since they've been sick lately.

Good thing #3 - The fog that has wisped and curled over the fields and roads lately. It's both lovely and spooky, giving me lots of story ideas.

Good thing #4 - Story ideas! I entertain myself endlessly making up stories to use whatever I'm seeing at the moment - fog, a sheer cliff, a profusion of blossoms, a sunset so beautiful it hurts to look at it. It's a wonderful thing to have an imaginative mind.

Happy holidays to all of you :).

[Nina P]

Mary Jo... what a wonderful idea. Let’s see... I’m pretty sure I can’t keep it to three.

#1. I woke up in my own bed this morning! and will do so for the next 10 days. (I've been on the road since Thanksgiving, save the weekends)

#2. Drake, my GSD, pounced me awake this am. Nothing like being slobbered into consciousness by a very energetic, 7 month old, 65 pound German Shepard puppy.

#3. I just celebrated 20 years with my husband, a very gallant knight who happily defends (and cleans up) the castle.

#4. Nearly every day that I was away my daughter either called or sent me a funny email card.

… and #5, I had the Word Wenches and the wenchling community to keep me sane while out on the lonely road. Thank you!

Hugs and Christmas joy to everyone. May you know peace this Holiday Season.

--the littlest wenchling, glad to be home.

[Edith]

Good idea, Mary Jo!
But what about those of us who get off on kvetching?
Hmm, let's see:
I put up a bird feeder last year and attracted a mass of cardinals, a yell of buejays,and a whole lot more colorful happy birdies.
They, in turn, attracted a pair of redtail hawks. Birds with shoulders, and appetites.
And so I don't feed the birds anymore because I don't like running a hot/cold buffet.

But seriously, I'm always up to something new. I will try to think of three good things a day.

Here they are today:
my friendships
my family
new babies
dogs
and you guys
There's lots more!
I hope you have them too.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

[Susan Wilbanks]

Three good things, from the past 24 hours:

1. Yesterday on my lunch hour I visited a wonderful used bookstore, complete with three plump cats, and walked out with two new research books.

2. This morning I found little girl tights at my local drugstore, replacing the ones my husband bought at Babies-R-Us a few weeks ago and I sorta kinda accidentally threw away. (In my defense, there was some empty packaging from other things he'd bought in the bag, so I thought it was all trash.) The Walgreen's find saves me from having to fight the crowds at Babies-R-Us, for which I'm intensely grateful.

3. There's chocolate in the break room from one of our vendors.

[Lois]

Oh my Kitty tends to give me a few good things everyday to consider. LOL :)

Lois

[maryjoputney]

How nice to read about everyone's good things for the day! Edith, if you enjoy kvetching, you can list a nice kvetch among your day's total of good things. :)

Pets are usually good for providing lots of good moments every day.

Mary Jo, understanding the desire not to provide a birdie buffet to the hawks. Let 'em hunt on their own.

[maryjoputney]

From MJP:

My bird feeder has been up for two days, and already the squirrels have knocked over my ceramic goose and also the platform I put out for the ground feeding birds. I think the Good Thing that squirrels celebrate every day is how cute they are. Think of how much less tolerant we'd be if they looked like Norway rats!

Mary Jo

[RevMelinda]

Three Very Good Things:
1. Shattered Rainbows
2. Viscount Vagabond/Devil's Delilah
3. Stealing Sophie

Three Better Things: The creative, classy--and kind--Wenches who wrote them!

[Diane Perkins]

This is a wonderful idea, Mary Jo!
Three good things.
I went shopping with my daughter, always a pleasure.
My friend had a breast biopsy today but got through it well and expects good results.
Another friend sold to Mills & Boon Historical!
Cheers and Merry Christmas,
Diane

Read Diane's Regency Christmas novella, "A Twelfth Night Tale" by Diane Gaston in Mistletoe Kisses.

[maryjoputney]

Diane--what a particular nice list of Good Things--especially your friend's good outlook, and the other friend's first sale. YAYYYY!

Mary Jo

[LorettaChase]

All the holiday activity you speak of makes me late commenting on a terrific, much needed and appreciated post, Mary Jo.

I watched my grandniece eat her first birthday cake by fistfuls (but left before the--er--consequences). Listened to wonderful music by an artist I recently discovered, Misia. Watched a terrific BBC DVD on Egypt.

[Julia]

This is all very positive! Check out the blog I started this year based on this idea. Feedback and links are welcome. Link up if you or someone you know has a blog with the same concept. Cheers, http://3for365.blogspot.com/