I am on a quest.
(I mean, other than to finish my manuscript in the next few days!)
I propose we find another word to replace a commonly used one: Deadline.
Think about it. Dead...line. What does that conjure for you? ~eeeuuuww~
Deadline, what IS that! Why do they call it that? And apparently I have to MEET this thing.
Some commonly heard phrases:
"When’s your deadline?"
"Meet your deadline."
"I’ve got to meet my deadline."
Meet it where? In a dark alley? Does it wear a big black cloak, is it tall, will it be surrounded in mysterious fog? Will I have to look away–look away when it slowly turns....
Author wakes up and sees Deadline has arrived
Isn’t there something ELSE we can call this phenomenon, this moment, this event, this contractual requirement? Now, I will admit that I’m one of those who writes better, faster, cleaner when the flame is turned up under me, so Deadline at its most ominous and looming has its advantages. Still...maybe there are some alternatives.
Webster’s Collegiate Tenth Dictionary says:
dead-line \(a few squiggly symbols)\ 1: a line drawn within or around a prison that a prisoner passes at the risk of being shot
Whaaaaat???
I did not make that up. That is the Number One definition of deadline. Go look for yourselves.
Has anyone ever noticed this before? Okay, now I am really panicking...
Let us proceed to the number two definition. Quickly.
2. a: a date or time before which something must be done
That’s more like it. But what if that Something isn’t done? This question is often asked by authors. And the dictionary helpfully provides the explanation:
2 b: the time after which copy is not accepted for a particular issue of a publication
What!! Nobody told me that! As in, not accepted ever? As in, how about another week, another six hours, can I send the first half while I wildly finish the second half...? (been there, done that).
We DEFINITELY need a new word. This one depresses the heck out of me now (prisoner?).
Let me grab Roget’s Thesaurus off the shelf (old style, which looks like it has Lots More Words):
dead duck – oops, sorry, not that one...
deadline:
Boundary 235.3
Crucial Moment 129.5
Boundary: Frontier, border, borderland,... marches... outskirts, outpost....Pillars of Hercules??....three-mile or twelve-mile limit (I’ll take twelve, please, it sounds like it gives me more time)..."Thus far and no farther" (yes that works too).
Crucial moment: Timeliness, occasion...hmm.... Crisis (now we’re getting somewhere!), critical point, crunch (very expressive), climacteric (no thank you), turning point (three per book, yes, we professionals call them TPs), emergency (also a contender), kairos (whuzzat), pregnant moment (umm....), moment of truth (possibilities), nick of time (this one applies to me a lot), eleventh hour, zero hour (NOW we’re getting somewhere!), target date....and back to deadline.
So now we have some interesting alternatives:
Boundary Line (can it be stretched?)
Frontier (endless time allotted, good)
Twelve-Mile Limit (accommodating)
Crucial Moment (tight)
Crunch (tighter)
Emergency (all-nighter is necessary)
Moment of Truth (4 a.m. on all-nighter)
Nick of Time (editor doesn’t need it quite yet)
Eleventh Hour (just beginning the all-nighter)
Zero Hour (send that thing in 59 minutes or else)
Target Date (ah, back to some breathing room)
So which word would you choose to replace the Dreaded Deadline?
Or does that word motivate you when nothing else will?
Perhaps you can think of an even better one, in which case, go for it! I’ve got to get back to my book. The final crunch-time-eleventh-hour-zero-hour is approaching!