“Is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

            Some of you have surely attended sff (science fiction and fantasy) cons so you can skip this post, but for the rest of you, here’s the tale of my weekend at Balticon, a large regional con held in Baltimore. 

           Part of the fun is the amazing contrast with romance writers conferences. RWA gatherings are virtually all women, business-like, dress for success, writing sessions that have been prepared well in advance.  SFF cons are family affairs from grizzled old geeks to babes in arms, casual jeans or lavish costumes.  There are sessions on manga, movies, costuming and gaming, writing—and Regency dancing.

            

           There is a merchandise room with new and used books, many sff but great research books as well.  Plus jewelry and crafts with sff flair.  Do you want a handmade sword to carry at your side as you fight your way through trolls? You’ll find one here!  Or a feathered mask to wear at a masked ball. Cons also have art shows that feature the work of professional and amateur artists, most of the pieces for sale.  Some of it is truly stunning. 

          

          If you’re on a panel, no advance preparation required. Just show up with opinions, and all writers have those!  You find out what you’ll be doing maybe a week in advance.  You can easily be assigned to half a dozen panels or more—and the online form will ask if there is anyone you flatly refuse to share a podium with. <g>

         

          At the end of one of my panels I was approached by a tall fellow who gave me a dollar bill that had been exquisitely folded into the shape of a heart.  He said it was to make up for the royalties I’d lost by him buying all my books used.  <g>  His day job was with the Department of the Army and I suspect he wouldn’t have looked out of place in a uniform, but at Balticon, he was just another sff lover in jeans and tee-shirt.

            

          I adore the costumes worn by perhaps a quarter of the attendees.  There are space aliens and masked men in black capes, small children dressed as kittens and medieval wenches whose bustiers provide dramatic cleavage.  (No, none were Word Wenches!)  No Xenas this year, but I've seen them in the past.

You’ll see lovely young elves with pointed ears visible under their shining hair and fairies with wings.  A lot of wings were feather, but I spotted one fairy whose wings were made of taped CDs. Talk about being born aloft on wings of song! 

            

          For us, the high point of the con was the Klingon feast put on by the Klingon Battle Fleet, a fan group that really, really likes Klingons.  For those of you who aren’t Star Trek viewers, the Klingons are big hairy aliens with ridged foreheads, deep voices, and an intense warrior culture built around war and honor.  They have absolutely no sense of humor, which is why they’re hilarious. <G> 

          

          Since my SO and I know way too much about Star Trek, we agreed that we wouldn’t eat anything that was still moving.  Despite the rather alarming menu, the Marriott hotel was catering the buffet and the targ meat looked reassuringly liked sliced roast beef and the katterpod beans were not overcooked.  Better yet, there was chocolate fudge cake, and it wasn’t moving.  (Who knew Klingons loved chocolate???)       

            

          I chatted a bit in the buffet line with one of the warriors.  He said that after five years of practice, he could apply the complicated layers of make-up and prostheses in about forty-five minutes.  Being a Klingon takes real dedication.  I rather fancied the warrior who wore wire-rimmed glasses and fixed the technical gear.  <g>  There are female Klingons, too, and they can do an intimidation move with the best of them. 

         

          Best of all was the entertainment, which started with a well rendered version of “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Klingon General,” and moved through poetry, mock fights, and a bamboo cutting demonstration with a very real, very sharp, Japanese sword.  There was even a Warrior Stomp that seemed to be a Klingon version of a line dance.  <g> By the end, Gilbert & Sullivan and Alfred Lord Tennyson were probably spinning in their graves, but a good time was had by all.

       

   This was the 40^th Balticon, and some of the people running it now were founders 40 years ago when they were college age or even younger.  Fandom is an amazing community—warm and tolerant and accepting, and its members tend to be very bright people.  The laidback gentlemen with the mechanical critter sitting on his shoulder and bobbing its head might be a top intelligence analyst for NSA.  The motherly woman who helps you out when your registration badge isn’t in the box may be a civil engineer. 

            Though these folks may be here to play, they have brains and curiosity.  There are hard science sessions on physics, biology and chemistry, especially as they might apply to other worlds and alien races.  Fandom is a great place to live, or just to visit, and cons are places where hardworking people can come and be playful and creative. 

          Live long and prosper!

Comments

[Cathy]

I love Star Trek. I even love the Next Generation. Klingons are funny, Vulcans are cooler.

[Susan Wilbanks]

That Klingon feast sounds like so much fun! I don't know what this says about me, but I had *such* a crush on Worf back when Next Gen and DS9 were new. (DS9 is the pinnacle of Trek, IMHO.)

[Nina P]

MJ! I'm so painfully sorry I missed this! Not only were you in my "neck of the woods" but I am an avid, avid ST and ST:TNG fan. But alas, I was at home consuming TMS. Love it!

When I was a teen, (hold on, I'm about to date myself) I purposefully adopted Mr. Spock's view on the usefulness of emotions. Practiced it with daily fervor. Got me a ton of dates -- three to be exact.

Nina
-------------
MJP: A romance writer and ST fan. Wickedly powerful! Gene Rodenberry is turning green his grave. So be it! :-)
----------------

Would it be out of place to being a blog thread on MJ’s new book?

[Nina P]

Hi Susan: With you on Worf. His deep, husky voice. Dark, broad hands. The Klingon mating rituals that were so very.... never mind.

I was enthralled with Picard's "Number One" Oh, god, those molten eyes and that Cheshire "come to me" grin he so easily flashed... to every woman that walked by. But somehow, I always wanted to be one of them.

Peter David's Imzadi and Imzadi II sparked my notions to write. To date, I'm not sure if that is a good thing or bad. Oh well.

For me, writing is like birthing a babe. It's in there and it's gotta come out. So it's back to my writing chamber with me.

[Patricia Rice]

from Pat Rice:

I'd love to be able to see one of these sff cons someday. I've only watched Star Trek through my husband's incessant remote clicking, but I think I've pretty much watched the whole series that way. I, too, prefer the Vulcans, but what the heck... who could resist a Klingon line dance?

[Mary Jo Putney]

From Mary Jo:

I knew there would be some other Trekkers here! Who couldn't like Worf's gorgeous deep voice and incredible sense of honor? I also think that DS9 is probably the best of the Trek series--the Bajoran material as a whole planet recovers from a painful occupation is really powerful.

Still, I'm deeply fond of Next Generation. Jean-Luc Picard--be still, my heart!!! I loved them all, including Data's cat.

Nina, I didn't realize you were around Balticon! Maybe next year we can have a cup of coffee there. I'm glad you were home enjoying The Marriage Spell.

Since we're so new, we don't really have a policy about threads on authors' book, though we do have a general no-flame policy (which most certainly applies to We Wenches.) I shouldn't think anyone would object to some comments about books being posters here. Would they, Pat?

As to the Klingon line dance--it had to be seen to be believed. :)

MJP

[Jo Beverley]

SF Cons are fun, aren't they, Mary Jo. I'm going to be at V-Con in September in Vancouver.

I want romance readers to start Romance Cons along a similar line. Run locally by reader volunteers, just to have fun.

Jo :)

[Tonda]

I've been to a bunch of these out here on the Left Coast. My favorite thing was when BayCon overlapped with the Northern California Ren Faire, and the Klingons would invade Elizabethan England. . . so much fun to watch (and very much like some of the old Trek episodes).

You HAVE all seen "Trekkies", haven't you? My friends and I saw it in a double feature with "Galaxy Quest". We laughed so hard the couple in front of us got up and moved.

[Susan Wilbanks]

I should've learned by now that I'm *never* the only one who thinks some particular actor or character is hot, though I'm often in the minority! (For another geeky example, I never could see what was so sexy about Viggo's Aragorn or Orlando's Legolas, but Sean Bean as Boromir or Karl Urban as Eomer? Yummy.)

[Val Jones]

Anyone for Voyager? After all, the captain was a woman! Girl Power! :)

[Cara King]

I love SF cons! I can't wait till Worldcon this summer -- it'll be the first Worldcon I've attended.

BTW, I too adore Deep Space 9 -- though I think the original show is still my favorite. (Even the terrible episodes are entertaining!) I've loved all the shows, even Enterprise, which was great and highly underrated!

BTW, I thought Boromir, Aragorn, and Legolas were all hot! :-)

Cara

[Tonda]

"but Sean Bean as Boromir or Karl Urban as Eomer? Yummy."

This applies to you, me, and every woman I know. *GRIN*

[Cathy]

I guess we're all about being honest about our other guilty pleasures. Mine being ST. DS9 is way cool... this from a woman who thought nothing could ever replace the original ST. Love Next Gen. If I had to pick a guy to love--with no rock stars on the ships--Jean-Luc-Picard comes the closest to my idea of hot (which tends to lean on the side of weird, I have to admit.)

No one else in my family gets ST. My husband (a Vulcan) only remembers the Tribble episode. My 16-year old son will watch Next Gen. and DS9 with me, but thinks original ST is lame and loaded with bad acting . I obviously haven't raised him right. ;o)

[selina]

I cannot believe I did not know that Peter David wrote another Imzadi book. The whole reason I watched TNG was the Troi/Riker ship. Well, not the whole reason - but I never got in to a series unless there's the hint of shipping between two characters I like. I've watched too may series I'd never watch simply to see if they ever develop that dynamic (JAG, for instance.) I'll be ordering that ASAP ...

Anyone watch the new Battlestar Galactica? I'm hugely in to the Lee / Kara ship and "that" scene in Scar (2.15) was probably the hottest thing I've ever seen on basic cable. I really like their characters and that ambiguous "what is this" dynamic between them; it also doesn't hurt that Jamie Bamber is so beautiful :)

[talpianna]

Just one caveat: Never have your taxes done by a CPA you meet at a ST party. I had mine done by a guy at a party to watch my friend and neighbor Bruce's ST:TNG episode on a big-screen TV, and...well, never mind.

I've been to one WorldCon and one MythCon, but I got to know a lot of SF/fantasy authors when I was a grad student at Berkeley and used to go to meetings of the Elves, Gnomes, and Invisible Little Men's Chowder, Marching, and Science Fiction Society, including Poul and Karen Anderson, Frank Herbert, Marion Zimmer Bradley, and Anthony Boucher. And I met David Gerrold, who wrote "The Trouble with Tribbles"!

There is a very good mystery novel set at an SF con: BIMBOS OF THE DEATH SUN by Sharyn McCrumb. In fact, there's a whole sub-genre of them.

Do you know if they have yet settled the issue of whether the translation of the Bible into Klingon should be a literal interpretation or not? I remember there was a running debate on the subject featured in LOCUS a while back.

[Mary Jo Putney]

From Mary Jo:

Jo, I think local romance cons run by readers could be fun, but sff is something guys will do, so it easily becomes a family affair. I think guys wouldn't want to come to romance cons. Their loss.

Tonda, ROFL about the Klingons invading Renaissance England! And yes, I've seen Trekkies. :)

What's not to love about -all- the studs of LOTR? Most certainly not excluding Eomer! And Faramir, can't forget him, either.

Yep, Val, I liked Voyager, too, and having a female captain certainly helped. Plus, they had a couple of crew members (Tom and Belanna) marry and have a child instead of killing one of them, probably her, off. :)

I never could get into Enterprise, though. It seemed like a real regression in terms of characters and storytelling, and I had trouble telling all those boring guys apart. THESE were Earth's best and brightest? No way. I hear the series got better over time, but by then, they'd lost us.

Cathy, your son is right: the Original series IS lame and full of bad acting. :) That doesn't mean one can't love it.

Selina, we watched the first half season or so of the new Battlestar Galactica, and it's very, very well done, but SO dark. Plus, I got tired of all the boring sex scenes between the blond Cylon and the creepy scientist. That got old really fast. I'm hopelessly frivolous--give me Stargate instead.

Speaking of Klingon translations (I'd think a metaphorical version of the Bible would be more interesting :), I'm told that the very brainy folk who work at NSA have a conversational Klingon group. What geeks do for fun! My kind of people. (Just get some Regency people going about Georgette Heyer!)

MJP

[talpianna]

tal sez:

At one con I attended, there was already an active Heyer fandom. They'd organized an Almack's and were handing out vouchers. Yes, I got one!

[Denise]

I've always wanted to go to a con but have never been able. We liked Enterprise but it was on at a bad time for us so we would record it. Then it got so busy that we had three or four tapes full of episodes that we never got to watch. It was cancelled before we finally got around to watching them all. We are also huge Quantum Leap fans so that was part of the attraction.

Number One was a big attraction for me in TNG. And if I'd known Battlestar had Jamie Bamber in it I'd have been watching it! Always wondered why he didn't have more roles. Love him in Hornblower.

MJ beat me to the Faramir comment. I liked all the LOTR studs, but Legolas and Faramir were fav's. I was so glad to get the extended DVD's and learn that Faramir and Eowyn hooked up during the movie, not just in the coronation scene. I always felt so sad for Eowyn when she fell for Aragorn.

And I'd be buying Jag, too, if I could talk my DH into the price. We watched them all and then watched them on cable several times so we almost have them all memorized.

[Susan Wilbanks]

I liked Voyager, though I never felt like they made full use of their premise--it could've been a lot edgier and more interesting. Anyway, Chakotay was another of my Trek crushes.

Any other Joss Whedon fans here? I loved Buffy and Angel, and I'm still mourning the premature cancellation of Firefly. (And yes, I saw the movie, but it's just not the same as having 5 or 7 or 10 years of a TV show to luxuriate in the story.)

Oh, and while I'm not a longstanding Doctor Who fan, my husband hooked me on Christopher Eccleston's 9th Doctor when it aired on CBC last year (one of the perks of living in Seattle is getting CBC on cable). I've seen the Christmas special with the 10th Doctor, and I still enjoy the show, but I don't have a Doctor crush anymore.

[talpianna]

tal sez:

Obviously none of you people will be registering for ReaderCon any time soon--it's for people who like WRITTEN SF/fantasy!