Word Wenches

Aristocratic Titles

  Finally!  The contemporary proposals are sitting on various desks in New York City. Our wenchly brainstorming session has been processed, resulting in reams of ideas.  Outlines for the next two historicals are slowly developing.  And I can research again!!

Currently, I’m buried under books on Bermuda for a new idea that’s been niggling at the back of my mind.  I can see right now that I’m going to wish I’d actually been to Bermuda to pull this off.  Maybe, if miracles happen, we’ll find time in the fall.

But in the meantime, after a long time away from the proper world of Regency England, I’m dipping my toe in again, if only for the opening chapters.  And to my dismay, I’ve forgotten many of the tangled complications of titled aristocracy.  Did you know that in 1812, there were only seventeen dukes in England?  And most of them were probably crusty old fellows moldering away in their clubs and country homes and nowhere near as dashing as we make them out to be. (photo of 12th duke of Norfolk)

There were only a dozen marquesses (and just spelling that is one of the reasons I prefer not to use that title, unless I’m feeling masochistic), although during the Regency, the title was still marquis.  Which looks even worse in today’s dialogues, sort of sounding like a Regency theater with flashing candlebra, maybe.

Fortunately, there were 94 earls, and earl is a good Anglo-saxon title that sounds as nice on the modern ear as duke. If I’m pulling titles out of a hat, I tend to choose earl because it’s easy. And the heroine gets to be a countess, which I like even better.  But in the case of my current project, the new earl is dead.  And his brother before him. And the earl before that.  Messy situation.  Anyway, I want a distant cousin to inherit the title.  But any old cousin won’t do.  According to my research, he has to be the eldest surviving male of a direct descendant of the title, or some such rot.  So I have to draw a blamed family tree to figure out where I can find this guy.  And then I started wondering if this gormless heir might have been called viscount before the last earl sank to the bottom of the sea…  And I gave up for the day.

What I want to know is…who made up these rules? And for pity’s sake, why?   It must have been  headache-inducing memorizing everyone’s titles and ancestors just so guests knew in what order they should go into a society dinner!  No wonder they frowned on divorce and ostracized the scandalous.  Who would know where to place them at the dinner table? (link to etiquette book)

It’s bad enough that people try to figure out their position on the human family tree by condemning other races to the bottom and walking over their neighbors to clamber to the top, but why on earth go out of the way to create an artificial hierarchy? 

Apparently, I’m not done with revolution. I see an American historical coming on.

What is it in human nature that makes us want to know we’re better than the next guy, if only because our father was born three minutes earlier? Or our ancestors arrived on a Norman war ship instead of an Irish potato boat?  Can I join the committee that makes these rules?

Wenches Rock!

Where to start?  Lots of good news on the Wench front.

Pat - Mystic Guardian
Pat's book cover is a finalist in the Cover Cafe annual book cover contest. The covers aren't up yet, but they plan to have the contest up and running by early May, so you should be able to view the finalists then. 

Jo - A Lady's Secret
Jo's book has moved up on the New York Times bestseller list and is now #10! Way to go, Jo! You better lay in a big supply of champagne. 

Loretta - Your Scandalous Ways
Loretta's book received a great review over at Publishers Weekly.  Well done, Loretta!

Mary Jo and Pat - Pioneers of Romance
Both Mary Jo and Pat attended the Romantic Times convention in Pittsburgh April 16-20 and each came away with a lovely award ("a big chunk of glass" according to Mary Jo!)  for being pioneers of romance.

Sneak Previews
Be sure to stop by on Sundays when we post announcements!  And just to give you a sneak preview, in May Jo will be interviewing a wines and spirits expert, which we'll announce in more detail next month.  In addition, Susan/Miranda will be doing a two-part interview of Loretta the end of May in connection with the release of Your Scandalous Ways. In June we're bringing back costume historian Kalen Hughes to talk about Georgian dress.

Book Reminder
Wenches have books coming out in the next few months.  In May, Mary Jo's A Distant Magic will be reprinted.  In June, two Wenches have books out:  Edith - His Dark and Dangerous Ways, and Loretta - Your Scandalous Ways. In July, two more Wenches have books out:  Pat - Mystic Rider, and Susan Holloway Scott - The King's Favorite.

So, we have some busy months coming up, and we don't want you to miss the fun.  Drop in early and often!

Idea Torrents

    I’m writing this before I head out to the Romantic Times convention--- a week ahead of the posting date, because I won’t be home until the night before I’m supposed to blog.  I won’t be at RT all that time.  Part of it will be spent brainstorming with a couple of the other wenches, which leads to the subject of this post— brainstorming.

There are as many reasons to brainstorm as there are fish in the sea.  Officially, brainstorming started as a business method of breaking out of established patterns of thought to develop a new way of thinking. Obviously, as creative writers, we hardly need to be encouraged to think creatively!  Our problem might be on the flip side—we have excessive numbers of ideas floating in our separate universes, and we need to narrow them down into a new and original structures.

According to business guidelines, brainstorming is what is called a “lateral thinking process.”  To a business mind, that might mean thinking of a can of Campbell’s soup as square and blue instead of cylindrical and red and white.  Shocking stuff!  And then the stormers are supposed to create something useful out of this wild idea.  I doubt any of them thought of painting a soup can on canvas and selling it for millions, ala Andy Warhol. Really, I think all  businesses ought to have creative people on staff to shake it up a little. And governments could use us to imagine future scenarios, the “what ifs” that never seem to occur to them as they march off to war or hurricanes.

But I digress. As writers, we use our sessions to access each other’s wide variety of experience and knowledge.  Most of us have written well over twenty-five novels apiece, so we’ve spilled a lot of our own knowledge into print already.  We could let that back list form a foundation for dozens of more similar novels, but we’re writers. We like a challenge. We like trying new things. We like stretching our wings and soaring into uncharted territory.

So we dig into books and locate gems of material that fascinate us, but then we need to produce entire stories to fit these historical treasures.  Or we may have characters in our heads who insist on time traveling or building churches or other impossible feats about which we know nothing.  As these idea germs start to form into nebulous clouds of creation (just imagine the scenario accompanying this photo!), it’s extremely convenient to let the cloud coagulate over more than one brain. (Did you know that rain is produced by germs in cloud particles? Ponder that for a while!)

After we toss excited “what ifs” around for a while, each outdoing the other (with much screaming laughter and moans of torment), we’ll have three books worth of characters and some degree of plot. At that point, we’re forced to filter the stream of ideas through our various backgrounds and interests, each adding a new twist or turn that one mind alone couldn’t produce, creating—we hope—something useful. It’s up to the “owner” of the original nugget that seeded the clouds to sort through the glittering gems remaining to find the ones that make the necklace work. Which may be why we end up beading before the session ends. <G> 

Okay, I stretched that metaphor to a painful end. Anyone else use brainstorming—at work or elsewhere?  What are your methods?

And the Wiener is ...

Jill Astley! Congratulations, Jill.  We've already been in touch with Jill, and she can expect her book shortly.  For the rest of you, it's easy to win books here at the Word Wenches.  Just leave a comment, or sign up for our newsletter (see the sidebar on the right), or suggest a blog topic.  We give away books every month, and love it when one of our posts touches off a barrage of conversation.  So join in the fun.  Leave a comment.  Sign up for the newsletter.  Suggest a blog topic for future discussion!

What Do We Really Want?

Pat here, just back from a writer’s conference in New York City. I’m still trying to finish half a dozen contemporary proposals. And I haven’t even begun to dream of researching the next historical. So, obviously, I’m still not in a good place to talk about exciting research projects, unless you consider Googling trendy designer clothes exciting. Looking at the price tags is certainly diverting. 

And because of the discussions at the conference between authors, agents, and editors, I’m thinking about the business before I dive into any more research.  While the Regency historical market is selling like hotcakes, there seems to be a general restlessness, an eagerness for something different—only no one can exactly pinpoint what they want. So “different” could take any number of directions, from settings, to time periods, to deeper history, or heck, alien space culture for all I know.  Personally, I’m into the latter. I want to relate the brilliant mathematics of ancient Egypt and Celts and pre-Mayan cultures to aliens from outer space, but then, I’m insane and far more willing to dream up ideas than actually write them. My imagination wiggles in joy when offered a wide drawing board.

So I thought I’d do an informal survey and ask for opinions.  What kind of historical would you like to see break into the next big “thing”?  Victorians? Westerns? Egyptians? Would you like to see more sex? More focus on the characters and their relationship? More history? And maybe—sorry about this—you might give some indication of what age group you’re in, as in “I glommed Woodiwiss’s entire backlist in high school” or “I read Woodiwiss when the FLAME AND THE FLOWER first hit the shelves.”  It would be interesting to know if we have a disconnect based on generation.

Feel free to roam as far and wide as you like, from wanting more humor to more vampires—as long as we stick to historicals.  Give examples, if that helps.  I know we’ll never see a new form of Gellis’s Roselynde Chronicles again, we don’t want history to repeat itself, but if you want to live in that kind of detailed world, however gritty, it’s a good comparison point.

But in hopes of generating an active discussion, I’m willing to give away one of my newly arrived ARCs for MYSTIC RIDER—which I’ll remind you is a paranormal historical with a fair amount of sex (not that I want to influence anyone, just saying!)—to a winner Sherrie will draw out of the hat after midnight, Pacific Coast Time, on April 8th. Or I suppose, technically, the first minute of April 9th, but who’s counting?

More Gifts for Finnish Minna, Queen for a Day

Minna has provided us with some great sites to explore.  Do you think we could award her with an aurora borealis for an evening?  If you go to this link:

http://virtual.finland.fi/Picture_Book/

you can see a gorgeous slide show of auroras, but I can only put this tiny glimmer  on here:

and next, perhaps the most fantastic contemporary tea/coffee set I've ever laid eyes on, and I'm a connoissieur of tea sets:

http://virtual.finland.fi/Arts_Entertainment/

I can't translate the websites to see if the Kuutar and other Kalevala jewels:
http://images.google.fi/images?gbv=2&hl=fi&q=kalevala+koru+kuutar&btnG=Etsi+kuvia

are suitable for our queen, but this image is gorgeous enough to count no matter what it's made of:

And it seems our Queen has her eye on a particular hunk she would like delivered to her  castle.  I can't insert videos in here, but the music is lovely and the guy...  see for yourself:
Bogart Co. - Princess
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9nJq4fi5f8

And I think this video will fascinate some of my Mystic Isle readers.  Shall we send this group to Windsor to entertain for the evening?  Can't duplicate the brilliant setting, but the group and the music ought to liven that stuffy hall: Indica: Vuorien taa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05mAzx56jQ4

Aww, and Minna even remembered my patron saint with this truly haunting duet from one of my favorite shows, in honor of St Pat's Day:
Riverdance song duet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgDhxOC5g48

You're definitely a jewel, Minna, thank you!

Queen Wench for a Day!

Minna 's name has been drawn as Queen Wench for Today!  Congratulations, Minna, and in your honor, we're granting you the virtual use of Queen Victoria's robes for today.

In honor of St Pat's Day, we thought you might enjoy exploring an Irish castle...to be virtually yours for this day.

Home of the Earls of Longford for 350 years, it contains history, furnishings, and architecture covering three centuries.  That should take you some time to putter around!

And exploring anything that large will certainly work up an appetite, so we thought a quick flight to England and a lovely dinner for a few of your close friends and family at Windsor might be appropriate this evening.  Each of the trusses is handmade and the wood comes from 300 green oak trees cut from the royal grounds.  Say hi to the Queen should you meet her in the halls!

Nina has already stopped by and left a gorgeous ring fit for a queen:

and this splendid set of Sevres vases which I would love to borrow when you're done with them:

 

I'll check back here regularly through the day, so if any readers would like to leave Minna a few virtual gifts, I'll post them throughout the day.  Minna, I'd love to post a photo of you (or your pets or any other favorite object <G>) on the blog, but you'd have to give me a computer link to it so I can retrieve it.  If you don't have a website, you could email an image to PBRice@aol.com .  Any other virtula gifts can be mailed that way as well if you don't have a web link.

Have fun!

PS: I'm amending this after discovering a number of our wenchly readers have material chosen by Bookends Literary Agency in their opening paragraph contest.  Check it out at: http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/  And congratulations all of you!  I know you've been working hard.  Doesn't justification feel fine?

Holiday Amusement

Pat present:

No one warned me that the Easter Bunny came with horns and fangs.

Ahem. Forgive me, I’m still practicing opening hooks and high concept.  Vampire bunnies probably aren’t my style though.

I’m writing this on St Patrick’s Day because I’ll be leaving to visit family for Easter later this week.  Did you know that the last time St Pat's Day and Easter fell in the same week was in 1940, when they were on the same day, and won't happen again until 2160?  Really, the church ought to make some dispensation for postponing early Easters!  Here in Missouri, it’s not even thinking about spring yet.  Surely it’s a sin to wear winter black on Easter? Unless you’re a vampire bunny, I guess.

Since I had to fit writing this column in between finishing proposals due after I return from this week’s family outing, next week’s conference, and planning a blog ad campaign for the summer book, I thought I’d just Google 18th century Church of England to see what turned up about Easter. Ugly, very ugly.  I don’t recommend the result for easy reading—vampire bunnies don’t even come close when confronted with true human suffering.  The 18th century church was a political instrument, not necessarily a source of     comfort for the soul much less the poor.  The division between rich and poor in 18th century England was cataclysmic, and the church helped it to stay that way since it was essentially run by the same families as ran the government.  As much as I’d like to take on a political diatribe, this probably isn’t the place.  Although, if I turned politicians into the evil demons…  Okay, stepping back now, hands up. 

So then I Googled Easter to see why rabbits bring eggs for Easter, which was a much more amusing venture.  It seems rabbits make hollow nests in spring, and a type of bird often uses those hollows for its eggs, so some poor misled creature decided rabbits laid eggs.  Or so the story goes.  (Did you know that rabbits can be pregnant with one litter and then become pregnant with a second litter before the first is born?  The phrase “breeds like bunnies” is at least accurate!)  The reason for coloring eggs at Easter is much less clear but goes back to Greek times. Most cultures use eggs as a symbol of rebirth, which connects them with spring. And the Catholic religion forbade eating eggs during Lent, so giving Easter eggs became a tradition in later periods.  They even had gold leaf added to the paint in medieval times.  (has anyone included that nifty bit of information in a medieval romance that anyone remembers?)

All right, just for holiday fun—can anyone name any historical romances that mention Easter or Saint Patrick’s Day?  Since I have no intention of checking every entry to see if they’re right, I’ll have Sherrie  pull the name of a commenter from today’s replies, and post the winner as Wench Queen (or King) of the Day tomorrow, where the winner will be showered with many virtual gifts and prizes.  All our subjects—er, readers—can join in the royal fun by sending me links to their favorite gifts so I can post a grand display of prizes fitting for a queen or king on Thursday. Just a bit of spring madness to brighten the last gloomy days of winter!

Quiet Fiction

Pat here, rummaging around in Ye Olde Question Box.  I’m still playing with contemporary ideas, researching asthma and Jaguars and other modern terms, so I’m  not in a place to play with historical research blogs.  And unless you want to hear a diatribe about never-ending winter, I thought I’d answer reader questions instead. Given that I’m currently trying new directions, the  question below seemed appropriate.  Nina, I owe you one book!

Nina Paules writes:  What would the WW’s write if they could write anything they wanted to write?  In other words… if there was no consumer dictating style and plot direction via their purchasing habits, how might things be different?

This is a topic near and dear to my heart, and one discussed endlessly in authorial circles. Or authorial squares or mob scenes, depending on setting. 

First off—I am not talking about “writing what’s hot.”  That’s a fool’s journey.  I could write the next greatest vampire story in history and not sell it tomorrow because NYC will have decided the “vampire market is saturated.”  I could invent a whole new brilliant genre untapped by anyone and NYC will decide “it’s too different, we don’t know where to market it.”  So forget the flavor of the month. I’m not going there.

What’s bugging me right now is “high concept,” a film related term that's been  picked up by publishers.

Yeah, I’m also bugged because so many readers insist on Regency historicals and very few want western historicals and all that jazz, but I’ve found my way around most of those deficiencies.  If I want to write a book, I find a way to do it. I’m creative. I might dabble in first person POV for an idea I'm playing with, but since that idea doesn’t fit any subgenre known to mankind, I’m not foolish enough to market it. I'm writing it for myself.  I suppose, if we discarded all market guidelines, that's what would happen--a lot of insane writers would run screaming into the streets, joyously trying everything they've ever wanted to do.  Murder and mayhem would undoubtedly result. And readers would run screaming for the sanity of their televisions.

But I'm not totally blase about market restrictions. Right now, the craze du jour that can’t be escaped is “high concept” books, especially in the contemporary market.  I cannot begin to understand how one writes a high concept historical unless it’s something of the order of “Prince of Wales kidnaps Arab Sheik’s Daughter.”  Essentially, everything in history has already been done, so we’ve got to stretch ourselves pretty danged far to make a historical romance into high concept.

I suppose if one considers Eloisa James’ historical Duke and Duchess series high concept, then maybe it can be done, and I can handle it some of the time.

That’s just it.  I can respect and read and enjoy many high concept books.  “Daily Reporter Takes Down Superhero”—KARMA GIRL by Jennifer Estep; “Psychic Weather Forecaster Gets TV Show”—FORECAST by Jane Tara. Go ahead, name some more.  Seems like every contemporary out now stretches for an even wilder and more improbable premise.  And I’m okay with that—up to a point.

But what I really, really want to see and write right now is what some of us have been calling “quiet fiction.”  We want REAL people.  We want real life situations. We’re tired of Soccer Mom Kills Demons (no offense—I like Julie’s books, but her concept was original when she first wrote it. Let’s not keep asking the rest of us to repeat it).  Why can’t we write about women who worry about their weight and women who lose their jobs and women who get the job they’ve always wanted and hate it?  Why shouldn’t we write about women who save trees or cities by doing something normal like writing petitions and protesting or even running for office?  Normal people. Normal situations. Not out-there-on-a-limb-so-far-its-gonna-break high concepts.  If anyone has any recommendations along the “quiet fiction” line, let me know! I know about the long-time bestsellers such as Siddons and Binchy. I want to hear about new authors making waves in this market.  Anyone?

Fortunately or unfortunately, the only quiet fiction I’m finding right now is in inspirational, and I fear most of those go a little too far in the opposite direction.  Not all.  Beth Patillo is a name that comes to mind as a great writer of “quiet fiction” about normal people, some of whom just happen to be ministers. 

But as of this moment, most romance editors seem to be after Navy Seals, Werewolves meet Frankenstein, Billionaire Buys Waitress (or better yet, Waitress Rejects Billionaire, but then it wouldn’t be romance <G>), complete with over-the-top sex and violence. 

Whatever happened to Neighbor Falls in Love with Neighbor?  Sure, it sounds boring, but given the right conflict and a good writer, any topic can reduce a reader to tears and laughter.  The problem is that publishers have to SELL quiet books, and it’s not easy without a great hook shouting pickup lines to readers.  Currently, to sell books, we have to pimp the cover with smoke and mirrors and hunks, and whisper come hither promises in the back copy, before a book even lands on a bookstore shelf.  Once it’s on the shelf, it has to make another big leap into the customer’s hands.  What are the chances of MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON leaping into anyone’s hands when DANGEROUS DECEPTIONS is sitting next to it?  (and my apologies to anyone with that title—I count six recent ones on Amazon—I mean no offense. It’s a great title, which makes my point.)  We can’t even sell quiet titles anymore.

So I’m throwing this rant over to our readers---prove me wrong. Name some great quiet fiction you’ve read recently.  Give me quiet titles and artwork that work for some good books.

Or tell me why you’d rather read monsters and serial killers and superheroes and royalty than about the boy next door. I really want to know.

HAIR--Flaxen, waxen...

   Pat here, obsessing over hair:

How many of you hate your hair? Wave your hands!  I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who has expressed satisfaction with their hair. If they have straight, they want curly, and vice versa. Blondes highlight and rinse their hair to be more blond. (and just spelling “blonde” correctly is a challenge requiring a sentence diagram!)  Brunettes would rather be red or blond, although I’m not certain I’ve ever met anyone who wanted to be a brunette. 

And because I don’t have room for a deep psychological analysis of why hair is so important to our self image, I’ll stick with the superficial: human nature doesn’t change much over the years. One has to assume our historical heroes and heroines obsessed as much as we do over their looks. And locks. As far back as the Greeks, women were using henna and decorating their hair with expensive ornaments. Roman women used curling irons—proving again that we’re never satisified with what we have—and they favored gold hair powder and often wore wigs. Even the men attended public barber shops. 

And everyone’s seen those horrible portraits of Renaissance women with their high brows and hair pulled tight enough for migraines—they not only plucked their eyebrows to achieve that look, but they plucked their entire hair line!  Owwww.  Almost as bad as the sixties when teenage girls ironed their hair and slept on orange juice cans to achieve that “natural” look.   Is it that one can't be beautiful without pain?

Since characterization—what makes our heroes and heroines tick—is a favorite interest of mine, I’m quite enamored of the psychology of hair. Heck, we’ve even had a play written about it.  Remember the song from HAIR?  "I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, oily, greasy, fleecy… " Quite an ode!  Repulsive, maybe, but topical. <G> 

But have you ever noticed that we seldom give our characters bad hair?  Oh yeah, a few chicklit characters will scream about their hair, but these are modern characters who have hairdressers that can turn the most cantankerous mop into a gleaming shiny crown for a price. But our Regency heroines didn’t have access to electric curlers and mousse.  Wouldn’t they have bemoaned a frizzy hair day? That they were a mousy brown and not a shining blond?  What about their mothers, how often do they complain that their hair is getting thin as well as gray?  And our heroes!  How many bald ones have you noticed?  I love the website describing men's “mullets”  through the ages. Really, men have worn some form of mullet for centuries!  The picture of Gainsborough's Blue Boy looks like some greasy character dragged out of an alleyway after a bad night on the town.

Can’t you imagine that more than a few of our rakish bachelors started finding a comb full of hair when they reached their sophisticated thirties? Wouldn’t many of them be fretting over a receding hairline and a bald spot on the back of their heads?

It’s not just the looks of our characters that concern me.  How a person feels about her appearance is extremely important in how she behaves.  A heroine with frizzy mousy hair would want to cover it up.  In the Regency era, she might buy elaborate hats and bonnets, and prefer daytime outings when she could hide beneath headgear over elegant evening occasions requiring that she bare her pate for inspection.  Of course, in much of the Georgian era, the wealthy had access to excessive, expensive powdered wigs.  That might cover up thinning hair and mousy locks, but the weight of those things must have been crushing. How many went around with aching heads? Not to mention the occasional mouse or flea infestation since the things were never washed. Ugh, shudder. I prefer less wealthy Georgian heroines, probably for that reason.

Another facet is how other people react to a character's hair. I don't care how brilliant our gallant heroine might be, but if she lacks shimmering thick locks, people won't look her way to discover how intelligent she is.  Maybe curly-haired heroines are feisty for a reason--it's the only way they can get attention!

I’m as guilty of giving my characters gorgeous hair as the next person for just that attention-getting reason. Healthy, handsome hair has always been a symbol of beauty and virility.  To some extent, the behavior is probably genetic.  Why would a cave man grab the hair of a nearly bald or gray woman to haul her home if he could have one with young, healthy hair?  The young one would be much more likely to reproduce. Or not fight back if her suitor had lovely hair, too. <G>

The question teasing at the back of my mind is this—What would happen if fashion dictated that we must all be bald? Or cover our hair so it can’t be seen? How would we judge people then?  By the size of their noses? The color of their skin?  The size of their eyes or forehead?  The number of wrinkles? No doubt, all of the above, choosing priorities by culture. 

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all put our characters and intelligence out for display instead of something so superficial as our looks? Maybe we should tattoo our IQs on our foreheads!

Okay, I’m ready, how do you feel about your hair? And what characteristic would you prefer become symbolic of health and virility?