Don't Worry, Be Happy ... Oh, and Finish the Book

Joanna here, asking the Wenches the somewhat harrowing question --

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"Do you get angsty and anxious at any part of the writing process? And, if you do, does it make you more productive?"

Mary Jo Putney says:  Writing always makes me angsty!

I think it’s part of my creative process to have to fret and chew at the story and wonder if the current work is a career ender.  Luckily, I’ve been in this business long enough that I recognize angst as part of the process, which spares me the worst of the feeling.  But it doesn’t make the angst go away, alas.

 

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Creative work comes from internal fires.

Pat Rice says: I don’t handle stress well. No one in my family does, so It’s apparently genetic. As a result, we aim for a laidback attitude and careers that don’t create tension.  

In writing, stress has to come from inside the writer because no one else gives a dang what you do. I’ve set up time frames and work schedules that don’t require that I freak out on a regular basis. And if a book isn’t going well, I’ve developed methods of looking at it from a fresh perspective and beta readers who can sometimes point out problems.

The only time I angst is when someone else doesn’t step up when they’re supposed to, and I’m learning to ignore that as much as possible. I might chew a few nails and fire off a few e-mails until I annoy the devil out of the slacker, but otherwise, I try not to angst over the delay. 


This is probably not a formula for fame and riches, but I’d only stress over those anyway!

Joanna: Fame and riches. Y'know, I wouldn't mind stressing over that.

 

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Jo Beverley, when I ask if she gets angsty at any part of the writing process, says: About half way. My husband calls it the time of the book.

One of the aspects is a conviction that it will be too short. I always end up too long and cutting.

I don't believe any kind of stress helps me. It can be tempting to think it does so as to avoid the additional stress of guilt over feeling stressed!

Nicola Cornick says: I'm not usually anxious at the start of the book because at that point the excitement of starting something new taken together with the misguided belief that *this book* will be plain sailing usually helps me get going ok. Hit twenty thousand words, though, and I am busy re-appraising the conflict, the characters, the plot development...

This is when paralysing angst usually starts to hit, I start to question myself, I change what I have already written, I become convinced I will never finish this book, nay never write another book again... This phase sometimes lasts until the end of the book. If I'm lucky I come out of it before then and actually start enjoying myself again.

When I ask if writer's angst makes her more productive, she says:   No. It paralyses me. When I'm in the throes of writer's angst I find the process is like dragging words from treacle.

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Anne Gracie says: At some stage in every novel I am completely certain I can't make it work and that the novel will be a terrible failure. My friends say, "Oh, Anne you always say that," as if I'm fussing over nothing, or making it up, but it's completely genuine and heartfelt every time.  

I suspect that by wrestling with whatever it is that's not working (because it's different in each book) the book is improved. But it's not a fun way to work.

And does writer's angst make her more productive? It probably reduces the number of books I write in a year. It might make those I produce better — I hope so, but I have no way of testing the theory.

 

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Cara Elliott/Andrea Penrose:  Writerly angst always seems to rear its ugly head at around three quarters of the way through a manuscript. The characters appear to become bored with my company (Moi? Who has done her best to amuse them with bon mots, gorgeous clothes, not to speak of inviting them to all the interesting places in Town?)

I, in turn, become sulky and am tempted to abandon them in the slums of Southwark and find new friends. For a time, we don’t speak to each other. . .   

I fret, I whine. I eat chocolate. The Muse gets annoyed because the chocolate is supposed to be for HER. She starts whispering in my ear that all relationships have their ups and downs and I can’t very well leave these people abandoned in a strange place The is appeal to my conscience usually works and no matter how awful the walk home feels, I try to make polite conversation until we reach the end.

Strangely enough, when we sit down for a last glass of wine together, I usually realize that they not so annoying after all and we part bosom bows.   I must be a difficult person to get along with, for this keeps repeating itself. I need to either change my personality. Or buy a lot more chocolate.

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Joanna:  My own writerly anxiety clutches at my mind till I can barely work.  Messes with my head.  Makes me miserable.

But once I get going, once I get into the story, it goes away.  The only cure for the pain of writing  is writing.  (I think I've just described addiction, maybe.)

 

I put out one final question.  Sometimes I see 'writer's anxiety' as a chittering monkey, clinging to my back, chattering in my ear, distracting me from writing. So I asked what animal folks think of when they think of writerly angst.

Jo Beverley says, "Preferably a bug I'd feel okay about stamping on." For Nicola Cornick, ". . . it would be a pacing tiger. It's quite fierce, it feels frustrated and it just wants to break out of the confines and roar." And Anne Gracie says it's like a "Rat on a spinning wheel, round and round and round, over and over the same thing. And only stopping to gnaw thoughtfully at the bars from time to time."

I think folks who do any sort of creative or important work under a deadline suffer from this same 'angst'. This performance anxiety.

What's your own particular anxiety for the work you do?

Comments

[Lil]

I spent a lot of years in journalism and my constant fear was that I would turn in a story under deadline pressure with something seriously wrong that would malign somebody, or damage someone's reputation or cause some other serious ill.

It gave me some sympathy with Prometheus, with the eagle gnawing at his liver.

Now I'm trying my hand at fiction. I still worry, though now the fear is that what I'm writing is utter crap. But this way, the worst I can do is bore someone to death.

[joanna bourne]

Hi Lil --

Yes. Exactly. That's the great fear of all of us who write or wrote non-fiction -- getting something wrong.

And I like the image of Prometheus. That's what it feels like. Yup.

[Janga]

I'm a non-linear writer--whether I'm writing a poem, fiction, a book review, or a research article. I write what comes easily first, and that part of the process is exciting, filled with, to borrow a phrase from James Dickey, damn-that's good moments. But eventually I have all these bits I'm pleased with that have to be pieced together in a coherent manner. That's when the angst hits with heavy blows. I become convinced that I'll never have a whole text and that even if I do stitch everything together, the end product will be worthless.

[joanna bourne]

Hi Janga --

I think the self-doubt is part of the process. How can we be good critics of other people's work and not critics of our own?

When that 'interior editor' inserts itself into the creative process it just stomps all over the vulnerable artist in us.

[Phyllis]

I get in the sagging middle of the book and have to figure out where to go - and I despair.

Then I get almost to the end and can't figure out how to wrap it up - and I despair.

And then I read it over and realize I have a mother lode of editing to do - and I despair even more.

[joanna bourne]

Hi Phyllis --

Arrrgh.

I have a continuing trickle of anxiety all through the process, from beginning to end. The first third of the book is as angst-producing as the last.

The only good part is I can tune the noise out when I'm actually buckled down and writing.

I've decided chocolate is a specific remedy against despair. I'm thinking of patenting that.

[Blythe Gifford]

My anxiety is more of a mosquito...or a high-pitched whine that won't go away...

[joanna bourne]

I like that 'high-pitched whine' description. Very apt.

[Margaret]

I hate to admit that writing anxiety stops me in my tracks. Lately, I've been feeing the doubt monkey but I plan to put them on a starvation diet and just (in the immortal words of Cherry Adair) "finish the damn book."

[joanna bourne]

Hi Margaret -

Yes!! Finish the damn book. It all boils down to that, doesn't it?

[Mary Jo Putney]

If I hadn't contributed one of the angsty bits above, I might consider the comments funny, but instead they are all too, too true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm of the "just finish the damned book," school. The closer the deadline is, the further I am behind, the less I care about quality. I just want the silly thing DONE! Then the wheels start to turn. Finally!

[Jo Banks]

You gallop thru the first third - inspiration hits you know where you want to finish up and then the blasted characters take off in the opposite direction and you are left gnashing your teeth and either ploughing on or going back and rewriting the whole thing! Definitely time for the chocolate to come out!!

[Cara Elliott/Andrea Penrose]

Well, as they say, misery loves company . . .so it is heartening to know I'm not alone in feeling writing is HARD. I like Prometheus and the liver . . . like Mary Jo, I just try to make myself write, even if it feels like utter dreck. Dreck can be edited. A blank page cannot.

[Jana]

Well, I'm not a writer but I do kind of get the angst. I'm an elementary teacher and my grade has government tests in May. Sometime around, well, now, I am convinced that I am never going to be able stuff the requisite knowledge into my students before test day,every year I'm wrong. My students always come through for me but during the post Christmas winter slump I'm convinced they never will!

[joanna bourne]

Hi Jana --

Angst ... it's not just for writers.

Oh. The poor kids.

Some of our States in the US have statewide performance requirements. I agree in principle, of course, but in practice I hate to see them put under such pressure.

[LouisaCornell]

Like someone else said, all of this would be funny if it weren't so true!! I am constantly assailed by angst and doubt. There are days I reread what I have written and think it is brilliant. I reread it the next day and think it is the worst dreck ever put to paper. And in addition to all of my other doubts the romance writing business keeps changing and I keep thinking "Am I doing all of this for nothing?" Drives me nuts! It is a short drive to be sure, you could make it on a scooter, but that is beside the point. Where's my chocolate???

[joanna bourne]

Hi Louisa --

I certainly hear you. Besides all the worry about -- "Am I doing this well?" there's the nagging questions -- "Am I commercial?"

A bit of a moving target, writing.

But maybe we need this doubt and this worry to keep us sharp. *g*
Chocolate, anyone>

[Ella Quinn]

I've just started my 7th book and for the first time didn't have the basic plot before I'd finished the last one. I panicked for about two days, then it all started coming, just not in order.

[joanna bourne]

I am reassured. I don't have any sort of plot for the next book. Not an inking.

It's a most uncomfortable spot to be in.

[Patricia Rice]

I have to agree that there's far worse anxiety out there than whether we can apply word to page day after day. I wonder if anxiety improves human behavior in some way that we're presented with so many ways of encountering it? Pressure makes the world go 'round?

[joanna bourne]

Hi Pat --

I'd hate to think anxiety was a necessary part of human existence. I've always hoped our pre-societal ancestors went strolling across the savannah, picking roots and berries, grazing on the countryside, pretty mellow about it.