When Wenches Wed

by Mary Jo

As the Wench newsletter said, in April the Mayhem Consultant and I finally got around to getting married.  Since there was so much interest, I hijacked this date so I could tell you a bit more and show you some pictures.

Our aim was to have a ceremony that was classy but relaxed.  I have a friend who broke up with her fiancé three times between engagement and wedding.  She was an artist and a perfectionist, and I’m sure the wedding was perfect (I didn’t know her then, so I didn’t get to see).  But who needs that much stress?  Besides, they ended up getting divorced—those three break-ups must have meant something.  <g>

Our philosophy was that there are many good choices and no perfect ones, so once we found something we liked, we went for it. 

Finding the venue was easy—just a few miles away is a gorgeous building designed as an English manor house, with some elements copied from Warwick Castle.  The MC says it was built by a bootlegger who later gave it to an order of nuns in an attempt to expiate some of his many sins.  I am not sure about this—the official history of the building is much tamer. 

But whatever its past, the Castle at Maryvale, on the campus of a private Catholic girls’ school, is stunning, and so very, very right for a historical romance writer!

Despite my being a romance author, I’m not all of that romantic day to day.  But who could resist the image of floating down this staircase in something glamorous?

Even as a little girl, I never fantasized getting married in a sumptuous white gown—white was never my color.  But I love dark reds and burgundies, so I thought it would be fun to have a medieval style gown made in that color range.   So—I did.  I also went for the matching cape, which swept gracefully behind me.  (The result if either The Scarlet Woman or Little Red Riding Hood. <G>)

Another reason to have a proper wedding is because my two nieces had been hoping for someone in the family to get married so they could be flower girls.  By the time we got around to it, the older was junior bridesmaid size.  Aren’t Marielle and Caroline gorgeous?  Caroline looks just like my heroine, Lady Victoria Mansfield, aka “Tory.”

(All three of our gowns were made by Belinda Berry of Romantic Threads.  She specializes in marvelous historical garments.  She also made my necklace.)

 We wanted music to match the setting--baroque and classical works like Bach and Handel and Pachelbel and Mouret.  We were lucky to find the Raphael Flute and Strings Trio, which was perfect for this occasion. 

Food matters, too.  Good food and good company make an occasion.  The good company was the friends we've accumulated over the years. 

For the food, Maryvale had only two approved caterers, both very good, so we went with the one that really blew us away.  Chief regret: not enough leftovers. <G>

Cakes, like gowns, are the subject of much interest.  Our local gourmet grocer is considered one of the top bakers in Central Maryland, so we hopped over for a tasting (by the way, this tasting business in GREAT!  I never heard of it before planning this wedding), and made the mistake of starting with samples of their famous buttercream on pound cake.  Everything after that, both at this store and the other bakery we sampled, paled by comparison.  The taste was rich and yes, sumptuous, but not too sweet. 

We tossed in a bit of medieval looking design, and the caterer served the slices with real whipped cream and fresh berries.  Yummmmmmmmm!

 

Needless to say, all the Wenches and Whipmistress Sherrie were invited, but given the vast distances ("the sun never sets on the Wench Empire!" <g>), not everyone could come.  Pat and Susan were my bridesmaids, and Joanna was able to come, along with several of my non-Wench writer friends.  Note that the Elusive Susan managed to be least in sight when this picture was taken. <g> Pat, MJP, and Joanna are in the middle:

It really was a lovely time, and friends from many different parts of our lives mingled wonderfully even though they'd never met.  In the end, we got what we wanted--a wonderful party with friends and family where everyone seemed to be having a good time.  (Photographs taken by Shantel Mitchell and Edward Hawkins.)

When we were in Australia several years ago, a Ozzie writer suggested a line from "Gigi" that she thought suited us.  I liked it so much that I had it printed on the back of the program:

"Some people get married at first.

Others get married at last."

And a good time was had by all!  If you'd like to share some of your own wedding memories, please do. 

Mary Jo, not feeling all that different for being married.  And no, I am not changing my name!

Comments

[Laura Vivanco]

Congratulations!

The dress (and you in it) look beautiful. It's possible I'm a little bit biased in favour of the dress because my wedding dress was much the same colour, but I don't think so.

[Michelle Willingham]

Beautiful wedding, Mary Jo! Congratulations to you both!

[Maggie Robinson]

I always cry at weddings, and apparently I also cry when I see wedding pictures online. Sniff. How lovely everything looks, especially the bride! Many years of happiness and mayhem ahead. Thank you for sharing your special day.

[Cynthia Owens]

Lovely wedding, Mary Jo! Congratulations to both of you, and may you have many years of joy together!

[Janga]

Beautiful bride! Lovely wedding! Many good wishes for long years of happiness and harmony.

[Diane Sallans]

How wonderful! Sounds like it was the perfect wedding, a relaxed occasion. Here's to many more happy years together.

[april]

I love all the color. It looks like a great time was had by all. The cake sounds delicious!

I never changed my name when I married. I had the intention to, but it's been 13 years. I think he even realizes that I'm not changing it. It's mine. I can't imagine having anything different. I learned to live with another person, that should be plenty without having another name. *g*

[Afsaneh]

You look transcendent in that gown! There's a lot to say for a stress-free wedding that looks an absolute joy. I hope your married is blissful and all you ever hoped it would.
And, good on you for not changing your name! All my love! <3

[Elizabeth Essex]

Absolutely marvelous post! The Gigi quote was inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing your day with us all, and congratulations and best wishes for all future happiness. Cheers!

[MJ]

Congratulations!! Looks like a good time was had by all!! May you have many more happy years together.

For our 25th anniversary, we renewed our vows. Since it was my idea, I thought I'd surprise my husband. Unfortunately my pastor didn't want the groom bolting at the last minute, so she said I had to ask The Mister to marry me again before the ceremony. It was the most nerve wracking thing I've ever done. It also gave me a much greater appreciation for what our heroes have to do.

[Mary Jo Putney]

What excellent taste in wedding gown colors you have, Laura! As several Asian-American friends told me, red is a wedding color in China and India, and it certainly is full of life. Besides, I like it better. *g*

[Mary Jo Putney]

**happiness and mayhem **

What a perfect wish, Maggie! Thank you.

[JulieLeto]

You look gorgeous!!! I love your dress. And your husband is so handsome! You've been together as long as I've known you...so inspiring! CONGRATULATIONS!

[Mary Jo Putney]

Thanks to all for the good wishes!

Many years ago, my sister was the first woman I knew to keep her own name on marriage. I didn't even know it was legal, but once she assured me it wasn't a legal matter, just custom, I immediately thought it wasa fine idea. In many other cultures, women keep their own names.

I suspect that the name changing in English countries is a remnant of the old Anglo-Saxon common law edict that "the husband and wife are one, and that one is the man." And who nees that?!!

[Isobel Carr]

Congrats. I love seeing COLOR at weddings (my little sister just got married in black silk c. 1890s style). It looks like you all had a marvelous time.

[Deni Dietz]

Beautiful, beautiful wedding, Mary Jo. For my wedding to a fellow author I used the line from [the movie] Murphy's Romance. I couldn't use Emma's line, "I'm in love for the first time in my lfe," but Murphy's line was perfect: "I'm in love for the last time in my life."

My husband Gordon Aalborg (aka Victoria Gordon) and I met on the 'Net via NINC (Novelists Inc), we wed at a writers conference, and we'll celebrate anniversary #12 this October.

[Mary Jo Putney]

** It's mine. I can't imagine having anything different. I learned to live with another person, that should be plenty without having another name. *g* ***

So true. In numerology terms, changing one's name means giving up part of oneself. That's not always healthy!

[Carol Marinelli]

Gorgeous post and pictures!!! There is nothing nicer than a wedding that is about the bride and groom and who they are – thank you for sharing Cx

[Judy]

How romantic! The location, the family, the cake, the dress, but most of all the couple!

[Laura]

Just had to add my appreciation of the beauty, joy, and fun that shine through in your pictures.

All best wishes to you and the Mayhem Consultant :D

[Cara Elliott/Andrea Penrose]

Leave it to a romance writer to creative a perfect fairy tale wedding! A gorgeous dress, a beautiful bride, adorable flower girls . . .and a groom who is clearly wise enough to know he's the luckiest man in the world.

Popping another round of champagne corks for your HEA!

[Cate S]

Everything looks so beautiful, the flowers you carried, the arrangements on the tables.. that cake... and the bride & groom!
what a wonderful memory!!!

[Susan/DC]

What a beautiful wedding! The setting and the dress were lovely, and the bride, walking down the aisle with her handsome bridegroom, even lovelier.

One of my favorite quotes (it's tacked above my desk at work) is from Hecaton of Rhodes: "I will reveal to you a love potion without herbs, without any witch's magic -- if you want to be loved, then love." You and the MC clearly have found this potion, and you have shared it with all of those lucky enough to read your romances. Thank you, and wishing you many happy years ahead.

[Kimberly Killion]

Oh! This is just fantastic! You look tremendous! Congrats a thousands times over!

[Keziah Hill]

Congratulations Mary Jo! It all looks wonderful.

[SusannahC]

Best wishes to you and John, Mary Jo! It sounds as if your wedding was perfect. The location and your gown are gorgeous, and I'm sure a wonderful time was had by all.

[Valerie Stewart Lewis.]

Your wedding looked beautiful. I wish more brides would take your route, there is no reason not to have a stress free day and do some a little different.
Good luck to you for the future.

[Louise Reynolds]

What a beautiful wedding, Mary Jo. I remember when you were giving a class in Australia and your partner sat in the front and listened. When you'd finished, he stood up and handed you down and the whole audience gave a collective sigh. So lovely. Best wishes to you both.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Deni--

LOVE the Murphy's Romance comment! Perfect.

And since I was at your Ninc wedding in Vancouver, I can attest that it was perfect in its way also. 12 years! Way to go!

[Mary Jo Putney]

Susan/DC--

I've never heard of Hecaton of Rhodes, but what a perfect comment! So true--to be loved, be loving.

[Mary Jo Putney]

MJ--

How interesting that after 25 years of marriage, asking for a renewal of vows was so anxiety producing! You're right, it does give us more empathy for our poor heroes, who have to risk their hearts by proposing to our heroines.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Valerie--

I think a big reason we were able to be pretty stress free was because we'd been hanging out for so many years. Not only did we have no parents to get involved, but we're old enough to know that we don't have to sweat the small stuff. So we just did what tickled our fancies.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Carol & Louise--

Thanks for the greetings from Down Under. I loved, loved, LOVED that conference and all the great RWAustralia members I met. And as you could see--the Mayhem Consultant is a complete romantic. Much more so than I am!

[Joanna Novins]

Hands down THE MOST ROMANTIC WEDDING EVER (also the funniest.) Even now thinking of it makes me sigh (as does the photo of the cake, tasted even better than it looked!)

[Nancy Herkness]

Oh, my! Just fabulous! Thank you for sharing your celebration with us! I'm smiling with joy.

[Leah Weller]

What a beautiful wedding and congratulations! I was so happy to see this as when I received your newsletter with the announcement I was hoping to see more pictures in the future. This was right up my dream wedding alley! Absolutely beautiful. I also love the line you had on the back of your program.

I am going through what I call "wedding day mother stress" right now. My daughter is getting married on the 26th and right now we are both about to pull our hair out and lose our minds trying to get all the little details in line. I keep telling myself not to stress it. Everything will turn out fine.

[Donna]

Everything about this wedding was gorgeous - especially you and those two beautiful nieces! Much happiness to you and your DH.

[Liz]

How nice.

Now, to update http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Jo_Putney

[theo]

I won't give you my wedding horror story again. You've all heard it before

Suffice it to say, you looked lovely, everything was beautiful and you have my heartfelt congrats. :O)

[Mary Jo Putney]

Thanks for all the compliments! The Castle at Maryvale had a list of approved vendors, we picked from them, said what we wanted, and it all turned out beautifully. I think some luck was involved. *g*

Leah, my sympathies on the the "wedding day mother stress blues!" The big thing I kept telling myself was the perfection was impossible, so just decide on anything reasonable, and it will work out just fine. I hope your daughter's wedding goes smoothly and joyfully.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Liz, I have zero interest in updating the Wikipedia entry on me. I have no idea who put up what's there, but really, all anyone needs to know about me is in the books. I only put up these pictures because after all this time, Wench readers feel like friends, and weddings are for friends and family.

Althea, my sympathies on the wedding day horror story! I hope that's all distant enough to be a rueful memory.

[Susan]

Beautiful setting, dress, and wedding! Congratulations to you both!

[Liz]

Not all author's share your disdain for Wikipedia posts, as another of your cohorts was pleased to be listed and I was able to share a post on the subject:
http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/2010/01/writing-for-wikipedia-registration.html

Naturally, I assume your gracious response includes acknowledgment of my best wishes on your marriage.

[Susan King]

Congratulations again, Mary Jo! It was indeed a beautiful wedding, one of the nicest I've ever seen. (And I wasn't purposefully elusive when the Writers in Attendance photo was taken - I had gone upstairs to the bridal suite to get something - and didn't know you all were doing the photo just then!)

It was a lovely, lovely day, romantic and fun!

Susan

[Leslie Lemon]

As a long time reader and fan I am so glad that you have found the one to journey through life with. May the journey always be filled with love and laughter and may you always be friends as well as lovers.

[Mary Jo Putney]

Thanks, Leslie! Romance is wonderful to read,and even more wonderful to live. *G*

Liz, thanks for giving me a better understanding of how profiles get up on Wikipedia. Even though I prefer to lurk in the shadows myself, I'm in awe of the work done by so many contributors on so dazzlingly many topics.

[Sherrie Holmes]

Sherrie, here, chiming in late due to being out of town for a couple of days. Mary Jo, as others have said, this has to win the prize for the most romantic wedding of a romance author ever! The gown--exquisite. The groom--dashing. The bridesmaids--darling. The bride--fantabulous! There aren't enough words in the English language to describe how beautiful you looked. The photographer captured your essence so beautifully. Here's to a long and happy and very romantic future together!

[Imelda Evans]

You look beautiful Mary Jo and it seems that it was a wonderful day. Congratulations on all counts!

[Mary Jo Putney]

Thanks, Imelda! I think there's truth to the truism that every bride is beautiful, and most of us rely on that magic. *G*