The Sounds of Silence

Anne here, pondering the meaning of silence in the modern world.

Today I had to catch a tram (trolleycar) into the city to meet with someone from my publishers. It's a fifteen minute journey, not a long commute at all. It makes frequent stops, and since most of the journey is inner city and through popular shopping areas, there's a lot of getting on and off.

And yet most of the people sitting  around me wore earplugs of various kinds in their ears — mobile phone (cell-phone) earplugs, i-pods, whatever. The few who didn't wear earplugs were busily texting or talking on their mobiles. Loudly — the talking, not the texting. There were even three young boys, all wearing earplugs playing loud music, who also had a conversation at the same time — loud, because they couldn't hear over the music otherwise. 

I sat there, watching and listening, and it occurred to me to wonder how often people  experience quietness, how often they are simply alone with their thoughts.

I thought about how frequently I see walkers and joggers and all kinds of exercisers wearing earplugs — some even walk their dogs wearing earplugs — the people, not the dogs. I've even noticed cyclists wearing earplugs, which I think is pretty dangerous, hearing being a good warning device.

I don't understand it. I don't know if I'm simply old-fashioned, or out of touch, or whether it's a writer thing, but I love being alone with my thoughts, yet in the world. 

I see people all the time walking along the creek, oblivious to the twitter of the birds, the honk of a duck, the song of frogs, the rustle of the leaves by the evening breeze —  it's all blocked out by the doof doof sound of music in their ears. And it's often so loud that I can hear it from six feet away. 

But for me, that half hour of interaction with the natural world, my dusk walk along the creek— a band of "wilderness" that runs for miles —  breathing the air, hearing the twilight sounds of birds and bats and small critters, feeling the breeze on my face and hearing the wind rustle the leaves overhead and the reeds and long grass that edge the creek — all that adds to the peace that comes from my evening walk.

Sometimes on that walk I'll come up with a scene for a book, or sort out a knotty problem, but more often I'll just "be" in the moment of the walk. 

Not that the sound of nature is invariably peaceful. Anyone who has cicadas in their area knows that. And a friend who was so delighted when her husband and sons built her a frog pond, and who celebrated the birth of a thousand tadpoles, quickly changed her mind when those taddies grew up and found their froggy voices. 

And I recently spent a week in a place where hundreds of rainbow lorikeets came to roost in the trees at night and they chattered so loudly that we had to shut the windows to hear ourselves talk. They quietened down after a few hours. But those of us foolish enough to sleep with our windows open, wafting off to dreamland to the peaceful sound of the ocean, were rudely awakened well before dawn by hundreds of lorikeets chattering and shrieking with excitement as they greeted the day. If you want to see and hear rainbow lorikeets in the wild, there's a video here. Multiply the sound by a thousand.

Even so, I couldn't imagine going out for a walk or a run and blocking out all the natural noises with loud music. Not even quiet music. I adore music, but I don't crave it all the time, a constant background to everything I do. Nor do I have the radio or TV on unless I'm actually listening or watching it. I love audio books, but I'm not sure I'd want to listen to them while I'm walking. On an exercise machine, possibly yes, outside near the creek or by the beach, no.

I hate sitting in waiting rooms where there's a TV blaring, or muzak playing. On planes, trains and automobiles, I might listen to an i-pod or audio book, or watch a movie, or read a book, but I'm also just as likely to stare out the window and think. Being alone with my thoughts. Pondering. Being in the moment. Daydreaming.

I'm wondering whether that's becoming a lost art. 

It's a pity, I think. Loud and constant noise is said to be stressful on the human nervous system, but we seem to have forgotten that. The desire to block out the rest of the world with noise of your choice — or someone else's — is increasing all the time.

Many people have the TV or radio on all their waking hours. Some can't go to sleep without noise of some sort playing, whether it's music or the TV or something else. I know people who habitually go to bed with their phones plugged into their ear, and are lulled to sleep listening to some ambient electronic sound, instead of the "real" sounds around them. It seems to me they're disconnecting themselves from the real world, and it worries me, though I can't put a finger on why.  It's obviously a valid choice for them, and who am I to argue? It's not for me, though.

Time uninterrupted, being alone with my thoughts, simply "being in the moment" is, to me, precious. 

Some years back another author friend and I were invited to present a series of workshops at a week-long writers retreat in the mountains of North Queensland  —tropical rainforest — simply beautiful. This group went on a writing retreat every year, and one of their rules was no talking in the morning, no music or anything else, no human or artificial sound until the first workshop started at 9 am. Some of them rose early and meditated, others wrote or walked, and their communal breakfast was conducted in silence. 

It was amazingly powerful. And very special.

So what about you — are you in the "I love my i-pod" camp or do you relish silence when you can get it? Does the TV in waiting rooms entertain or annoy you? Do you jog or exercise to music or audio books, or to your own thoughts?  Do you live in a place where nature deafens you? Do you like to have music or the Tv on all the time? And what do you do on public transport? ;) Share your stories.

Comments

[Cate S]

I'm part of the 'quiet' crowd... my car radio broke several years ago... besides the fact they wanted $700 to replace it.. I found that I was happy driving in silence. I do observe a lot of distracted driving... people who look right at you and turn in front of you... while talking on their cell phones..
Also, I live in a college town & have observed the proliferation of 'ear buds/texting' and wonder why more students haven't been struck by vehicles, walked into poles, etc.. They are all so 'focused' on whatever device is in their hands...

[Anne Gracie]

Cate that's so true about people not hearing cars etc. I turned into a side street recently and a woman was strolling along the middle of the street, her back to me, yacking away happily, quite oblivious that I'd had to jam on my brakes in order not to skittle her.

Even then she hadn't noticed a car was two yards away from her, and she kept walking and talking. I idled along behind her at walking pace for a hundred yards or so. When I finally got sick of that and beeped my horn, you should have seen her indignant reaction.

[Maria D.]

I guess that I'm about half/half - I listen to audio books in the car but don't talk on the phone while I drive. I don't need to have the tv or other noise when I am home, I am content to read or use the computer without background noise and at work I usually don't listen to music either. I don't take public transport too often but when I do- I pay attention to what is going on around me so no earbuds then either

[Isobel Carr]

I love silence. Maybe a little too much considering I live in a city. I’m cringe when the kids play basketball in the street and loathe my neighbors who leave their dogs outside to yap incessantly. I love going to visit my friends who live up in the mountains where it’s quiet for hours on end (or where the only sounds are the birds and the occasional lizard skittering past).

I try to read on public transport, but I admit I’m not very good at tuning out the people around me who behave just as you described. The entire idea of shared public space being something that requires consideration of others seems to have simply disappeared.

I like music on road trips though.

[Judy]

I've been in both camps, at different points in my life. What I've learned: If I must have sound all the time, it's because I'm not comfortable with my thoughts, and I'm trying to drown them out. It's a great red flag for me that there's something I'm avoiding. When I can be alone with my thoughts then I enjoy the quiet.

When I'm out walking I need to have my ears open to what's going on around me, at all times. I enjoy nature's music, but I also need to be able to hear if someone is coming up behind me. Walking along the beach is one of the most relaxing things I can think of, listening to the waves shush to shore, but I've never been to the shore alone, so I didn't have to be on alert. When I had a dog she was my early-warning system. She would hear people coming up behind us before I did. I miss that.

Public transportation, I would wear earbuds because for some reason people think they have to talk to me, while I'm trying to read a book. I read on the bus or plane because it's guilt free, since I can't do much of anything else. It also helps me control the stress I feel being in a public place.

When I'm writing I need music, but it has to be very specific, geared toward the tone I want. When I'm typing dictation I need absolute silence so I can hear.

The television is only on if there's something I want to watch, but I'm frequently distracted by whatever I'm reading at the time.

Thought-provoking post, and something I've thought about a lot.

[Anne Gracie]

Maria, I also like to listen to audio books, especially on longish car trips. I used to spend a lot of time on the highway, driving back and forth on the same trip once or twice a week and I went through a lot of audio books. I also like to sing along to music in the car.
But sometimes I just enjoy the drive without any distractions except my thoughts.

Thanks for joining in the conversation.

[Anne Gracie]

Isobel, I don't mind the sound of kids playing — depending on who they are, I suppose. The sound of the littlies next door playing often makes me smile, and since they're not my kids I can tune them out if I want. But incessantly yapping dogs drive me mad — and I'm a huge dog lover.

I'm so with you on the decreasing lack of consideration for others in shared public space though. I really dislike being made to overhear loud mobile phone conversations. Somehow it's more intrusive than people simply talking to each other on public transport, and for some bizarre reason the most banal or irritating conversationalists are always the loudest, often talking on with a self-conscious air and a smug (and misplaced) certainty that they're fascinating.

[Anne Gracie]

Judy, perhaps that's why this growing trend of drowning the world with incessant canned noise worries me — the impression that people are drowning out their thoughts.

How rude that people talk to you while you're reading. I've always thought that a book was a sign for people to leave you alone. The worst I do is try to sneak a peek at what people are reading — I'm always interested in what other people read. I try to be discreet, though. ;)

[Sherrie Holmes]

Sherrie, here. I adore music and turn on the radio the moment I arise in the morning. However, I only listen to 2 commercial-free stations. I also subscribe to Live365, which is a free Internet radio station where you can listen to hundreds of commercial-free stations and all kinds of music. In addition, I listen to audiobooks when cleaning house, washing dishes, working in the garden, etc. I live way out in the boonies, so it's pretty quiet out here. I gave away my TV decades ago and don't miss it in the least.

Like you, Anne, I'm dismayed at the number of people walking (or driving) around with their ears plugged into music or telephones. I remember driving past a woman striding along on the side of the road, her face contorted in fury, making wild gesticulations with her hands, and shouting her head off. At first I thought she was mentally deranged. Then I saw the dinky phone hooked to her ear and realized she was arguing with someone on the phone! You see those Blue Tooth things hooked on ears everywhere! It's as if the world will end if they missed a call. I especially don't understand wearing those things when you're in a meeting--so rude!

[Louis]

For many years my job was to "listen" to a radio audio. Content was completely , for the most part, ignored. But let there be the least "scratch" or "funny sound" and I was all ears to find the source, and correct it.

Then at the TV station I always had an earphone in one ear to listen to the director commands.

Nowadays , occasionaly will listen to a radio when waiting at the doctors office.

[Margot]

When I'm reading, I definitely prefer quiet, but other times, I like to have some music. I used to listen to music just about all the time, but I lost my ipod about a year ago, and I haven't really listened to much music since then. I find I don't often actively miss having music except for when I'm walking my dog. Yes, listening to nature can be relaxing, but when jogging or walking, I like some sort of rhythm to step along with.

Also, I live in a college town & have observed the proliferation of 'ear buds/texting' and wonder why more students haven't been struck by vehicles, walked into poles, etc.. They are all so 'focused' on whatever device is in their hands...

Cate: It's a learned skill I find that I have become quite adept at it (although often I'm focused on a book, rather than a phone or other device.) My family always seems worried, but the number of poles and signposts I've run into is actually rather small. I can only think of one or two times when I ran into something.

[Lyn S]

My husband gets ideas for his invention or novels while mowing the lawn. The white noise is conducive to his thought process. Dave Grohl (lead of writer/singer for the Foo Fighters) has said in many interviews that he loves mowing his mom's yard as he always comes up with a new song. I always think of tons of things in the shower, so now have a pad in the bathroom to write them down as soon as I get out. I wonder for those with the headphones in are they really listening or has it become productive white noise to them?

And Margot I am glad I am not the only one who walks around reading. I have to use every minute of my day to get to all the great books from the Word Wenches.

[Anne Gracie]

Sherrie, I also like listening to audio books when I'm doing a mindless chore. It makes the time fly and at the end, I feel as though I've spent a lovely day reading, and somehow the good fairies have done this job while I was elsewhere. :)

As for mobile phones, I only use mine when I'm meeting up with someone or am away from home for days or more. I hate getting interrupted while I'm working. I understand for business and tradespeople, it's a necessary thing, and it's also an important line of communication between parents and children, but on public transport the conversations are frequently loud, banal chit-chat, to while away the time, and I don't want to be subjected to that.

As for the crazy-seeming muttering, yes — I've often chuckled at how people who talk, rave and mutter alone are now seen as normal, even possibly cool. LOL

[Anne Gracie]

Louis what an interesting job. So you were a professional listener (and presumably technician) in radio and TV. I bet you have some stories to tell about those days.

[Anne Gracie]

Margot, I'm chuckling — only one or two posts you've run into? Well, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. ;)

Interesting that you walk your dog to music. There is a pleasure in walking in rhythm, I agree. I usually have a song in my head — often some kind of silly jingle I've picked up during the day from somewhere.

[Anne Gracie]

Lyn, that's a very interesting point, that what people are listening to can become white noise that helps their thinking. It might be something we've become attuned to in our upbringing. I grew up with no TV and not a lot of choice on the radio, and I always did my homework in silence, so that's what I need to think properly.

But I had friends who did all their homework in a house with the TV on non-stop and music and radio playing in other parts of the house, and they still work to noise. Maybe that's the key.

[Margot]

Anne: When without a music playing device of some sort, I usually start singing (and hope no one I know comes upon me.)

Recently I discovered Horrible Histories, and the songs are quite catchy and get stuck in my head. They also make me laugh a lot. Especially the Georgian songs, since that's the period I tend to read of and know the most about. I think people might think me a bit odd, though, if they came upon me singing
"Actresses and duchesses -
The great loves of my life.
I loved more girls than I ate pies,
But I couldn’t stand my wife!" (George IV, who else?)
Even though these are, supposedly, for children, they're quite amusing, and I recommend at least taking a look at some.

[Kelly Hunter]

I work to noise - music mostly, and the bustle of a busy house. If I waited for quiet I'd never work at all. Which isn't to say I don't like quiet. I love it, especially at night. I used to have it at night (wistful sigh). Back in the days Before Frogs.

[Annrei]

I absolutely agree with you, Anne. I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm not sure that people my age know how to be by themselves
without some kind of noise around them.

When I'm writing, I need silence. I think it's why I write so often at night, because things are much quieter--even New York quiets down late at night. I can't concentrate if I listen to music when I'm writing.

But when I'm out and about, I love my iPod. I only really listen to it on the subway or bus and it filters out other people for me and lets me be alone with my thoughts. I've even found that while I'm daydreaming or working out a story problem that three songs have gone by and I didn't even realize it.

I work in a department store, so there's super loud music on in my department. Plus customers. Plus co workers. The decibel level drives me nuts. The rare times the music is turned off is amazing. I can actually talk to the customers and not shout at them!

[Anne Gracie]

Margot, I've never heard of Horrible Histories or these songs — they sound delightful. I'm going to chase them up. Thanks.

[Anne Gracie]

LOL Kelly -- you and your frogs are Outed.
And working to noise obviously suits you.
Horses for courses — or ponds for frogs.

[Anne Gracie]

Anrei, I think that's what disturbs me a little about so many people wearing i-phones or whatever — they're blocking out the rest of the world — understandable in a big city. But we also don't meet people's eyes, and so many people wear sun glasses regardless of the weather to take it one step further.

I understand why people do it, but on a societal level it worries me a little.

[Shannon McEwan]

I love my ipod, but I also value silence enough to have spent a few thousands hours in silent mediation retreats. I can say - from solid experience - that 'silence' can be pretty frenetic when you allow yourself to get caught up in obsessive thoughts. Something as simple as cold feet can be hellish. Or not.

The great thing about 'silence' is that it exposes distraction, and that in turn offers wonderful opportunities. Sooner or later you get bored with 'blah', and move on to more fulfilling things. Like ruminating. Or giving croaking frogs the attention they deserve.

By contrast, the accelerating culture of distraction for distraction's sake is all about indulging the 'blahs'. What a dull world it would be if we all chose to live like that all the time.

Thanks for the post Anne.

[Faith]

For me silence = sanity.

I'm sure my extreme need is partly a symptom of being an introvert and a writer, and perhaps my age.

But I only discovered the rejuvenating, healing influence of silence when I went to a yoga retreat in my early 20's. For 4 days all participants were required to remain completely silent, and it was pure magic. Until then I became a nervous wreck if I was away from phones and TV for more than a couple of hours, and that was before cell phones and iPads.

I also worry about society's loss of connection - to the natural world, and to each other - because the habit of noise is so prevalent. Also the unconscious habit of noise - TVs in waiting rooms, increased volume in movies, raised voices - denies the privilege of silence, peace and deep thought to those of us who value it.

I'm just really grateful for headphones! My daughter definitely shares her generation's need for noise, podcasts while working or gaming, volume high on the TV and music ... but as long as she uses her headphones and I'm not in the same room to hear the 'phones blasting, we are perfectly comfortable roommates. I finally had to realize that the state of her hearing is her business, not mine.

Let's hear it for silence!

Faith

[Keira Soleore]

I have never been fond of the Walkman when I was a kid or the iPod now. While driving I either listen to music, talk to my passengers, or drive in silence.

At home, listening to music is purposeful, not a background noise. In fact, the only time I have music as background noise is when I write, because it's the same carefully constructed music list I have that I play over and over again. It's a mood-setter for me.

Some yoga studios occasionally have music going on, and I find I really dislike it. It detracts from being able to focus on myself, what I am doing, what is going on around me, etc.

I am not an audiobook person. When I read, I read at an uneven pace, go back to refer to things, re-read stuff, etc. Audiobooks move at a mono-pace that's hard for me to concentrate on. My attention starts to wander. The only audiobooks I have listened to have been the Heyer ones read by Richard Armitage. *sigh*

[Patricia Rice]

I do think different brain types react differently to noise. I cannot, ever, listen to books being read aloud or to talk radio. It's like sending a bumblebee down my spine. But I do like white noise for concentration.

This is a timely subject. We have new neighbors with a new pool, teenagers, and new speakers who apparently thought everyone within half a mile might enjoy their radio station. Unfortunately, the rest of us are old fogeys. So I blasted Tchaikovsky for a while. The radio went away pretty quickly after that. I politely pulled the plug on Tchaikovsky because I'd much rather hear the birds sing too.

[Anne Gracie]

Shannon, that's a wonderful observation, about how the brain can get caught up with obsessive thoughts at times. It's very true.

I think that's why I like the opportunity to simply "be" at times, stopping the constant stream of thoughts, worries, plans, etc and just taking in my surroundings and being part of them.

[Anne Gracie]

Faith, my mother used to tell me I'd ruin my hearing listening to music at the volume I did, and the next generation does it now even more so, I think.

Perhaps society is becoming unconscious to the amount of noise generated. I know I often find movies too loud, a bit invasive.

Headphones and earplugs to block out unwanted sound isn't much of an option for me — I'm one of those people that find them uncomfortable — even when watching a movie on a plane, I can only keep one ear blocked by the headphones, otherwise I get a headache.

[Anne Gracie]

Keira, I think you and I must operate in a similar manner — you've pretty much described my habits with music to a T.

I have heard of some yoga places that play music — I suspect the people who put it on are of the "need music to block everything else out" school.

With audio books I just go with the flow, and if I love the book, I'll read it and that's when I'll go over some bits, skip some, and reread others.

[Anne Gracie]

Pat, your post reminded me of the (thankfully) short-lived era of the boom box. I remember so often, having a lovely peaceful time at the beach, reading, listening to the waves and the wind or maybe talking quietly with friends and then some idiot would arrive with a boom-box blaring.

And they'd usually have a self-satisfied grin, knowing (hah!) that he'd brought something cool to liven up the boring old beach and that he was king of the party.
Ghastly!

[Cara Elliott/Andrea Penrose]

Oh, Anne, you have touched such a hot button with me! I feel the same way you do about the beauty of silence to contemplate your thoughts. I love quiet—now, don't get me wrong, i love music too But IMO there is far too much "noise" in our culture, and I go a little bonkers if I can't have peaceful moments to myself.

I find it really disturbing that so many people feel they have to fill every waking momen with sound. I may be old-fashioned too, but I truly feel that not spending time thinking as opposed to passively listening or yakking, is really a Bad Thing for emotional and creative development. So there, that's my rant! (Plus I hate when all the mindless chatter intrudes on my wish to watch the scenery or sit in quiet contemplation. Call me a curmudgeon, but so be it!)

[Karin]

I never wear earplugs or listen to music while walking or on public transportation, or anywhere out in public for that matter. I like to be aware of what's going on around me, and if I'm walking alone among nature, I want to hear the natural sounds. I do listen to music or talk when driving, but for some reason I cannot drive with an audio book. I tried it once and realized that I got so caught up in the narration that I was not paying attention to the road.
Your story about the lorikeets reminded me of some friends who lived on a farm where the owner kept dozens of peacocks, and the noise was incredible. They roosted in a tree right outside the house and almost anything would set them off in a chorus of shrieks that sounded eerily like human screams.
I also detest the trend of having television in the waiting rooms of medical offices.

[theo]

Quiet, that elusive, thing I think most people don't even know they miss anymore. I see all of the earbuds too. When people are crossing the street and the traffic is whizzing by, when they're driving a car and don't pull over even though the ambulance is right next to their car, lights flashing, sirens blaring...

Yeah, I see the earbuds all the time. Makes me wonder if they really want to even be a part of the world anymore.

I think the best time I experienced in a long time was when the east coast blackout happened some years ago. For four days, not a plane overhead, not a car on the street, even the generators died halfway through the second day because the gas stations couldn't pump gas.

Pure bliss!

Then the power came back on and that ever present underlying hum of life was back. You know, the one that even when there's no 'noise,' you still hear it in the background.

I still say I was born a century too late.

[Anne Gracie]

Karin, thanks for joining in the conversation. Peacocks emit the most blood-curdling sounds, I agree. As for paying no attention to the road, I'm often guilty of having driven clear across the city and realizing at the end that I'd done the whole thing on automatic pilot. And quite often it's my own thoughts that have distracted me, not an audio book or radio program.

[Anne Gracie]

Theo, we had a blackout last week -- not a big one, like you're talking about -- just a dozen blocks, and only for a few hours. But it was night time, and dark, and the silence was immediately apparent.

I went out for my usual evening walk and it was amazing, hearing nothing but the traffic in the distance -- no music or TV, no machines. It was a warm evening, and I was amused to notice small groups of people gathered around their iphones on their front verandas, like cavemen gathered around a campfire.

[Mary Jo Putney]

LOL about the lorikeets. And they aren't even particularly musical. *G*

Mark me in the 'few things improve on silence' column. Part of it may be that writers have active minds and don't need additional stimulation.

Plus, constant noise is not only stressful, but if there's music blasting your eardrums, it can wreck your hearing. No thanks!

[Chris Bails]

I love music, especially country & classic rock-n-roll. I do read books or my nook when I work out. I walk on the treadmill and read or listen to music, depending on my mood. I will even read and listen to music at the same time. I do like constant noise, but every once i awhile I do like quiet. I live in the coutry so I get quiet a lot. I have 2 small kids, so if it is too quiet, my kids are doing something bad. LOL

[robyn]

Great post anne. Silence is a luxury now. Our tv broke last month and we had two nights of quiet. It was...amazing. Time stretched, relaxation set in and the sunset outside the window was the only thing to watch. I could hear me instead of everything else.
I had a worker who couldn't hear properly due to music related hearing loss. Permanent. 19. Way of the future? Give me kelly's frogs or the lorikeets any day :)

[Afsaneh]

Love the post! I prefer silence, I actually get annoyed even when someone's listening to music with headphones because I can still hear it. On public transport, I listen to music but on a really low volume so I can still enjoy everything around me.
I'm currently working on a book so too much noise actually muddles up my thinking.
My, don't I sound uptight?!

[Susannah]

Great post, Anne! I like quiet. I dislike sitting in a doctor's waiting room (or some similar place) with a TV blaring (or even playing at a moderate volume); I prefer to knit or read a book. If I'm driving somewhere, I'll often put on a CD in the car, but since I always listen to classical music, usually J.S. Bach, and very quietly, it isn't a distraction from the sounds I need to hear. In the evening, I love to sit out on my porch and read. I feel connected to the world---the birds chirping, the cars driving by, the teens walking by---but not that the world is intruding upon me. (When other people's music is loud enough for me to hear, that's intruding upon my world.)

[marlon]

Time uninterrupted, being alone with my thoughts, simply "being in the moment" is, to me, precious.